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Deleted my dating profile

(54 Posts)
gigi1958 Sat 09-Dec-23 19:23:15

So yesterday I went ahead and deleted my profile on not because I met someone but because I realized at 65 I kept meeting men that looked like they needed a nurse not a date. And suddenly I realized that since my divorce I've never had a man take care of me or for that matter anybody. And suddenly I felt liberated and a bit selfish also but I simply don't want to become a caregiver again. My life is full I have children, family, friends, financially independent and my good health. Although I did have breast cancer last year but that seems to be in my rear view mirror and I have been celebrating my clear mammogram since October.

It feels pretty good to just be done with it, has anyone else experienced this?

BlueBelle Sat 09-Dec-23 19:43:43

Yep couldn’t have put it better I m content without
Never tried internet dating but the old fashioned type where you meet people one way or another
I ve had a much more peaceful life since going it alone

OldFrill Sat 09-Dec-23 19:49:17

After 15+ years happily single l was convinced l didn't want a permanent attachment. Then l met my now husband. Entirely amazing. Life winds an interesting path.

Lucyloo12 Sat 09-Dec-23 21:34:42

Hi Gigi1958, I could write a book about online dating lol. There is so much weirdness going on, men wanting carers, there are liars, cheats, men just wanting sex, men sending dick picks... no idea what that's all about! Young men pretending to be older and older trying to be younger! Men wanting money. I've heard it all.... I treat the whole thing as a game.... i called it 'spot the normal one', have managed a few dates where we just didn't click but have recently met someone and at last think I've met my match! Only taken several years... apparently god loves a trier!!! Best wishes.

MerylStreep Sat 09-Dec-23 21:40:30

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Callistemon21 Sat 09-Dec-23 22:22:08


BlueBelle Sat 09-Dec-23 22:26:28

Oh whoops ….so we are

Lucyloo12 Sat 09-Dec-23 23:08:35

Really, for goodness sake. Maybe they'll take a few notes from my write up!!

gigi1958 Sun 10-Dec-23 03:15:21

Is match nothing more than a chatbot? I met actual men however, I think a chatbot might have been more interesting!

BlueBelle Sun 10-Dec-23 04:33:51

Why would be telling us not to use it ????
What am I missing? 🤔

Juliet27 Sun 10-Dec-23 04:38:44

How can you tell it’s a Chatbot?

Juliet27 Sun 10-Dec-23 08:15:29

Seemed a genuine message from gigi1958 to me.

NotSpaghetti Sun 10-Dec-23 08:55:09

Me too Juliet27
Just shows how different people read things differently!
...and how we make assumptions based on nothing much.

If you are a bot I do hope you are from the Philippines gigil

Patsy70 Sun 10-Dec-23 09:30:20


Why would be telling us not to use it ????
What am I missing? 🤔

Sounded genuine to me too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Katie59 Sun 10-Dec-23 11:38:53

Seems a genuine comment, why put women off joining when women greatly outnumber men on senior dating sites.
You do need to treat it as a game, an adventure until you find a real prospect, it’s not difficult to identify the time wasters.

Gwyllt Sun 10-Dec-23 11:44:55

Blue bell. Irrelevant whether genuine or no I think in many of us is the urge to do what we are told not to ‼️

Happygirl79 Sun 10-Dec-23 11:54:07

I've been happily single and independent for the past 15 years and would never change it by choice. It's freedom for me after years of looking after others and putting their needs before my own. It's a revelation when you realise that you are enough.

gigi1958 Sun 10-Dec-23 13:04:52

Why would anyone think I am a chatbot, for the record I am not! I live in the U.S. in Virginia to be exact.
Hope that clears up anything I really am curious though what in my post would make someone think I'm a chatbot!

Margs Sun 10-Dec-23 13:34:36

Good on you, gigi1958! It's my opinion that the men who infest online dating sites are in two definite categories: 50% scammers and 50% man-babies who are too damn lazy to housekeep for themselves.

gigi1958 Sun 10-Dec-23 15:36:37

Thanks Margs, the needy ones just ended it for me, none of them added to my life just takers. I could just feel myself taking care of them and thought here we go again. And when I wanted to vent about something they were just emotionally unavailable, so what is the purpose of the relationship. Seems like healthy relationships you support each other and I only found ones that wanted me to support them.

BlueBelle Sun 10-Dec-23 16:06:05

I ve done all the relationship stuff and unluckily never found the one that didn’t cheat, beat or retreat so I m, if you like used to and learnt how to be reasonably happy, alone, its peaceful, its safer and it’s ok once you get used to it

gigi1958 Sun 10-Dec-23 17:43:43


I ve done all the relationship stuff and unluckily never found the one that didn’t cheat, beat or retreat so I m, if you like used to and learnt how to be reasonably happy, alone, its peaceful, its safer and it’s ok once you get used to it

BlueBelle, It feels really nice to just move ahead with my own life and my core happiness. But a few years ago I did have a guy that "got me" and it was a lot of fun, I wish I could have that back again! I did find one interesting thing while dating, men that were never married were more suited to me and my very independent nature.
But being alone beats being with someone that is not worth my time any day of the week.

CocoPops Sun 10-Dec-23 19:45:33

I've been on my own since widowed. I'm independent and happy with lots of interests. I was talking to a male friend who'd tried internet dating but after dates with 3 women because he said they were all too needy and just wanted to off load their problems on to him.

Tinker18 Mon 11-Dec-23 11:39:41

I could have written exactly the same as you OP! It was not that I wanted someone to look after me but I did want to meet someone who could look after himself, physically and financially. I realised it was taking too much of my time and emotional energy and gave up about 10 years ago and am much happier since then.

Dempie55 Mon 11-Dec-23 11:49:22

I'm 68, widowed for 3 years, and I would never, ever want another relationship with a man. It takes so long to develop trust with someone, and I just can't afford that much time! Also, considering the probable age of any suitor, there is the chance that they could develop dementia and I'm not prepared to spend my last years nursing some crazy old man. I'm happy on my own, find lots to do to keep busy and I love my cosy little home.