My ex was abusive towards me. The things he did to me were very painful and left emotional scars. He raped me twice. Insulted and degraded me. Manipulated me. Called me aweful names daily. Laughed at me and mocked me in my pain. He hit me, choked me, restrained me. It was extremely hard to end the marriage. I left 10 years ago and 2 years ago I found love again and have a loving stable home. My ex begged me to go back to him after I started a new relationship and was pretty mad I refused.
He’s tried to continue his abuse by calling me names and making fun of me to our daughters. He lies about me and tells them if I ground them or correct them I don’t love them as much as he does. I’ve heard him tell them not to be a f$&@ing B like their mom. He is late to pick up and tells our girls he hopes it pisses me off. Additionally he refuses to return my text messages. I’ll text him if he’s picking up the kids and he ignores me. He’ll answer if I call him but I hate talking to him on the phone. He’s otherwise a okay father to them. I was very clear with him I’d take his time from him if he ever abused them. He doesn’t abuse them.
My issue is I have to see my ex all the time. We have 3 daughters. My younger twins play sports and are very active in school. He’s always there. My oldest daughter had a baby and when I went to see her he was there. I felt PTSD after seeing him in the hospital because he had treated me very badly in the hospital after I had our twins. He mocked me and laughed when I complained of being in pain from my c section and I felt sad that they took my twins in a different room.
I mainly ignore his antics because when I react he acts like a victim. He’s say so sweetly “I have no idea why your mom gets so mad. I’m so nice to her.” My girls hate being in the middle of it. I get blamed by him if I react. So I try not to ever react. This benefits my girls a lot because they don’t have to feel between us.
I struggle to deal with my emotions. Yesterday I was literally tearing up at my daughters volleyball game because I wanted to escape being in the same room as him. He had our daughter ask me if I wanted to go out to dinner with them after and I said no. She’s just put in the middle.
I just need help coping.
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