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Widowed, christmas and comfort zones

(73 Posts)
craftyone Mon 17-Jun-19 18:42:02

This year will be the 4th christmas since I was widowed. I am not enjoying the long and tedious christmas break these days. The children do their bit and rotate to take me in but I feel ready now to spread my wings and to go on holiday at christmas. I want to give my AC space to do what they want and I certainly don`t want to be a burden. I have never been a confident traveller, only had one holiday since widowed, a saga cruise, which cost me an arm and a leg

I know I will be out of my comfort zone and am ready to take that leap but don`t know where to start. Any advice is welcome.

midgey Mon 17-Jun-19 18:45:23

What about volunteering? I have heard that it can be great fun and thoroughly rewarding.

Calendargirl Mon 17-Jun-19 18:58:54

What about a coach holiday at Christmas? You wouldn’t have to worry about anything after getting on your feeder coach. Meals, excursions and company all to hand, and not too expensive hopefully.

BlueBelle Mon 17-Jun-19 19:01:52

Do we have to have Christmas threads when we haven’t even had summer yet, this is the second one

Niobe Mon 17-Jun-19 19:34:11

Blue Belle, the title told you what the thread was about. If you don't want to hear about Christmas don't read the thread. Craftyone's dilemma is shared by many widows and she is asking for support and ideas.

Alima Mon 17-Jun-19 19:56:02

Then we will need ten more before Christmas BlueBelle! You must have heard about the 12 Threads of Christmas? Anyway, back to Craftyone’s question. Though I haven’t been on one I have heard good things about Saga Solo holidays. Think they are called that. For solo travellers as opposed to singles. Or coach holidays for solo travellers. How about a special interest holiday, something like walking across the Dolomites without a turkey in sight. Do hope you find something that appeals to you,

MawBroonsback Mon 17-Jun-19 20:18:00

We do try not to use the “C” word before at least September Craftyone
Sufficient unto the day etc etc

MawBroonsback Mon 17-Jun-19 20:19:32

The Twelve Threads of Christmas! tchgrintchgrintchgrin

mumofmadboys Mon 17-Jun-19 20:29:07

If Craftyone is thinking of doing something else for Christmas then well done to her! Of course it will need some planning. If others don't want to think about Christmas that is fine. Just avoid threads with Christmas in the title! I think HF holidays do Christmas breaks and their holidays are always good value for money and well organised. A lot of singles go on those. Wish you well

SueDonim Mon 17-Jun-19 20:38:29

If the OP wants to go away for Christmas she needs to be thinking about it now, before everywhere is booked up, so I think the thread can be justified. And someone has to be the first! grin

I hope you find something you like, Craftyone

52bright Mon 17-Jun-19 20:39:31

I think that if Craftyone is worried about this now its ok for those who wish to and are able to support and advise her. As a previous poster has said need for those who don't wish to consider Christmas yet to engage. I personally have no wish to consider Christmas yet but no need to close down threads for those who are concerned this early.
It is a dilemma for many Craftyone. The only thing I can come up with is the possibility of a like minded friend who is also alone going on a small break with you. Of course I do realize that if this was a possibility you probably wouldn't be posting on here. However I do know that sometimes people keep their anxieties to themselves in RL for fear of becoming a burden and later discover that others would have been willing to join them if only they had know. My best wishes. Hopefully others will be along soon with better ideas or advice.

seacliff Mon 17-Jun-19 20:50:45

A friend of mine enjoys HF holidays. These are over the festive period, and some are for solo travellers. Not sure if this would suit you

Or this company offer holidays abroad for solo older people and they have a forum where you can chat to others before you go. Might be worth a look.

leyla Mon 17-Jun-19 21:01:49

You definitely need to book sooner rather than later so of course you need the advice now! (Don't take any notice of the posters moaning about having a Christmas thread)

I would choose something like a singles holiday or escorted tour but I don't know any companies to advise. I shall read any suggestions on here with interest. I hope that you do decide to take the plunge and that you have a wonderful time.

craftyone Tue 18-Jun-19 06:27:14

Thank you to the supporters and helpers, some people have no clue about helping and supporting others but it is probably understandable if they have not been widowed, yet.

