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People who post on Facebook

(61 Posts)
Nooshboosh Sat 10-Sep-22 12:21:22

Do you think that people who post on FB showing how happy they are in their relationship are really trying to convince themselves and others that they are happy when they may not be? People who put photos of how happy they are, how amazing their partner is, what a fab time they are having, where they have been together, smily selfies of them as a couple, showing the perfect family - is it a cover up of people who feel they have something to prove? I hear that a lot from friends and colleagues but I am not so sure. I think if I was and I was in a fairly new relationship I would want to show it off to my friends. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I do however know of someone who I suspects posts a lot about her new- ish relationship as a way of letting his estranged wife that they are having a good time, I am friends with both of them. Another good friend posted idyllic pics of her and her husband all the time and then we found out there was violence in the marriage. I felt pretty bad for having joined in conversations with others at work making fun of all she used to put on. I'm sure not everyone who posts a lot pics of their wonderful life with their partner is really unhappy and covering something up. Is it not unfair to take the Mickey out of them if they want to do it?

InthebackofaFordAnglia Sat 10-Sep-22 12:34:19

Guilty as charged. Was until quite recently in a very unhappy relationship. Problem is I didnt know how sad and bad it was until it ended. He was a master gaslighter and I was in denial how he made me feel and the violence that I always made light of. I dont know why I did that. Putting things on social media about how amazing he was and how happy we were and what we were doing was certainly my way of pretending everything was fine.

Aveline Sat 10-Sep-22 12:38:05

You don't have to post anything personal or private on Facebook. I sometimes put up funny pictures that I find. I'm a member of various interest groups and enjoy the postings other members put up relevant to those interests. Facebook is what you make of it.

JaneJudge Sat 10-Sep-22 12:40:42

I have better things to do than make fun of people I presumably like. It is up to people what they post on facebook and if you are uncomfortable with viewing lots of photos it is okay to mute people too. Of course people filter the photographs they put on there but photos used to be filtered through before they made it into photograph albums so it is only the same.

I don't want to sound holier than thou but one good thing to come from google and social media is that it is now as simple as googling for support or help if you are in a domestically abusive situation and also there is more understanding and access available as to what is abuse.

mixnmatch Sat 10-Sep-22 12:42:11

Of course people who are properly happy post and there is nothing underlying. It isn't always the case though. My exes new GF flooded social media with pictures and stories of them both and I got the distance impression they were meant for me to see. She was very apt at tagging mutual friends on FB so I could not help but seee them. I found it highly amusing because I know him so well. A serial cheat and liar who will never change. She should have saved her energy and as it was I felt sorry for her. It is wrong to make fun of people who put such trivia on line. If it serves a purpose to them leave them alone and give them some understanding

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 10-Sep-22 12:50:25

I have never understood why people have to post their every move on FB.

Georgesgran Sat 10-Sep-22 12:59:51

Me neither GSM.
I sometimes think I’m in a parallel universe!

welbeck Sat 10-Sep-22 13:06:13

i don't understand it at all. reminds me of those boasting round robin letters at xmas. ridiculous.

Nannylovesshopping Sat 10-Sep-22 13:07:20

I am not on Facebook, a couple of friends who are said they had seen comments on Facebook, asking if I were dead as nobody had seen me on the site! ??

JaneJudge Sat 10-Sep-22 13:08:24

I have a friend who posts quite a lot of photos of meals out etc but her children have a life limited conditions and maybe she has a need to look back on stuff. I don't know if other people on her facebook even know, so maybe we all need to be a bit more tolerant. You have the option of turning off/muting, it is your choice.

Elizabeth27 Sat 10-Sep-22 13:17:30

Do you feel the same about people on here that post about a good holiday or family achievements or proudly show pictures of their garden or craftwork.

I don't think social media is for you, unless you can find a platform that is mostly negative.

nanna8 Sat 10-Sep-22 13:37:15

For me it is absolutely the only contact I have with some family and school friends who live overseas. I never put much personal stuff on because I don’t trust it, just general things about holidays, days out, what we are doing etc. It is good for history,too - lots of very old pics of some of the places where my ancestors lived.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 10-Sep-22 13:49:02

Same here Nanna8, it keeps me touch with friends I made in Asia and when travelling, also have a few ex students asking for help with what does this mean stuff.. I belong to a few groups, history group, a sewing group and womens cycling and I love it

Esspee Sat 10-Sep-22 14:08:07

I have no interest in advertising my life on Facebook ànd question the maturity of those who do.
Surely getting photos and messages by email or WhatsApp is far preferable to generic postings on Facebook?

mumski Sat 10-Sep-22 14:43:05

For me Facebook has become a bit 'smug couples boasting' since my DH died 3 years ago. All the concerts, holidays etc they go to as a couple. Glad they are happy, but sometimes when I'm down it emphasises all they things myself and my DH will no longer be able to do.

