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Am I antisocial or just weird?

(114 Posts)
Madwoman11 Mon 20-Jun-22 08:51:34

When I was younger my fear was to have to live alone, but I have now lived by myself for several years and know I could never live with anyone again. I don't even like people staying overnight.
I do have a good social life but my home is my space. I do have some health problems and I'm in my late sixties. Does anyone else feel the same?

shysal Mon 20-Jun-22 09:08:25

I am feel the same. Having lived alone for 24 years after divorcing, I would never want to share my home again. I suppose I have just become selfish, but love being able to do exactly what I want when I want.

shysal Mon 20-Jun-22 09:09:01

am

henetha Mon 20-Jun-22 09:59:46

I feel exactly the same. I know for certain that I could never live with anyone ever again, (with the possible exception of my own children).
I have a small number of friends and I like to occasionally socialise, but I'm always glad to get home and be alone.
It's essential to me to have at least 4 or 5 days in the week when I don't have to see anyone. I wish I knew why I'm like this.

aggie Mon 20-Jun-22 10:03:04

I grit my teeth and go to our local midweek club , local history talks etc , but I am first to leave ! Always glad to get home
I don’t want to become a recluse , so I do socialise to a certain degree

TillyTrotter Mon 20-Jun-22 10:04:24

It would be weird if we were all the same.
I like a day at home without visitors following a day of being sociable and out with friends.
If you like being alone and are not lonely I think it is just fine.

aggie Mon 20-Jun-22 10:05:49

I have been on a few Coach tours and enjoyed them but glad to pay the extra to have my own room , no matter how friendly my fellow travellers are ! But I would never go unless with a group I know , or at least one friend

MadeInYorkshire Mon 20-Jun-22 10:10:06

For various reasons after I sold my house where I had lived for 10 years alone, but mainly for health reasons needed to be closer to my daughter, when I got to my new house, they all moved in! Then I had to have my eldest back from uni as due to her illness she had to give it up. So there's now 6 of us here, and it's chaos!!

Going to release equity in order to make it right for all concerned so fingers crossed I can get enough to do it all!

Elizabeth27 Mon 20-Jun-22 10:10:19

Same here, I have also realised that when I go away it's the pleasure of coming home that I like the most.

I really dislike staying at other people's houses too.

Luckygirl3 Mon 20-Jun-22 10:11:18

I hate living alone. I am a sociable being and my life feels barren on my own.

I have masses of interests and roles within the various communities around me, I sing and run choirs and arts festivals; but in the end I am on my own and it is not for me.

There is nothing I can do about except it suck it up, as they say. I have been gifted a life I did not want when my OH died. I find it very tough.

henetha Mon 20-Jun-22 10:12:44

Yes, I've done coach holidays alone and love them. But strangely, I've made friends on the coach each time!

karmalady Mon 20-Jun-22 10:22:35

I love my own space, my home is my nest and my haven. I never, my whole life, lived alone until 2015, when my husband died. It took a while but it was sink or swim and I have now made my house my home. I have always had a busy life and now, of my own choosing, I like to be busy but the tail does not wag the dog. I am busy with fulfilling hobbies

I can meet people anytime and can join courses but where I live, I can walk into the small market town and guarantee a dozen `good mornings` and it is so easy to stop and chat.

Shinamae Mon 20-Jun-22 10:25:25

I have been visiting with my daughter for four days and I’m going home today and I’m really looking forward to my own bed. On July 6 I am going on a coach trip to Anglesey and puffin Island…

karmalady Mon 20-Jun-22 10:25:32

Then I come homw and it is a lovely feeling when I come in and close the front door, back in my own world.

BlueBelle Mon 20-Jun-22 10:30:59

I ve lived alone about 25 years and no way could I ever live with anybody now, I am very sociable and out and about going to things, meeting people, doing voluntary work having lunches out etc I love being sociable but don’t want anyone in my house more than a few hours I even love getting home if I go away I can’t wait to get back it’s like a rabbit scurrying down their rabbit hole that’s me
My safe place my therapeutic place, it’s mine and only mine
Perhaps it comes from being married to and living with some right xxxxxxxxx I ll leave you to fill the blanks but it starts with A and ends with S

Witzend Mon 20-Jun-22 10:41:39

I don’t live alone but the house is very peaceful when it’s just me and dh, with enough space that we’re not on top of each other - I do need my P and Q. After any length of time with a lot of people I love returning home.

