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Would you want your body to be returned home?

(52 Posts)
Fleurpepper Mon 08-Aug-22 21:42:18

We never know what is ahead of us, and why or when or where?

I have made it clear to my OH and ACs and GCs that should I meet my Maker abroad, I would not wish for my body to be returned, and especially not flown back. thankfully they agree.

I will be buried where I fall. What about you?

Fleurpepper Mon 08-Aug-22 21:50:14

Follow on from Travel Insurance thread.

17K??? much rather give it to GCs and charity.

HowVeryDareYou Mon 08-Aug-22 21:54:21

No. My body is going to medical science, anyway

avitorl Mon 08-Aug-22 21:59:37

My belief is that when I'm gone,I'm gone, I don't care where my body will be.
I suppose it is only important if it means a lot to those who are left behind where a body goes to after death.

Blossoming Mon 08-Aug-22 22:02:50

I will be buried in a bluebell wood in a place I love. I don’t expect to go abroad ever again so the question of being returned won’t arise.

SueDonim Mon 08-Aug-22 22:04:28

A sensitive topic for me as a friend recently died suddenly and shockingly in the US, whilst working. The body was repatriated although I imagine his employers paid for that.

I can understand that his family wanted him home, tbh.

Lucca Mon 08-Aug-22 22:05:19

Agree OP. Don’t fly my body home. Just have a “leaving party” back home . It sure I’m having a funeral per se anyway.

grannyticktock Mon 08-Aug-22 22:50:09

I have never really thought about this, but I don't like the idea of the most expensive journey I ever make being the one after I die. Is it possible to be cremated abroad and just have the ashes sent back to your relatives? I'm sure my family wouldn't want my whole remains returned to them in a coffin.

Mandrake Mon 08-Aug-22 23:50:19

I want my family to do whatever brings them the most comfort.

Baggytrazzas Mon 08-Aug-22 23:56:09

Does anyone know why it costs as much?

Mandrake Tue 09-Aug-22 00:08:45

Baggytrazzas

Does anyone know why it costs as much?

You have to be prepared for transport, flown back and handled under special conditions, transported and handled at the other end. It all adds up.

SueDonim Tue 09-Aug-22 00:46:53

Baggytrazzas

Does anyone know why it costs as much?

To judge from what happened with my friend, it is a massively difficult administrative nightmare when someone dies abroad. There are all sorts of hoops to be jumped through at the other end in a system family are not familiar with. It’s not helped by the UK end making things v awkward. They can’t seem to cope with anything out of the ordinary.

It adds to what is already a distressing and painful time and it’s worth remembering that funerals are for the living, not the dead.

Teacheranne Tue 09-Aug-22 01:26:41

My father died while on holiday in France and the insurance paid for his body to be brought home for cremation. Unfortunately, his body was not kept in cold storage and there was no post mortem in France so we have no cause of death. His death certificate, in French, just says Mort in the section for cause!

My mother also had to be repatriated as she had no money, the travellers cheques and only credit card were in Dads name so the British Embassy in Geneva lent her some money.

I think I would want to be cremated abroad and my ashes returned here, if my children want that. In reality, they can do what they want as I won’t know! The four weeks we waited for my fathers body to be returned were probably the worst four weeks of my life and I don’t want to put my children through that.

Calendargirl Tue 09-Aug-22 06:37:17

If I were to die when abroad, I would want a quiet cremation there, and my ashes brought home. The same for DH.

Razzamatazz Tue 09-Aug-22 07:06:17

My friend's stepson died in Poland over the Christmas period and she had an appalling time trying to have his body repatriated. When he arrived she also had the distress of the coroner wanting to post mortem, but he'd been embalmed. I'm not sure how she got through it, her partner was in such deep shock he was unable to help at all.

sodapop Tue 09-Aug-22 13:04:20

I read the very sad story of the lady who died on the plane next to her children, was that what prompted your question Fleurpepper.
I would want to be cremated where I died, the cost of repatriation is too much unless covered by insurance.

snowberryZ Tue 09-Aug-22 13:12:19

Baggytrazzas

Does anyone know why it costs as much?

They have to remove the heart, lungs, brain and various other organs.
It's all to do with preventing diseases going from from one country to another.
So, even if you get flown back home, half of you will be missing.
Far better to get cremated and have the ashes flown back.

Farzanah Tue 09-Aug-22 13:31:05

Are you certain about this snowberryZ? There may have to be a post mortem but I think different countries have different regs?

Smileless2012 Tue 09-Aug-22 13:34:55

I want to be cremated and wouldn't be bothered about my ashes being returned home but I guess if that's what family wanted it would be easier.

snowberryZ Tue 09-Aug-22 13:36:53

Farzanah

Are you certain about this snowberryZ? There may have to be a post mortem but I think different countries have different regs?

I think it depends which country its coming from.

Septimia Tue 09-Aug-22 13:37:55

I want to be buried in our local churchyard so would, in theory, want my body brought home. However, it sounds as if that would be complicated, so cremation and ashes returned in the event of dying abroad seems sensible.

The obvious - but not necessarily practical - answer is not to travel overseas! grin

MerylStreep Tue 09-Aug-22 13:50:28

Here’s a different take on what to with a love one’s ashes.
It’s not morbid, it’s a love story 🙂

eu.usatoday.com/story/dispatches/2013/07/26/message-in-a-bottle-found-beach-gordon-scott-skinny-smith/2584299/

Fleurpepper Tue 09-Aug-22 13:59:33

What surprises me, is that couples, next of kin, close family- never discuss this kind of thing. I asked my very elderly parents what they wanted to do on their demise, and they were happy to tell me. Mum wanted to be buried, and did NOT want any formal stone, and absolutely NO marble. Dad wanted to be cremated and his ashes put in with her.

My 'lot' know what I want, no repatriation, if I die abroad, and no repatriation of ashes either. What is the point? What would my ashes have to do with who I am??? I find it all bizarre and morbid. My insurance would cover cost, but I just would not want it.

Fleurpepper Tue 09-Aug-22 14:00:57

Even ashes have to be sealed and have official stamp and paperwork, depending where you live.

Farzanah Tue 09-Aug-22 16:28:56

what would my ashes have to do with who I am.
I completely agree Fleur but I suppose it’s what a person’s beliefs and wishes (if known) are.
I believe that once you’re dead there’s just a shell left and don’t want my family having to deal with my body or have to have a pot of my ashes hanging around, but appreciate not everyone feels the same.
If I go abroad will let them know 😀