The Gransnet page about Difficult daughter-in-law

I have been reading the following page

www.gransnet.com/relationships/daughter-in-law-relationship

I am male and have never, alas, been married. yet I wonder if I may mention a few things please.

The first thing I notice is that there is no date on the page. So I do not know if it appeared recently or has been there many years. I was trained years ago, always date your work. I think that applies whether it is science experiment notes as one proceeds or a poem or whatever.

As a site issue, how about adding to the

www.gransnet.com/info/acronyms

page DDiL and DMiL as the advice is treat them as belonging in the family, so why D for DH, DS, DD etc but not for DDiL and DMiL if she really does belong?

I note the advice of

> be interested in who she is and her family background,

Whoa! What if she is a decent girl and it is not her fault that her father is in prison. Why does her boyfriend's mother keep being nosey about her family and not treat her as a human being in her own right she might ask her mother or her female friend.

Don't comment about your son to her, neither brag about him nor criticise about him. Let her form her own opinion.

There is nothing about how you address each other. We had a thread about this. One lady who posted was upset that her daughter-in-law never addressed her by name. Is it up to the mother-in-law to take the lead on this? Is she Mum, Jane, Auntie Jane or what? The feelings of the Daughter-in-Law are important in this, she might not be happy to address her mother-in-law the same as her own mother, she might not feel happy about addressing her by her first name. With what is she happy?

> If you're meeting a prospective daughter-in-law, someone that your son may be very serious about, ...

I feel that any lady he introduces you to could potentially become the daughter-in-law, however tenuous or even impossible or even silly the idea might seem at the time.

"Oh, she's just one of the people in the same class at college, just a friend"

Well, maybe that is all it ever will be, but you never know, so bear that in mind as que sera sera!