The obvious reason for asking about christmas early is planning and needing to book. I am now thinking of a coach holiday, maybe only in the uk but it will break me in. My saga cruise cost me almost £5000 that november but it was not too long after husband died so I was not bothered about spending money at that time. It was only the canary isles and 3 days of horrible nausea. I was well looked after but overall did not like it

I looked at some holidays online last night, even the solo holidays were much more expensive for singles. The best value is coach at around £500-£700. Cruises are still £5000+ with saga for a single. Gold coach will give me home pick up which is enticing. I am still researching and am grateful for suggestions, which I am looking at

craftyone Tue 18-Jun-19 06:29:31

oh HF looks excellent, love the activities

Anja Tue 18-Jun-19 07:10:42

Yes, I think you should go somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Enjoy the planning 👍🏽

Riverwalk Tue 18-Jun-19 07:12:50

I'm usually an independent traveller but every year go with my best friend on a trip with Riviera Travel so can vouch for their excellence, and they're such good value.

They do trips for solo travellers with no single supplement and your own room.


MawBroonsback Tue 18-Jun-19 07:17:56

Thank you to the supporters and helpers, some people have no clue about helping and supporting others but it is probably understandable if they have not been widowed yet

Sorry if my little pome offended !

mosaicwarts Tue 18-Jun-19 08:08:57

Hello craftyone, I'll be looking too for next year, thanks for starting the thread. Some of the widows on WU have been on Just You holidays and say they were well organised and value for money. Here's the festive link -

Enjoy choosing! We went to India with Riviera Travel and they do fantastic solo tours, but so expensive. I'm hoping to have sold the house by next Christmas and am going to splash out on NZ.

Missfoodlove Tue 18-Jun-19 09:45:19

I really admire you.
Your AC are fortunate to have such a considerate mother.
Have you thought that your children may actually be disappointed if you were to go away?
I would discuss it with them first.

Teacheranne Tue 18-Jun-19 10:19:26

I am also a single traveller ( although do spend Christmas with my family) and am often shocked by the price. I looked at a cruise to Norway with Saga this year and found that the single cabin was exactly the same price as a twin room for two - but was smaller, with a single bed and located in a noisy area next to the stairs and lifts, with a restricted view! What a rip off!

I also dislike flying and have limited mobility - hence I've not had a holiday for three years!

I've been away previously on singles holidays with Just You, Solos, Saga, Jules Verne and Titan. The trouble with some coach holidays is that most people are quite a bit older than me, the last one I went on to Germany, I was the youngest at 59 and found that everyone went to bed straight after the meal leaving me with no company after 9pm!

I'd love some new suggestions.

craftyone Tue 18-Jun-19 10:56:12

The ideas coming forward are really good, thank you for that. I hate flying ever since I felt very rough coming home from malaysia, blue toes etc.

There was a lot of bronchial coughing coming from cabins on my only cruise and I caught a nasty bronchial cough which lasted for weeks after I came home. Dh caught a very nasty bronchitis when we flew saga to malta, spent the whole holiday in the room, most we did was sit on the balcony. Some were taken to hospital with this bug. Saga keep these thing quiet. Puts me off, they use the same pillows, just clean pillowcases

re christmas yes, we have a gathering about that date but I remember how I longed for a family christmas when in their position with no extra catering. I give them that space now, so they can de-stress from their very stressful professional jobs

MawBroonsback Tue 18-Jun-19 11:00:30

some people have no clue about helping and supporting others but it is probably understandable if they have not been widowed, yet
Sorry if I am being picky, but it is not necessary to have been widowed to understand how others feel, there are other reasons for being on one’s own.
And why the inclusion of yet - very pessimistic, it seems.

Blinko Tue 18-Jun-19 11:00:46

Um....I think you may find that most places use the same pillows hmm.

Mapleleaf Tue 18-Jun-19 11:02:26

The thing is, Bluebelle, the type of holiday craftyone chooses may need booking several months in advance.
Yes, she mentions Christmas, but it’s pertinent to her post and she is asking us for advice. A little compassion and understanding goes along way.
Craftyone, there have been some good suggestions, and I hope you find them useful. Perhaps a coach trip in the UK for starters?
Good luck.