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Finding a decent man on Online dating over 50

(18 Posts)
coastalgran Tue 24-May-22 12:33:52

They say women are a bit picky but men are worse. Why is it so difficult to find a decent man on a dating site who doesn't want a housekeeper, therapist for his broken marriage or death of his wife or a clothes horse to accompany him to events. Is there no-one out there who values an older, intelligent, sensible woman, and if there is where is he!

Ladyleftfieldlover Tue 24-May-22 12:35:40

A very old friend of mine was widowed in 2015. She remarried in 2019 to someone who had also been widowed. They are both lovely.

Esspee Tue 24-May-22 12:40:53

I found a great match and to be honest, apart from the Church of Scotland minister the few people I met were delightfully normal.

FannyCornforth Tue 24-May-22 12:46:13

My widowed aunty met a lovely man who she now shares her life with on there

Sassanach512 Tue 24-May-22 12:50:53

I'm intrigued by the C of S minister Esspee can you elaborate? winksmile

Davida1968 Tue 24-May-22 13:59:33

I know a woman who met a man online during lockdown. They chatted a lot & eventually (when circumstances permitted) they met. Now they see each other regularly. They're exactly the same age (70+) and both "single". A really nice guy (I've met him a few times). So, (as far as I can see), it can work out!

DanniRae Tue 24-May-22 14:36:07

Sassanach512

I'm intrigued by the C of S minister Esspee can you elaborate? winksmile

Me too! grin

Septimia Tue 24-May-22 16:49:31

I'm pleased that some people have met nice men through it - because I find the ones on the adverts somewhat creepy!

Katie59 Tue 24-May-22 16:50:46

You may meet a lot of frogs before you meet Prince Charming, check them out thoroughly, make sure their story adds up, so don’t commit until you are sure, good luck!.

GagaJo Tue 24-May-22 16:56:39

My experience of it is that the men want younger women. So if a bloke is 60, he wants a 45/50 year old. I'm not interested in men 15 years older than me, so it'd be a hard no from me these days.

When I did use OLD, I was 40 and the men I dated were approx. 10 years older than me. Quite a few nice guys. None were the right one.

PollyDolly Tue 24-May-22 17:04:20

I tried one of the sites some years ago before I met my OH. One particular guy was so full of himself, talked garbage, bragged about his house (not particularly impressive from what I recall) flashed the cash (I wasn't impressed) had dreadful taste in clothes and was a complete twerp!
It put me off dating sites for good.

Esspee Tue 24-May-22 17:43:15

Sassanach512

I'm intrigued by the C of S minister Esspee can you elaborate? winksmile

He was a CoS minister, married to a CoS minister but he couldn’t end the marriage as they had a Down’s Syndrome daughter. Instead he went onto OLD hoping to find a discreet partner.
I made a point of spending quite a long time corresponding with matches before meeting them so that I could weed out the unsuitable. In his case he told me he was a CoS minister and his situation was complex but he would tell me all when we met. I agreed to meet for a coffee at a local museum, probably because he was a minister, and when he revealed his situation I gave him such a dressing down he was speechless at first. I hope he did what I told him to do and remove himself from the site.
He was the only person I met who was objectionable. Everyone else I met was normal.

Callistemon21 Tue 24-May-22 17:46:55

shock

Good for you!

Esspee Tue 24-May-22 17:58:54

I did meet a millionaire. He didn’t ever say or try to give the impression he was wealthy but my son’s girlfriend who was concerned about my safety had a friend who knew his family.
Apparently I should have guessed as his car cost a lot over 100K but I know nothing about cars.
We went out about five times, he showed consideration and geared the outings to my interests taking me places I found fascinating but there was no spark. I didn’t long to see him again. He asked if I would be prepared to live in Italy as he was intending to move there. He was good looking charming and generous but really not my type.
Looking back there were red flags. He never tried to kiss me or hold me and it all made sense when I was told after I had stopped seeing him that he was thought to be gay.

Stacey007 Tue 24-May-22 18:44:23

I have found that the physically attractive, successful in the workplace and solvent men are generally after women much younger. The men who claim that they are not materialistic and look like they've just got out of bed, can’t be bothered to wash let alone shave, and for some reason don’t seem to realise how awful it looks when their profile picture shows urinals behind them, I generally find, have no job, no pulse, no house and can’t drive. I’ve managed to buy my own house, have a car, a good job and have no intention of ‘keeping’ a man, I’ve given birth to one and spent practically my whole life picking up after two men aka my son and husband and I’ve no intention of doing it again.
I can’t blame anyone but myself tho, as I had several opportunities years ago but chose to bring my son and daughter up and give my time to them. Sadly they have now flown the nest and I’m alone ☹️
I’d love to find a nice man but those that are nice and my age don’t even get to the dating sites, there are to many women queuing up for them ☹️ It’s definitely a mans world.

Stacey007 Tue 24-May-22 18:45:30

That should have read....my ‘ex’husband. 😆

ShropshireMiss Wed 25-May-22 15:46:29

I’d been considering dipping a toe into online dating. However I’ve now started watching For Love Or Money on BBC iPlayer and it’s put me off.

Grammaretto Wed 25-May-22 16:03:02

That's a shame that there are no nice men!
I am not looking for one myself but I have heard that some of the more specialist sites work well.
Farmers looking for someone who would enjoy the rural life, for example. Apparently there are lots of lonely farmers.
countrypartners.co.uk/

Meetup interest groups sound like a better bet so that's my tuppence-worth. Good luck and don't give up but don't appear too keen either.