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DH doesn't want to take holiday

(49 Posts)
overthehill Mon 11-Feb-19 15:07:18

I love my DH and he has many virtues. However, when it comes to taking a holiday abroad each year he doesn't want to go.

We do go as I push for it and he finally agrees. He doesn't like flying anymore so we've been on a couple of cruises and rail trips to Spain.

His initial reaction is always "I don't want to go". I do point out it's not all about him, but he manages to make me feel guilty for suggesting such a thing. When he gets there he always enjoys it.

Basically he's a tight wad and hates spending the money. We can afford it but he thinks it a waste of money.

We do have a caravan and go away a lot in that and he's happy to go on coach trips in the UK but I do like one week abroad a year.

Anyone else have the same experience?

Stansgran Mon 11-Feb-19 15:15:08

I'm the other way round. I am so focused on getting my knee bending at 90degrees I don't want to do anything until I've been discharged. DH is desperate for a holiday and is getting cabin fever. Is your DH well covered with insurance and in good health?

overthehill Mon 11-Feb-19 15:20:51

Stansgran....Yes he's always been the same

Anja Mon 11-Feb-19 15:43:50

Holidays are over-rated. I’d rather stay at home and enjoy the comforts I have here.

I do drag myself away occasionally but am always glad to get back.

tanith Mon 11-Feb-19 15:45:00

Have you considered going on your own or with a friend or family. When DH was alive he never flew so I would either go with my daughter and GC or fly out to spend time with my son and family. How would your DH feel about it? Or you for that matter?

KatyK Mon 11-Feb-19 15:45:33

I'm not bothered about going on holiday but my DH loves going. Saying that, we've been to some fabulous places so I am grateful. If it was up to me we'd never have seen any of them!

Greyduster Mon 11-Feb-19 15:52:00

I’m afraid my DH won’t go abroad any more. He is happy to jump in the car and go anywhere in this country that I care to suggest. I’ve resigned myself to it now, but not happily.

Floradora9 Mon 11-Feb-19 15:56:08

Oh no Anja holidays are wonderful . I like to go abroad several times and year and would be miserable if I could not go . We go twice a year to the same hotel and even get the same room but also go to newer places as well . I have always loved going on holiday from as far back as I remember .

Nonnie Mon 11-Feb-19 16:02:17

I'm another who loves holidays, sightseeing or lying on a sun bed. I think DH is in the habit of not wanting to go but always capitulates eventually and loves it when we are there. He is also prone to boring everyone talking about it non-stop when we have been. Experience has taught me not to let him get too involved in the research or booking, he does it all on price and nothing else. Two were two too many.

petra Mon 11-Feb-19 17:53:36

I just say to OH do you fancy so and so. He says "sort it out then"

jeanie99 Sat 16-Feb-19 23:03:24

My husband would never think of arranging a holiday but he's very happy for me to do the researching.
I do believe he would not have travelled to any other country if it wasn't for me he just doesn't have the sense of adventure that I have.
There is little you can do really other than talk him into it.

I remember many years ago when a great friend of ours was having cancer treatment he said when I get better we're going to start going away for long weekends like you two do. He never did he died that week.
Life can be short if you want to do anything do it now don't look back with regrets.

FountainPen Sat 16-Feb-19 23:14:47

Go on your own. I have met many, many people who have been taking a holiday separate from their partners simply because they didn't enjoy the same kind of thing, walking holidays especially.

Jalima1108 Sat 16-Feb-19 23:21:10

petra DH is happy to go anywhere as long as I sort it all out.

How I wish that he would sometimes take the initiative and book something!

paddyann Sun 17-Feb-19 00:12:10

If he's been going despite not wanting to then surely you should compromise and let him saty at home as he wishes.Relationships shouldn't be one sided surely .You've had your way now let him have his .
Easy for me ,we've never really been into holidays ,only had a few in our 40 odd years together and never felt we missed out on anything .

annep1 Sun 17-Feb-19 00:37:36

I think perhaps Paddyann is right and I really must take this on board too. My husband doesn't like going abroad now and I persuade him to go. I think I should stop. It isn't fair really. I can go without him. He's willing to go anywhere in Britain and we have a caravan in a lovely area. Perhaps you could go alone or with a friend or group Overthehill.)

MissAdventure Sun 17-Feb-19 02:46:41

Yes, I tend to agree with paddy too...

SueH49 Sun 17-Feb-19 04:31:02

My OH is the same. He is happy playing in his shed but when it comes to overseas holidays it is a struggle to get him to agree to anything. We do both have health issues which makes it harder but by no means impossible. Living in Australia wherever we go overseas is a long way and long haul flying is not for the feint hearted. Having said that OH has enjoyed all the trips we have done. I would like to do 2 more overseas trips before restricting our travels to exploring more of Australia and both are cheaper than the trips we want to do within Australia.

BlueBelle Sun 17-Feb-19 06:00:55

Well if he’s never been keen, but done it for you over the years surely it’s tine to give him a break and go with someone else, a family member, a friend or even alone if that doesn’t bother you
I have been on holiday alone it’s ok but now I think why pay all that money out to just sit on my own I may as well stay and do things here
I find travelling abroad not so attractive now with busy airports, cancelled planes, rushing, changes etc etc and what used to be an adventure is a worry now
Each do what makes you goth happy life is very short now

BlueBelle Sun 17-Feb-19 06:01:11

Both not goth

annep1 Sun 17-Feb-19 06:23:07

My husband feels the same as Bluebelle. It's not fair to make a partner do something they aren't happy with. We haven't been abroad for 3 years but I've been trying to persuade him. Oh well, time to give up and give him a break!

Sunlover Sun 17-Feb-19 07:54:13

I love going away on holiday. Hubby and I holiday together 2/3 times a year. I also holiday a 2/3 times a year with friends or my daughters and hubby goes on a couple of golfing trips.
I realise as we get older or health issues raise their ugly heads that holidaying may become restricted so I'm going to make the most of this time.

Liz46 Sun 17-Feb-19 08:08:33

We are going to Cuba in a fews days and also have booked three weeks in India over Christmas and New Year.

Insurance has become a bit of a problem for me due to health issues but I have managed to get some.

sodapop Sun 17-Feb-19 08:34:41

Well good for you Liz46

I agree with BlueBelle your husband has done his bit going abroad in the past, now it's time to compromise. You can go on holiday together in the UK then maybe you can go abroad with family or friends. I hate all the hassle at airports as well.

Jobey68 Sun 17-Feb-19 08:45:04

Fortunately we both love holidays and go abroad as often as we can smile off to Cyprus next month grin
Hubby is also converting bus in to a motor home so plenty of UK weekenders for us to come too!
Its a shared passion thank goodness and the only time DH is happy to spend without question so I run with it grin

Pittcity Sun 17-Feb-19 08:46:55

If it's just money, it's often cheaper to go abroad than to stay in the UK.