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Grandma jealousy

(53 Posts)
Grandmarosie62 Wed 09-Feb-22 16:55:10

I need some help for myself. Whenever there is a get together and both grandmas are there .My 3 year old granddaughter who I spend so much time with. Completely ignored me. I was very upset this wasn’t the first time it happened.So I left the party early. I get so ANGRY

PollyDolly Wed 09-Feb-22 17:03:19

The next time this happens just ignore the situation, rise above it and don't let it bother you.
By leaving the party you are only punishing yourself, stay and enjoy the company of others.
Young children can be so fickle and it doesn't mean that she loves you any the less.
If the child was older you might justify asking her why she's like that towards you but she's three years old.

glammagran Wed 09-Feb-22 17:05:48

Oh dear! If your GD in any way noticed this she will probably be feeling guilty through no fault of her own. She’s only 3 and just wouldn’t have that degree of awareness. When my 3 year old GD is with her cousins at a family gathering I usually get “Go way Gran, I’m playing with M & I”. I just laugh. The other GP’s and ourselves get on just fine. It’s simply not worth making an issue of it or you will make trouble for yourself
down the line.

MissAdventure Wed 09-Feb-22 17:07:48

Perhaps if your grandaughter spends a lot of time with you it's a novelty to spend time with the other gran.

I would tread very carefully before you think about leaving early again, though, because it's not something to behave like that about.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 09-Feb-22 17:09:56

Aww...she’s only three, please don’t worry, although I understand you completely. Is it that she rarely sees the other granny, so she’s a bit of a novelty? What about the grandads? How do they feature?

I think children learn quickly to manipulate if they can, and it may be she thinks/ does...get something from the other granny, if she doesn’t see her that much. What you do for her is naturally more spread out.

Do you have other grandchildren?

Esspee Wed 09-Feb-22 17:11:00

Competitive grand parenting? Come on! Allow your grandchild to have fun without making it about you.

Hithere Wed 09-Feb-22 17:17:20

This gc is not there to fulfill your needs.

Reevaluate your reaction and do not punish a child for being a child.

Curlywhirly Wed 09-Feb-22 17:20:08

Oh they certainly can be fickle! Our granddaughter (from a very young age) has regularly ignored my DH if I am present. But, if it's just the two of them she chats away! DH finds it amusing rather than upsetting. He's a windup merchant and I think it's her way of trying to wind him up 🙄 Children can be so cruel at times!

Hithere Wed 09-Feb-22 17:20:18

Two new threads by competitive grandmas? flowers

Hithere Wed 09-Feb-22 17:20:41

Sorry, notflowers, I meant this - hmm,

Grandmabatty Wed 09-Feb-22 17:31:25

You are the adult here. You say you spend lots of time with her anyway, so what's the problem? Your granddaughter is only three and will chop and change her affections many times. Why on earth would you punish a small child because they play with someone else? I have experience of this with my sil's father who tries very hard to be competitive parenting. I am happy to play with dgs1 if he asks. If he wants his other grandparents, so be it. I see him lots of times and I'd rather be the bigger person. His paternal granny hardly sees him.

silverlining48 Wed 09-Feb-22 17:42:20

Same gran I think. The other thread started 5 years ago.

Kim19 Wed 09-Feb-22 17:46:11

You regard GPing as being some sort of competition? Rise above it. Only the other adults will notice your pique and be uncomfortable about it. GC won't have a clue/care (I sincerely hope!).

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 09-Feb-22 17:47:50

Dear me. Competitive grandparents. How childish.

Elizabeth27 Wed 09-Feb-22 17:48:09

Who are you angry with? Surely you want your grandchild to be happy, if that means she is happier with someone else then so be it.

I can understand being upset that she preferred the other grandma but not angry.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 09-Feb-22 17:54:33

I see OP has also posted on the thread today - the one from 2017 mentioned above.

rosie1959 Wed 09-Feb-22 17:56:25

As per the previous post work out what you are angry about? A fickle 3 year old ?
Why leave early who were you trying to punish
She is very young and may have been enthralled to see the other nanny at that age they don't have much social awareness

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 09-Feb-22 17:57:30

My granddaughter adores my younger son - her uncle. She always wants to sit with him and for him to read her stories. It’s sweet and not annoying at all.

Callistemon21 Wed 09-Feb-22 17:59:31

silverlining48

Same gran I think. The other thread started 5 years ago.

Must be another grandchild, then, if this one is only three.

I agree, I think you may need help with your anger issues, GrandmaRosie.
Perhaps your GP can help to point you in the right direction.

Madgran77 Wed 09-Feb-22 18:28:54

Grandmabatty

You are the adult here. You say you spend lots of time with her anyway, so what's the problem? Your granddaughter is only three and will chop and change her affections many times. Why on earth would you punish a small child because they play with someone else? I have experience of this with my sil's father who tries very hard to be competitive parenting. I am happy to play with dgs1 if he asks. If he wants his other grandparents, so be it. I see him lots of times and I'd rather be the bigger person. His paternal granny hardly sees him.

Good advice from Grandmabatty

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 09-Feb-22 18:34:00

If you had stormed out of a party at my home and the other GP was there I would let you go and think twice about having you back when I was inviting other guests.
Really inappropriate to get angry, as some others have suggested, get your anger under control before you revisit the 3 yr old.

Iam64 Wed 09-Feb-22 18:43:34

Yes get some help in dealing with your feelings. Angry with a 3 year old, storming out? Get over yourself

MerylStreep Wed 09-Feb-22 18:49:18

Who’s the child here 🤔

rafichagran Wed 09-Feb-22 18:51:14

Hithere

This gc is not there to fulfill your needs.

Reevaluate your reaction and do not punish a child for being a child.

I think the OP is aware of that, in future try to keep those jealous feelings to yourself.
OP cant help her feelings, but she must not show it.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 09-Feb-22 18:51:24

There’s nothing to suggest the OP ‘ stormed out’, or ‘ punished her granddaughter’.

She says she was very upset and left the party early. This may or may not have been noticed. We don’t know. She could have exploded when she got to the car/ home. Of course, it may have been different to this, but we don’t know.

The point is...realising her little granddaughter has every right to play with who she chooses. I quite like being at party events, and not being asked to play/ read or whatever. I like talking to the adults. I used to look after one of my grandchildren three days a week, so was more than happy for her to go to others at get togethers.