Greenfinch Sat 10-Sep-22 14:55:34

Elizabeth27 I think the difference is that we usually know our contacts on Facebook in real life and are aware that their life is not as rosy as they make out. That is one of the reasons I closed my account. On here our friends are mainly virtual and and there is no evidence to dispute what they say. I for one love to see pictures of their beautiful gardens and hear about the successes of their family members. I don’t consider it boasting.

BlueBelle Sat 10-Sep-22 14:58:44

Some people just always have to put down something they don’t indulge in or understand
I post on Fb for each of my children grandchildren or close friends birthday/Cxxxxxxxx sometime with photos
If I take an interesting photo on my travels I ll put that on sometimes when I m swimming in a group we get a photo taken or if there’s a festival or special occasion
No one has to look if they don’t want to it’s only for close friends and family any way
There’s plenty of people on here tell us about a wonderful trip an concert or theatre visit or their new kitchen or a new dress

Why would it bother you pass on by if you don’t like to see these things it’s just a way of keeping in touch

Barmeyoldbat Sat 10-Sep-22 15:02:05

Esspee I find your comment questioning the maturity of Facebook users offensive, on Facebook you can narrow down the receivers to just one person if you want, it doesn’t have to be open for the whole world to see. Also we are not all posting about our so called happy lives, most of us are just keeping in touch. By the way I am now 75 and consider myself mature

AGAA4 Sat 10-Sep-22 15:28:11

FB is not for me but I know it is very popular. I do enjoy seeing photos on GN and hearing good news from other posters. It's all about personal choice.

icanhandthemback Sat 10-Sep-22 15:36:03

I try to only put positive things on Facebook as a general rule because I don't think it is the place to have a good moan. If I have something negative to say, I tend to say it in person so my friends and family know what I am going through but can see I am alright. My page is mostly so I can keep in touch with family and friends with photos or announcements.

icanhandthemback Sat 10-Sep-22 15:39:15


I have no interest in advertising my life on Facebook ànd question the maturity of those who do.
Surely getting photos and messages by email or WhatsApp is far preferable to generic postings on Facebook?

Really? You don't think that some people might have got into the rhythm of posting their photos to family and friends before WhatsApp arrived on the scene and that not everybody has the ability to send a load of photos to various people? What a very derogatory view of people who do post on FB.

Blondiescot Sat 10-Sep-22 15:54:44


I have no interest in advertising my life on Facebook ànd question the maturity of those who do.
Surely getting photos and messages by email or WhatsApp is far preferable to generic postings on Facebook?

On the contrary, it can be an absolute lifeline for some people. I'm a member of a group for people who suffer from the same medical condition as I do, for instance - and it's been a life changer for me, as it helped me find a way to manage and live with my condition when the medical profession couldn't. I keep in touch with old friends and workmates and found it especially helpful during lockdown when we couldn't meet others in person. If you have no interest in social media, that's fine - it's not compulsory - but for some people, it can literally be a life saver. I have a friend who is bipolar and often finds herself unable to leave the house because of her depression and anxiety - but by keeping with touch with others via social media, she can gradually build herself up to the point where she is able to face the outside world again. Social media has its bad points, there's no doubt about that - but it can be a force for good too.

AmberSpyglass Sat 10-Sep-22 16:15:04

You do realise that people can still enjoy life and post pictures and updates even if their life isn’t 100% perfect all the time, don’t you?

kircubbin2000 Sat 10-Sep-22 21:58:03

A lot of people don't seem to realise that the whole world can see their posts.One of my friends regularly posts things like Happy Birthday Mary, hope to see you next week etc,which Mary may never read.
Another posted how she had seen the local doctor dining in a local restaurant and passed on some quite personal info about him. She is no longer on Facebook and I wonder did he take action about what she had said.

Nandalot Sat 10-Sep-22 22:23:25

It depends how your privacy settings are set, kircubbin2000. Mine are set so that only my small group of Facebook friends can see.
As mentioned upthread, it is a lovely way to see photos of my family abroad. I don’t have WhatsApp.