I’m at a loss here and would be grateful for thoughts / experience in this area.
I have 4 sons , all in their 30s . One has been a source of worry for about 5 years now. He often cuts us off for months then re appears ( text , not usually in person) , with little or no explanation. He seems to think we should know why and maybe we should. He regularly sends angry , borderline abusive messages ,not mentioning individuals but implying somehow that everyone in our family is rude and nasty
He seems to have severe lows . He married about 5 years ago but even before we met his in laws he said he hated them and wants nothing to do with them. As far as we know he doesn’t ever see them. We like our daughter in law and have always been polite to her parents. It was difficult for a while as they are different from us but we have both worked at it and we keep in touch. My son tells us not to meet them but we will call to see them if we go through their town.
Recently another son married. We know his in laws well and we are more relaxed in their company, that is true.
Our other son has messaged us with a string of angry emails saying we are disgusting parents for being friendlier with one set of in laws, lots of abuse that we are unfit and he’s cutting us off etc.
We are worn out with this.
I would like to know - is it wrong for parents to have a closer relationship with one son’s parents in law than another’s ?
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