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Scams and fraud

My best scammer wind up to date.

(110 Posts)
vampirequeen Wed 07-Apr-21 12:45:38

Not the longest I've ever kept one on the phone but I definitely left this one confused and, fingers crossed, heading for Google.

17 mins on the phone with a cold caller/scammer explaining that I don't need life insurance because I'm immortal. She asked how old I was. I said about 4000 in Earth years. She started to ask me how, what I did etc. I told her I was a Watcher. She asked if it was a religion. I said no it is my job to watch the development of the human race. She wanted to know how many of us there were in the UK. I said around 110. She asked if there were watchers in every country. I said of course. We have to watch all over the world if we are to see how the human race develops. She asked if we met up. I told her that we didn't meet up. So she asked if we communicated and shared data. I said of course we did that in order to file our reports. She wanted to know what I looked like if I was 4000 years old. I said that I looked like a normal middle aged woman. I couldn't be in my normal form or I wouldn't fit in. She said she thought that maybe....yes only maybe lol...I was having her on and if I was real where did I come from. I told her from a planet in orbit around the star Sirius. If she googles it she'll find loads of information about ancient aliens from that star and watchers so she still won't know for sure 不不不不不不不

Tapdance6 Wed 07-Apr-21 12:53:12

Latest SCAM - Microsoft Windows. Virus alert comes up on computer/laptop. Gives lots of spiel and says it cost 瞿3 odd for them to get rid of the virus. Don't give them any bank details as they say they need these.

Sago Wed 07-Apr-21 13:59:06

Well done

Deedaa Wed 07-Apr-21 14:05:34

Vampirequeen Now I want to see the film! grin

janeainsworth Wed 07-Apr-21 14:07:09

vq I hope the call was recorded for training and staff amusement purposes 不

janeainsworth Wed 07-Apr-21 14:07:47

It might go viral 不

BridgetPark Wed 07-Apr-21 14:12:41

Well done Vampire Queen, these calls are so irritating. I have called I.D. so can usually tell if its friend or foe, but just occasionally i grab the phone without thinking. Then I just call them illegitimate but that i am a devout mormon, so i understand.....

lemsip Wed 07-Apr-21 14:15:11

and I always thought these callers have to make so many calls in a set time slot....cynical ole me.

Aveline Wed 07-Apr-21 14:31:33

Most of the calls I receive are from auto diallers with just a recoded speech. I just auto hang up. (Then block that number)

vampirequeen Wed 07-Apr-21 15:52:51

If I have a spare few minutes I can't resist winding them up. I figure that whilst I'm wasting their time they can't be scamming someone else. Also the call is costing money so the longer I can waste their time the more money they're wasting.

Judy54 Wed 07-Apr-21 16:40:41

Well done Vampirequeen. Usually I just put the phone down but on one occasion I had a call allegedly from a bank which was not the name of the bank that I use. It was the usual we believe their has been fraudulent activity on your account and we need to ask you some security questions. I said that is fine once you have answered my security questions. I asked what is the name of the account holder, they said can you confirm your name for me, my response that is incorrect. Next I asked what is the account number of the customer, again they said can you confirm that for me, incorrect answer was my reply. I ended the conversation by saying you have failed my security questions and then put the phone down.

muse Wed 07-Apr-21 16:52:07

Well done.

geekesse Wed 07-Apr-21 17:50:14

Caller: We have an offer of free life insurance for one month.
Me: How is that a good thing?
Caller: We will insure your life for 瞿100,000 for a month at no cost to you.
Me: Do you know something that I dont? Have you been talking to my doctor?
Caller: Not at all. We re just offering you a whole month of free life insurance.
Me: And how does that benefit me?
Caller: Were offering you a month of life insurance for free.
Me: But I only benefit from that if I die in the next month. So if this free insurance you are offering is going to benefit me, you must know I am going to die within a month. How do you know that? Where did you get the information?
Caller (getting worried): No, we dont know that you are going to die...
Me: But you think theres a good chance, because otherwise a month of life insurance isnt worth having. Whats wrong with me? How long have I got? Who told you?
Caller: No, please dont worry, we dont think you are going to die at all. Really, you wont die in the next month.
Me: Then you are trying to use something utterly worthless to con me into taking out your ridiculously expensive life insurance?
Caller: Erm, well, not exactly...(hangs up)

Septimia Wed 07-Apr-21 18:02:12

I once responded to the computer problem scam by asking 'Which computer?' After a bit of backwards-and-forwards-ing we established that there were 13 computers in the house. (That included DH's, DS's, broken ones....) The caller sighed and asked if he was calling a home or a business, at which point I took pity and hung up.

Bluebellwould Wed 07-Apr-21 18:04:29

Good stories, I got a call from Sky last week.
Caller : there is a problem with your broadband.
Me: I know.
Caller: we can check your connectivity. What do you have connected at the moment.
Me: television, washing machine, freezer, fridge, toaster and microwave.
Caller: no what is connected as we are receiving reports of poor connection.
Me: yes my washing machine is going slowly and it keeps stopping. Can you fix this please.
Caller: no you are not understanding, what is connected at this time.
Me: my fridge, washing machine, toaster, microwave oh I forgot the tumble drier.
Caller: no you are not understanding. Hangs up.
Later in day caller from Sky, male this time:
Caller: I am calling from Sky, you have a problem with your internet connection.
Me: oh good you called back, I spoke to your colleague earlier.
Caller: so you know what I am going to help you with.
Me: yes you are going to fix my washing machine.
Caller: you are wasting my f***ing time, you stupid woman.
And hangs up.
Best chat Ive had in ages.

SueDonim Wed 07-Apr-21 18:08:48

Love these scam responses! grin

vampirequeen Wed 07-Apr-21 20:15:33

I blocked the number but they phoned back later on a different number. Pretended to be a new call so I pointed out that I had spoken to her colleague earlier and explained why I didn't need life insurance. Did I need to explain again?. She couldn't get off the phone quick enough and said she'd remove my number from their list grin

Shinamae Wed 07-Apr-21 20:25:25

Well done ladies these are all hilarious!!!

SueDonim Wed 07-Apr-21 20:32:41

Tut tut, wasting scammers time, Vampirequeen!. gringrin

seacliff Wed 07-Apr-21 20:37:44

Some very amusing stories, well done. grin

Amberone Wed 07-Apr-21 21:07:28

Have laughed till I cried - thank you so much 不不不

I wish I had half of your imagination

fevertree Wed 07-Apr-21 21:52:40

I've had so many of these calls lately, including one on Easter Sunday. I let them talk for a bit and then say something like "If there's a problem with my broadband, then you must be a crook".

On a serious note, what I would like to know - given that the calls come from a UK mobile number to my mobile - why are these scammers not caught? Surely those numbers are traceable. Any ideas please?

vampirequeen Wed 07-Apr-21 22:21:22

Most scammers are not phoning from the UK but they set up a call diverting system so that the call appears to come from the UK. It's legal but costs them money.

Callistemon Wed 07-Apr-21 22:44:39

vampirequeen, geekesse, Bluebellwould I just read these out to DH, he really enjoyed them!

Marydoll Wed 07-Apr-21 23:08:00

Many of the scammers are based in Calcutta, India. Some even work from their own homes.
I love to read about the scammers being sophisticatedly scammed in reverse by clever IT specialists.
Their web cams are hacked, their faces shown, all their files deleted or even better, their computers having viruses installed remotely and rendered unusable.