Would you be concerned?

Knowing looks.....has this happened before? How rude of them both. Your DH must have had conversations with your friend before now about her DH as this is not something that would just be brought up out of the blue. Seems there's something more to this than meets the eye!!

You’ve voiced my fears.

And yes, Newatthis. It has happened before. The FF (female friend) has often mentioned things about me or my private life that I feel is none of her business. My DH must gossip obviously. However, he can exaggerate and does lie. (I have caught him out in the past)

do you think they are having an affair.
certainly not faithful behaviour anyway.
so why do you stay with this man.

Do you know whether your husband and friend are in contact with each other apart from when the four of you meet up. By the way if I was in your shoes I don't think I'd feel like this person was a friend to me and I'd stamp on my husband sharpish.

That sounds horrid and embarrassing, you must have felt very awkward. I wonder how things were left? It does sound as though there is a backstory here and a difficult situation for you and the man of the other couple, not at all nice for both of you to feel you are being talked about. Three weeks since the event you describe - how are things now?

With this high level description, I was thinking of an affair too

What were they saying about the husband?
Any additional background may change the feedback really fast

Hithere - can’t divulge what they were saying as it would be outing but it was about his capabilities as a husband.

I still find it strange that they would do that in front of me.

Bashful, Is your name significant? Does it mean that your DH has a habit of behaving like this and you do not feel you can challenge him?

What has he done before and is your reticence as to the background details because he is a serial adulterer?

I did feel extremely awkward.

That is crossing the line.

Could they be testing the boundaries with you, how much they can push your comfort zone?

M0nica - Ha ha, no I’m not bashful by nature, quite the opposite but have a strong sense of right and wrong behaviour and this is just wrong. I can see my DH losing out big time here in terms of keeping my respect and the respect of his friend. If I try to talk to him about it he will just turn it round on me and I’ll be labelled unreasonable.

Possibly a dignified exit is called for.

Possibly Hithere. The FF likes to play games, always has. I tend to ignore it and not rise to it. She comes across as a very sad sort of a woman to me.

You could be right M0nica. I just don’t know.

How often do you see these friends and how would your husband react if you suggested not spending less time with them? It sounds as though he and the FF have communication at other times?

Nacky - I’ve tried that, suggesting spending less time with them but I genuinely feel sorry for the FF’s DH. He has been a very good friend to my DH. My DH dismisses anything I say when I want to discuss his or FF’s behaviour.

If they do communicate at other times then I find no evidence of it. However, any time I go out shopping or suchlike he will ask...
What shop are going to, whereabouts?
Will you be home for lunch?
Etc.
He also gets up very early in the morning like 4:00 4:30 or 5:00
I always go to bed first.
He’ll come later.
His phone always on quiet.
If I’m out he often stops what he was working on and is on the computer or goes out for a run.
If he was up to something, it would be very hard for me to find out.

Not a very nice way of behaving! Bit two faced, your husband talking about his lifelong friend, as he leaves the room, why would your husband make a dig at you in front of these people, and both your Dh and friend giving each other knowing looks, I would certainly be bringing things out in the open regardless of my DH flipping bashful, as I’d want to know what was going on, something not quite right going on here me thinks

So this woman asks which shop are you going to, and whereabouts! Seems to me she’s trying to find out how long you will be, what’s it got to do with her! He’s obviously up to something they both are bashful,

TrendyNannie6
I’m going to have to think cleverly about how to handle this. I know that if I do broach the subject he will turn it around on me and talk about how ridiculous or paranoid or whatever he wants me to appear to be to this couple or just to her and I don’t want that as she’ll delight in that. I’ve been racking my brains these past weeks trying to come up with something. Aaaagh!

TrendyNannie6
It’s not her who asks these questions. It’s my DH!

It is almost irrelevant as to what he is up to, you do not trust him.

You cannot be happy living without trust, always wondering what he is doing, trying to think of ways to catch him.

Also not being able to talk to him is not the sign of a loving relationship. You do not have to live like this.

If it were me I would tell him it is over then work out the practicalities.