I’ve been married to an amazing fella for 15 years and we are very happy indeed. 2 lovely kids, financial stability etc
my inlaws really hate me and I am getting increasingly distressed by it. It makes me feel so worthless than an entire family dislikes me because I’m not daft enough to overlook that it might be my fault. I actually feel quite bullied.
For a long time, I picked up on snide remarks and just general bitchy comments but ignored and continued to make them welcome. I’m a warm and sociable person by nature and love having family around for dinner we. And for years I would, like most DIL, be the one to instigate family get togethers etc. I slowly realised that in the company of their friends and other family members, that they would ignore me and exchange glances. I felt completely ignored at her 70th for example then at my sons holy communion the following year. I mean, none of them spoke to me at all. I’d spent days preparing a cracking banquet.
My FIL has documented mental health issues/ he is chronically angry, depressed, Bitter and aggressive. My MIL has a really awful time with him I think but that would never be acknowledged…. I think they prob sky spend too much time together alone and speculating about everybody around them. She’s spineless and bitchy but before the scales fell from my eyes, I always thought we got on quite well. I have a very good relationship with my mum and know how to get on with people in that age group. Plus she has no daughters. Both of her other sons have had significant problems- one is in an absolutely abusive relationship and the other is divorced v acrimoniously. We are happy: why don’t that enough! I’m a good wife and mum, I know I am.
We can’t speak to them - even my husband who is the golden boy lawyer son - you would have thought therefore good at dealing with awkward people can’t speak to them because it ends in FIL going on about his mental health.
I stopped having anything to do with them three years ago when FIL started roaring and shouting at my autistic son and then a few weeks later accused me of all sorts of paranoid nonsense: it absolutely kills me: I am from a highly dysfunctional family and harmony is important to me - I need to be liked in a family context and I don’t know where I’ve gone wrong. I know that sound v needy - I’m not openly needy at all, I’m confident and assertive but really feel so defeated by this. Please help.
Elisheva Mon 27-Jun-22 23:33:39
Elisheva Mon 27-Jun-22 23:36:06
Chewbacca Mon 27-Jun-22 23:46:31
Granny23 Tue 28-Jun-22 00:31:03
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