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How can I have my idea of a perfect man?

(89 Posts)
grapefruitpip Fri 08-Nov-19 19:16:23

The one I have is sadly deficient. He goes days without speaking, never washes the bath mat and refuses to ask for directions when lost.

Whenever I am lingering over my cheese and ham toastie in our local garden centre, he claims he needs to leave.
Also shelving issues, I wish my nick nacks to be displayed nicely, he claims he needs an extra fitting for his drill.

I'm not sure how to progress.

MawB Fri 08-Nov-19 19:22:21

Have you tried online porn? grin

phoenix Fri 08-Nov-19 19:22:21

The perfect man doesn't exist.

Hetty58 Fri 08-Nov-19 19:22:53

Perfect man? Give up that idea! Put up your own shelves (you know you can).

SpringyChicken Fri 08-Nov-19 19:27:01

Sounds like you settled for the standard model.

Hetty58 Fri 08-Nov-19 19:29:44

He sounds harmless enough so count your blessings!

grapefruitpip Fri 08-Nov-19 19:37:28

Maw I tried but sadly I fell asleep and himself was obsessing over Gardeners Question Time.

sodapop Fri 08-Nov-19 19:42:56

Too late grapefruitpip I've already got him. ( well almost )

GagaJo Fri 08-Nov-19 19:49:35

MawB, the porn men sound good, as long as they keep their pants on.

SirChenjin Fri 08-Nov-19 19:50:35

LTB - it’s the only option open to you

rosecarmel Fri 08-Nov-19 19:59:50

If all you need is an idea of a perfect man watch Outlander! I've plenty more ideas .. if you need more than one idea .. smile

Apricity Fri 08-Nov-19 21:04:45

GFP, you could just leave him at the garden centre. As he rarely speaks and never asks for directions when lost he could be there for a very long time. Maybe, one day, some kind person will think he's a garden gnome and take him home and put him on a shelf with other nick nacks. The elf on the shelf never has to talk to anyone or ever wash a bath mat.

Grannybags Fri 08-Nov-19 21:24:39


Yorksherlass Fri 08-Nov-19 21:25:45

This thread is awesome, thanks peeps 🤪

Waterloosunset Fri 08-Nov-19 21:41:48

By getting him that “extra bit he needs for his drill” ? .....

mumofmadboys Fri 08-Nov-19 22:58:17

A perfect man? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Callistemon Fri 08-Nov-19 23:09:36

All I wanted after Waitrose was a quick visit to White Stuff but no, he drove straight past and parked in Lidl.
Yours might find the extra bits for his drill in Lidl, the centre aisles seem to fascinate mine.

As did the snooker on TV

Wash the bath mat? confused

Apricity Sat 09-Nov-19 00:23:05

Would that be a bit for a Lidl drill?

Tommy16 Sat 09-Nov-19 05:06:05

Of course all you ladies are perfect!

Davidhs Sat 09-Nov-19 07:02:53

I have one that comes close, but then I always have been lucky.

NfkDumpling Sat 09-Nov-19 07:15:06

Of course, Tommy! We do have a few little foibles, but that just makes us interesting.

MawB Sat 09-Nov-19 07:35:02

Amazon provide most things.
Have you tried there?

Shropshirelass Sat 09-Nov-19 09:15:12

Man was an afterthought so will never be perfect, unlike us women!

whywhywhy Sat 09-Nov-19 09:19:57

A perfect man has never entered my life so I can't answer that one. I wish I had been born a lesbian. X

Shropshirelass Sat 09-Nov-19 09:20:09

When I worked in a school one of the parents used to phone up, he said 'Perfects the name and I am'. I used to think, No you're not! He was obnoxious!