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Heartbreaking to have a ten month granddaughter in Australia

(84 Posts)
lovemabub Fri 01-Jan-21 20:58:50

Is anyone else in my situation where all I want is to be with my grand children (a two and half year old boy and a ten month year old girl who I've never seen,) who live in Perth, Australia, but I can't get into the country?I'm literally ready to swim there I miss them so much! And my daughter is feeling overwhelmed by studying for a Masters as well as looking after them with no help. I was supposed to be there for her. I'm trying to be philosophical but wonder if there are any other grannies with Oz grandchildren out there?

tanith Fri 01-Jan-21 21:06:26

Not Oz children but they might as well be, I’ve not seen two of my GC for nearly a year now and there are many Grans here missing GC. What can we do but carry on missing them.

MayBee70 Fri 01-Jan-21 21:14:32

I actually wish my children were in Australia at the moment. I’m sure they’d be safer and I wouldn’t blame them if they decided to emigrate. If the pandemic has shown me one thing it’s that we can still be a family even if we don’t see each other in the flesh. My lot are 5 and 25 minutes drive away but I’ve only seen them from a distance over the past 10 months and even then only a few times. Having said that I’m only happy when I know they’re all ok: it’s all that seems to matter at the moment. If any of them get ill I’ll ache to be with them. I do sympathise, though. I guess I’m lucky in that I’m quite a solitary person.

avitorl Fri 01-Jan-21 21:19:42

I think heart breaking is a bit of a strong description for the situation you describe.They are fit,healthy and you have them in your life even if at a very great distance.Enjoy them as much as you can and look forward to a lovely reunion when it's possible

Harris27 Fri 01-Jan-21 21:24:12

I know of two people in the same boat as you. They are both on their own and waiting to go out to see their grandchildren When I’m feeling down about not it seeing mine I think of them and count my blessings. This time will pass be sure and we will live to see them another day.m

Jaxjacky Fri 01-Jan-21 21:41:37

It’s difficult for us all with GC’s, but unfortunately we can’t change it. I’m afraid in your situation it may be a long wait too, the only thing to do is try and keep busy, I know that’s easy enough to say, but fretting about something that can’t be changed will get you down more. Does your DD have a partner who could help a bit more or perhaps take a break with her studies?

Lucca Fri 01-Jan-21 22:11:28

Many of us on here with family in Australia or New Zealand. We sympathise but that’s all we can do !

Juliet27 Fri 01-Jan-21 22:25:32

Hear, hear Lucca

sodapop Fri 01-Jan-21 22:27:20

It's sad and hard to cope with but I have to agree with avitor your family are safe and well that is the main thing lovemabub. So many of us are missing family, its 14 months since I saw any of mine - God willing this year we will see each other.

BlueBelle Fri 01-Jan-21 22:49:55

It gets easier as time goes by lovemabub I haven’t seen my son and family for five years they were due to arrive from NZ for a holiday in June but had to put it off till 2022 I haven’t seen my other three grandkids since last Christmas Two are living here but all seven were born overseas you have to bite the bullet as long as they are fit, well and happy that’s all that matters

NotSpaghetti Sat 02-Jan-21 01:57:11

I think you should try not to worry. I don't know if your daughter has a partner or maybe she's a single mum? Either way if she's struggling she could ask to put her MA on hold or ask for an extension. I'm sure there will be thousands in her position this year in particular. Hopefully she knows about her options and would act if she needed to.

I do hope your feelings settle down soon. Some of us were the young mums who left the UK to make a life elsewhere and now know how our own mothers felt! Luckily, these days communicating is so much easier - so be pleased she is safe and well, and as others have said, look forward to a happy reunion in future.

absent Sat 02-Jan-21 05:53:49

Yes, it's hard. Been there, done that.

BlueBelle Sat 02-Jan-21 07:05:53

Yes notspaghetti I too left the country at 20 and my parents didn’t see their first grandchild till she was nearly 3 I don’t think I realised how hard that must have been for them
in those days we didn’t even have a phone so it was airletters or blueies(2 week delivery) and photos that took weeks to be developed and sent

OceanMama Sat 02-Jan-21 07:26:02

Yes Bluebell, these threads have made me wonder if maybe my grandparents did miss having the chance to meet me and know me. I never really thought about them having much care about it. I guess, for me, it was always just how it was with them being far away so I didn't know any different. For them, being much more aware of family connections and that their child wasn't with them, I'm sure it wasn't so simple. Apparently my grandmother always did ask about my own children and enjoyed hearing how they were doing and what they were up to. I only learned about this in recent years though. These thoughts make me feel quite sad to not have known family.