I have a dd who’s the opposite - the more people the merrier, almost non stop. She certainly didn’t get it from me! My DF and MiL were both intensely sociable, though, so I blame them. 😉

H1954 Mon 20-Jun-22 10:44:21

There is a vast difference between being alone and being lonely.
I used to live alone but as I worked full time I didn't have the time to feel lonely. My job was often challenging and it was bliss to come home to peace and quiet and only having to please myself.
I think it is important to maintain what we are comfortable with and I think that karmalady sums this up very well. Even if we do live alone a cheery smile and a 'good morning' greeting speaks volumes.

Baggs Mon 20-Jun-22 10:58:51

I doubt hermits were ever called selfish.

travelsafar Mon 20-Jun-22 11:00:25

Me too. My home is my safety net full of memories, some good some bad. I go out weds, Thurs, Fridays. My sister calls for breakfast and a catch up Saturday mornings and Sundays are reserved for one or the other of my children and their families. Mon and Tues are my me days and I love them. Pottering in my home and garden catching up on chores while listening to the radio. I see my neighbours most days and on those two days often pop round for a cuppa or they come to mine. Yes I am alone but no way am I lonely. 😊

Grandmabatty Mon 20-Jun-22 11:37:47

I love living alone! I don't have to share anything. I'm in charge of the remote control for the telly. 😂 I have a double bed to myself. I do what I want when I want. I occasionally have dgs1 to stay for a sleepover but that's it. I have enough friends to be sociable. When on holiday, I look forward to being home. I have been lonely but that was in a difficult marriage.

twiglet77 Mon 20-Jun-22 11:59:53

I am mid 60s, divorced and I love living alone now the family have all grown up and moved out. I’m on edge even when one of them stays the night, just hearing someone using the bathroom and kitchen, up and down the stairs, talking in their phone. And I loathe sleeping anywhere else, I don’t go on holidays and if I ever visit family I always decline the invitation to stay the night.

I don’t have visitors, my home is my sanctuary with my dog and cats, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Kim19 Mon 20-Jun-22 12:07:39

Luckylady and Karmalady pretty much outline my lifestyle and thoughts. Only difference is that, rather that feeling it tough being alone, I find it rather sad. I feel I'm living my second best life although decidedly comfortable and sociable. C'est last vie..........

Farzanah Mon 20-Jun-22 12:31:31

That is sad Luckygirl and adjustment to living alone after a long partnership must be very difficult. It’s nice to have someone to share thoughts, and just be there for you, its a space that friends, however lovely don’t really fill.

I suppose it’s a situation that those in all close partnerships will eventually face. The remaining one that is!

Toetoe Mon 20-Jun-22 12:48:09

My greatest fear was to have to live alone ,it terrified me , then aged 52 my life changed and I left my marriage , those first years were lonely I worked at 3 jobs due to low income and to keep busy running away from myself , then slowly slowly as years passed I became more comfortable with myself and its now 18 years and I wouldn't change it . I like being self wise , I don't want to be running around looking after people as I did all my life . I love my own bed , my own kitchen and my own remote control smile

When my life changed aged 52 I remember thinking

My life has turned upside down
But feels the right way up

It did and it was

M0nica Mon 20-Jun-22 13:05:57

DD decided when she was about 20 that she was too uncompromising to sustain a relationship or be a mother.

She has lived happily alone, now, for nearly 30 years. She is a happy and sociable person, but family are the only people who visit or stay with her. We are always welcome.

We had to nurse her for several months after a serious accident and found after the first few fraught weeks, that she was happiest to only have one of us with her at a time.

I can see no reason why anyone should have to defend a decision to live alone. In many ways I am like DD. For most of my (happily) married life, I had a DH who travelled a lot, so I frequently found myself alone, for days, week and on several occasions, months, and was as happy as Larry. If/when I become a widow, I will happily live alone for the rest of my life.