Things I learnt on my first cruise

All reasons why I would never go on a cruise.

Can I add
You queue to get off the boat every time you stop and
You are searched very time you get back on (supposedly to prevent terrorism but actually to stop you bringing on cheap booze!)

You mean its really like being in prison, but with better, more expensive food.

It never really has grabbed me and your post really tells it as is

Oh and although the brochure said Free wi - Fi it was only to get onto the cruise website and see your bill- otherwise it was $100 for 90 minutes!

We didn't queue to get off only the last day as they didn't stagger it enough and think to let wheelchair users off first and we weren't searched for alcohol but they did scan bags the same as at airports. They don't let you bring alcohol on but I bet some regulars know how to get round that one.

The plus points of course are the Gold Star service, excellent standards of cleanliness and hygiene, the food was excellent although very much geared to American tastes so almost impossible to maintain a healthy diet, clean towels and sheets daily and a very friendly helpful crew.

That's why we go with Saga.
Small boats and....EVERYTHING included. Also smaller boats mean smaller ports so you can just get off and do your own thing if you don't want to go on the excellent excursions.
People do dress up....yet somehow no one is grand or pompous...and the menu is always extra special (pretty darn good anyway)
The Saga boats have quiet spots where you can sit and read a book - the only interruption will be a friendly waiter offering a drink once in a while.

tbh always been put off by

outbreaks of norovirus

environmental impact

living in exotic country and seeing passengers ripped off for artefacts and getting no feel at all for the countrt or it's culture

so not going on one soon!

I think you were unlucky with a couple of your points.
1 Some itineraries take in an overnight moring.
2 Gala evenings and the dress code depend on the ship.
3 I'm not a vetran cruiser but we've usually been given X amount on board spend as part of our deal, which covers our drinks bill (not big drinkers)
4 AC too cold, bloody annoying but not something I've come across.
5 I've never used the salon.
It's not to everyones taste, sorry didn't enjoy it more Teetime

We cruise often, only river cruises. There are only 150 to 200 people, no long queues, free wifi, free excursions, no dressing up, a tipping scheme that makes sense, individual room air con. Drinks include wines and beers at lunch and dinner, available spirits card.

Very interesting all of you - Thank you!

Norah Like the sounds of all those features, do you usually go with same river cruise company? Just wondering if they are pretty much the same, or some better than others. Never been on a river cruise. Years ago tried a cruise and hated it - dressing up - expensive trips - masses of people everywhere etc etc.

We have used 3 sorts (I recall) but Viking is our favourite for the reasons I listed. Especially we like that we don't ever have to dress for dinner, very casual cruise. We like their tipping scheme envelopes, the food, and the service. There is no hair salon, they will do laundry, and we have usually overnight a few nights. Brilliant.

On Viking River Cruises there are optional adventures, usually daily. I check internet prices with local providers before we leave home. If we are interested, we usually taxi to our own tour, rather than go on their optionals as they are quite highly priced. Usually we are happy with the free VRC offerings.

Thank you Norah, very helpful! It sounds amazing.

I've just got home from a cruise down the Dalmatian coast. I think the answer is to do your research and join cruise critic. We don't go on cruises for cruising sake but to see places on our bucket list. We don't like being organised in groups so rarely go on tours unless offered for free.
The ship we were on was a brand new effort and we felt at times we should have had guinea pig badges made because although the crew were experienced they were still unwrapping the boat as it were- the sun deck stuff and a lot of the linen was still being sorted. It was very luxurious- marble bathrooms and linen with embroidery. Free wifi and coffee and tea available and soft drinks at all times. It was a bit blingy for my taste. Only cabins for 30 but only 17 on board and mainly Australians very casual and friendly. When things went wrong i.e. They arrived in Dubrovnik 2 hours late so all drinks that night were free and again there was a power cut at 3 am and alarms went off so again the next day all drinks were on the owner. I didn't think this was a wise move on his part given the capacity of one or two Ozzies. We docked overnight every night and so could on the whole dine in port.
I've been on Cunard and Fred Olsen and voyages of antiquity and noble Caledonia which is now defunct and I think I liked the voyages of antiquity ambiance best

Have cruised many times and never had a bad one. I like to do my own thing.
Cruising is great for single passengers as everyone is friendly and you feel safe.
Looking forward to my next one in October.

I've been on one with Holland America and found it was ver much geared to spend, spend spend. Even the entertainment was linked into some kind of purchasing.
Saga much better value but everyone is so old!

Can't stand those huge cruise ships which look like floating tower blocks. If you are staying somewhere like Madeira and 4 of them are in town the place is heaving and really unpleasant.

Yes. Don't damn all cruising based on this one experience. Cruise companies are not always the same.
We're booked for a Viking Ocean cruise. A much smaller boat. All alcohol, excursions and gratuities included. A choice of 9 places to eat and all at no extra cost. I think Viking did their homework and checked what UK passengers really looked for.
Cruisecritic website is the place to go for reviews and forums.

Thanks for the information teetime. You seem to confirm the reasons why DH and I wouldn't go on a cruise.
We're more the 'open road' types.

Yes J52 I think we are so we are off on a road trip to Northumbria, Scotland, Cumbria and North Yorkshire in September for a couple of weeks under our own steam can't wait.
I am considering a river cruise next year with Viking.

We like Viking too, so much so that we've booked their Viking Homelands cruise for next year. It will be a larger ship than the river cruise ones so will see how we feel about that.

So far, everything has been very good. The food is delicious, the rooms comfortable, the crew helpful and the majority of the passengers are pleasant! (A Texan was disowned by an American from another state, saying " We're not all like that!"

Casual dress during the day and perhaps a little smarter for dinner if you like.

We have really enjoyed the couple we have done, hence the treat next year.

Hope Noble Caledonian isn't defunct stansgran !
We've booked to go on a cruise round the Hebrides with them, next May.

We've had several lovely cruises through Thomson. There ships are generally smaller and we found the staff on each one to be really friendly and efficient. Our first cruise went from Majorca and took in Rome, Sorrento, Barcelona, Minorca, Sicily... to mention just some great stops. Thomson are also usually quite good with all inclusive offers. I absolutely agree that you need to do a lot of research to get the right itinerary and the right ship for you. It's a lot of money to spend. You can ask lots of questions on the forums on Cruise Critic and you'll always get helpful replies from other cruises. We're soon off on a cruise from Quebec to New York and I have spent time looking at the ports of call in Canada and New England. Fair enough if it's not for you but we never thought it would be for us and now we love cruising.

I love cruises. The big luxurious ships. Excellent service. Dressing up ( ebay is great for an evening dress) love it all.