Genty Sat 02-Jan-21 07:35:59

On a positive note you have skype, hangouts, zoom etc; on the internet to be able to see your grandchildren, email contact. Before the internet all we had was snail mail which took a good 3 weeks to send/recieve a letter.
Yes its hard not being able to see grandchildren in the flesh and hug them, but its better than nothing. Its a damn sight harder when your estranged from your grandchildren through no fault of your own!

CassieJ Sat 02-Jan-21 10:08:20

My grandson is also 10 months, living in Canada. I have never seen him either in person. I was due to fly in the summer, but obviously that was cancelled.
We make the most of Skype and I have seen him grow up.

You need to accept it is what is it at the moment. The world is in the same situation. Hopefully before the end of this year we shall be able to meet in person, but for now I am grateful we are all well and carry on looking forward to our Skype calls.

storynanny Sat 02-Jan-21 10:21:02

It makes me sad but it’s not heartbreaking as they are all having a good life. 3 in Singapore not seen for a year and 2 in USA not seen for 18 months. I have been through lots of emotions but after 15 years of one emigration and 5 of the second I’ve adapted my life and expectations.
Having said that I have a completely different relationship with my 4 local little ones.
Thank goodness I can actually see them on a screen though

polnan Sat 02-Jan-21 10:39:52

my grandchildren live only 6 miles from me, but due to tiers etc.. lockup,,, I can`t get to see them...

trying very hard to adjust to this new way of living.

so many people are so much worse off than I am,,

NannyDaft Sat 02-Jan-21 10:42:08

It is bad for all us Grandparents but we have to just hope that things get better very soon vaccinations and the continued hard work of our scientists must be applauded ! Come on deep breath let’s all stay safe so we can see them soon !

BlueSapphire Sat 02-Jan-21 10:43:17

My DGDs might as well be on the other side of the world, due to Covid. They live 15 minutes walk away and I have seen them through the front door glass or window perhaps half a dozen times since March. They used to come to me two afternoons a week after school for their tea, and often used to stay over so mum and dad could have a night out. It has been deemed safer for me, as their DF is a key worker in London and commutes almost daily.

Then again, we had to live abroad with DH's job when the DCs were young, so we were away for long blocks of time, so can imagine now how it felt for our parents. I can remember now what DH's mum said when we told them we would be away for three years - "you've just given me a grandson and now you're taking him away from me."

Hopefully we'll soon conquer this virus and then be able to meet up again.

frenchie3 Sat 02-Jan-21 10:44:56

Yes, I also have 3 Grandchildren living in Perth. My husband and I were supposed to be visiting last October, but C-19 put pay to that. I feel content in the fact that my daughter informs me that Perth is one of the safest places in Australia, so that makes me feel better. Looking forward to the day I can visit.

CaroleAnne Sat 02-Jan-21 10:45:39

We too have grandchildren in Sydney and our daughter is studying for a Masters degree also. I am very proud of her as she manages everything marvelously without outside help. Saying that she has a very supportitive husband.
We have not seen our grandchildren for 2 years due to the pandemic but we see them on zoom and what's app and carry 5hem in our hearts.
Is your daughter putting pressure on you to be there to help her or are these your own thoughts. I am sure that she is finding a way round it. Tell her how you are feeling and she may be able to reassure your anxieties.
I hope that we may all be able to be free to travel in the near future.
Until such a time give them as much support as you can from the UK.thanks

luluaugust Sat 02-Jan-21 10:53:31

I have GC only as far as Scotland and haven't seen them apart from online for 14 months now. At least I feel we are in the same position as so many others including Prince Charles!!
I remember now how upset my mum was when we moved 30 miles away and took her first GC with us. Lets hope for a better 2021.

Lucca Sat 02-Jan-21 10:55:45


I have GC only as far as Scotland and haven't seen them apart from online for 14 months now. At least I feel we are in the same position as so many others including Prince Charles!!
I remember now how upset my mum was when we moved 30 miles away and took her first GC with us. Lets hope for a better 2021.

With respect .....once this gets sorted it won’t take long to get there to see them !

hicaz46 Sat 02-Jan-21 11:07:09

3 of my grandchildren live near Brighton and I haven’t seen them for over a year because of my age and their parents jobs which make seeing them too much of a risk. They don’t have to be in another country to still miss them.