ghosting in friendships

Of course we're allowed to end friendships Golddustwoman and although you say you faded the relationship out as kindly and diplomatically as you could, you still found yourself having to block her.

Is that because she wasn't able to see that you found her intrusive and unable to respect boundaries and if so, could that be because you never told her so?

i think you have been almost too kind, in not distancing yourself sooner.
it;s the sort of thing i have done in the past, so i recognise wanting to be sensitive and respectful of others, and not to hurt their feelings.
but with some people you just have to be firmer.
read up on assertiveness.
the fact is that you have the absolute right not to associate with any individual. your time and trust is precious, and you do not owe it to anyone.

Well done you for setting definite parameters. You have avoided prolonging a caustic friendship.

Smileless2012 there was one particular topic - my relationship with my partner that she would ask about a lot, quite personal questions and I would reply I did not want to discuss it. She would often still persist and I sometimes thought she carried on questioning me when she knew I didnt want to talk about it. But you're right, that may have been my assumption and she may be someone who needs things spelt out more than most but I am not convinced she would have reacted to that very well.

Ghosting is suddenly being uncontactable with no previous hint, so you didn't do that.

I think you did as well as you could have and shouldn't worry about it.

thanks welbeck, I read about assertiveness and I think she knew that I often found it hard to be firm for fear of hurting her feelings and thats why she pushed and pushed

FarNorth - yes I have seen that definition too and I gave her plenty of notice

Adelaide66, thank you. I often came back from coffee with her feeling negative and that things she had said weren't right

Clearly you have done the right thing, this ' friendship ' was of no benefit to you. Asking personal questions about your relationship with your partner is very odd! She seems needy , clingy and possibly envious of the relationship you have with your partner -as you say she may well have a crush on you ! A friendship should enhance and enrich your life not cause anxiety. She seems to fixated on you so you are wise to stay clear of her.

You ended a relationship as kindly as you could. I don't see what more you could have done for someone making you unhappy.

This is just my perspective. She was not the friend for you. I wouldn't listen to other people's judgement on her, just go by my feelings. I would say I'm sorry I have so many demands on my time, commitments, holidays booked etc. I won't be able to meet up. It's been good knowing you though. Just end it. I don't like loose ends so I wouldn't block anyone myself, except a real pest, rather put a closure on it.

No Golddustwoman you did not ghost this person but dealt with it in a very diplomatic and sensitive way. There are times when we meet people who don't understand boundaries and feel they have a right to our time exclusively. I told someone in the past that I had to make time for other people in my life too and could not always be available for her. It seemed to work.

Well you did quite right, absolutely. If you felt uncomfortable and nothing but negativity, then in my view you did the best thing without a doubt.