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Can anyone explain this…

(31 Posts)
cakehunter Sat 21-May-22 02:07:32

I received an email tonight from a dating website for mature age group. It was addressed to my husband, first name only., but my email address. I know I haven’t been looking. at any dating websites, and if he has then why didn’t the message go to his emails? We don’t have a joint email address. Please can anyone with more internet know-how than me explain it. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but it’s starting to shake my trust in him.

Hithere Sat 21-May-22 02:16:52

Maybe the email address is in the dark net and sold for spam campaigns?

FarNorth Sat 21-May-22 06:24:00

It's probably spam.

BlueBelle Sat 21-May-22 06:29:45

Ask him ?

cakehunter Sat 21-May-22 06:38:54

Yikes! How does that happen? My online shopping is mainstream M&S, Sainsburys etc. If it’s something I’ve inadvertently done, it’s still odd that the email was sent to my husband’s name not mine? I do have trust issues, but I’m trying to keep it all ‘innocent until proven guilty’.

cakehunter Sat 21-May-22 06:43:55

And I’ve just had another one, this time to a female name. I thought to get spam you had to be engaged in an online activity that links it somehow?

Juliet27 Sat 21-May-22 06:48:53

My husband sometimes knows if I’ve been looking at sites as adverts start appearing for Long Tall Sally (those clothes certainly wouldn’t suit him!!). He’s also had calls on his phone asking to speak to me. So much seems to be connected.

mumofmadboys Sat 21-May-22 07:39:57

Don't read anything into it. Maybe mention it to him. We get all sorts of strange e mail adverts but they go into spam usually

Esspee Sat 21-May-22 07:42:43

I suggest you do not mention it to him but start investigating his browsing history. You could join up and see if he has a profile on the site, check his incoming emails etc.

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 21-May-22 07:49:26

MrOops goes onto vintage car sites, used car sites and anything to do with property. We both get bombarded with spam emails ( I’m talking about 150 a day usually) about a whole range of subjects, some very unsavoury ones.
Some linking directly to something I’ve looked at online, for example I looked at a well known Bathroom Company’s website for ideas and lo and behold over 50 emails about bathrooms and some not very nice ones about what to do in a bathroom.
Fortunately they go straight into the spam box and are all deleted unread, however when I go into the spam folder the headlines of the emails are plain to see.

I’m yet to be convinced that online companies don’t sell your details on to a 3rd party. Indeed when you go onto many sites it asks you to accept cookies , in the small print it often says that they will pass your details onto their ‘trusted’ advertising partners.
Who then more than likely, sell them on.

FarNorth Sat 21-May-22 07:49:38

I get occasional emails about Viagra or sexy girls - not connected to anything I've been doing, I assure you.

Katie59 Sat 21-May-22 07:51:38

It’s just spam delete it, if your husbands name was correct either it’s coincidence or it was picked up from another account - Facebook, Instagram etc very difficult to stay private if you use social media.

Grammaretto Sat 21-May-22 07:56:35

Just ask him!

netflixfan Sat 21-May-22 07:57:59

Please don’t worry. It’s the same sort of thing as getting spam emails for equity release, funeral planning, health insurance. Some firms just chance their arm with the more mature email users. Maybe they recon that there is more chance that we are widows, ill, going to die sooner rather than later, be skint in a big house.

Liz46 Sat 21-May-22 08:31:18

When my husband looks at something, I often get it popping up on Facebook so I wouldn't worry too much.

I have just remembered something that happened many years ago when we were not used to the internet. My daughter had been telling me about cameras watching animals in Africa. I googled 'wildlife in Africa'. I am not so innocent now!

Juliet27 Sat 21-May-22 08:39:08

Some pretty large animals I bet Liz 🤭

MerylStreep Sat 21-May-22 08:39:32

You are involved in online activity
You are posting here. You shop on line. All online activity

Flossie777 Sat 21-May-22 20:39:36

Clear your cookies

Pammie1 Sat 21-May-22 22:12:22

It’s more than likely spam - please don’t worry. I’ve never engaged with a dating site and am in a long term relationship, but I’ve had emails advertising their services, and they address me by name. I think that’s as a result of companies selling data. A friend used a bereavement support site a few years ago - nothing to do with dating, but she suddenly starting getting emails which appeared to be responding to her online dating profile. The bereavement site had been hacked and a number of people had their details used to set up fake online dating profiles - presumably for scamming purposes. Might be worth checking to make sure personal details aren’t being misused.

Nannarose Sat 21-May-22 22:44:07

I agree that it is most likely 'phishing'. I get very weird contacts sometimes.
At the moment I seem to be targeted by folk who think that I am interested in the US military, am a sympathiser of Trump and survivalists! I cannot think what may have set this lot off, however, none of the wants to date me!

timetogo2016 Sun 22-May-22 12:20:49

I have had that many times cakehunter,i have even had e-mails offering me viagra and penus enhancers,like one husband isn`t enough.
And Dh has had females asking for a meet up.
I would ignore it if i were you,if your Dh was up to something i don`t think he would be daft enough to use your e-mail address.

Kate1949 Sun 22-May-22 12:35:19

Like timetogo we get various emails from women offering 'services'. I block them but we still get more. I think it's just random.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 22-May-22 12:42:16


Yikes! How does that happen? My online shopping is mainstream M&S, Sainsburys etc. If it’s something I’ve inadvertently done, it’s still odd that the email was sent to my husband’s name not mine? I do have trust issues, but I’m trying to keep it all ‘innocent until proven guilty’.

In my experience the very fact that you have an e-mailaddress that other people can get hold of, either because it is listed in a phone directory or the like, or because the spammer has hacked your e-mail service, is enough for you to receive spam.

Ask your husband whether he landed on a dating site by mistake.

Probably the spammer sends out junk mail addressed to various male and female names hoping he has guessed correctly, or that he causes trouble as he apparently is doing in your case.

Block the sender and run your antivirus protection and think no more about it.

Elizabeth27 Sun 22-May-22 12:55:23

As you opened the first email you will now receive many more.

cakehunter Sun 22-May-22 15:38:29

Thank you everyone. A reassuring mix of GN common sense and humour as always! We think it might have something to do with new phone and loading lots Apps in short time, as started around then? Also I've blocked domains. There were a cluster covering dating, diesel emission claims etc under same domain. My fear isn't husband looking for a date with Sophia from Slovakia grin but that we're open to online theft and fraud. Seems to be spate of them recently and my heart goes out to the victims of scams. Terrifying.