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Long Lost Family: Born Without Trace.

(61 Posts)
Calendargirl Tue 02-Jun-20 10:45:10

Watched the first part of this last night. Quite moving, hearing the stories of ‘foundlings’ who had spent much of their adult life trying to discover their roots. The name itself sounds positively Dickensian.

I won’t comment on how last night’s episode ended in case it hasn’t been watched yet.

paddyanne Tue 02-Jun-20 10:57:19

you should get Mary Gaulthiers CD called Foundling .Its a personal account of her life as a foundling.Theres a song in it that says she has Nobody's face and nobody's name which is something I hadn't thought of before I bought the album.Theres also one where she found her birth mother and called her,to be told she couldn't acknowledge her as none of her family knew Mary existed.Its heartbreaking .Rejected twice .I watched last nights programme and yes I cried ,you wonder how any mother can walk away form a baby .

mrsgreenfingers56 Tue 02-Jun-20 10:57:19

I watched and had me weeping, my heart went out to the 'foundlings'. So very sad and somehow I always think of these unmarried mothers who gave their babies up. Think I would have put a wedding ring on, said I was a widow and kept my child and moved to a different part of the country. But life isn't always that simple and may not have had the support emotionally or financially from the father. A similar thing happened in my family and I have felt anger at times at this was the outcome to my relative and she felt total rejection and with maturity I now understand the quirks of her personality. A mother's love is everything to a child.
Thank goodness it doesn't matter anymore if you are married or not, or one is a Catholic or Protestant but life wasn't the same back then and ideas were so very different.

Calendargirl Tue 02-Jun-20 11:02:29

That’s sad Paddyanne

‘Nobody’s face’ and ‘Nobody’s name’.

You cannot imagine feeling that when you see family members, and know who you look like, and see family mannerisms.

gillybob Tue 02-Jun-20 11:56:55

Didn’t realise there was a dedicated thread to LLF so posted on the TV thread initially .

I couldn’t help but feel a kind of hatred towards their father who had 14 children with his wife and yet it seems wouldn’t allow the mother to keep her precious babies, probably for the fear of being caught . Poor woman .

He wanted his cake and eat it and boy did he eat some cake !

Calendargirl Tue 02-Jun-20 13:30:28

My thoughts as well Gillybob.

Anyone who knew him will now recognise him from the descriptions and the photo.

threexnanny Tue 02-Jun-20 13:43:44

I was expecting the father to be Catholic and therefore not able to divorce - but he wasn't! I know there would still have been some difficulty as they were different religions.

DanniRae Tue 02-Jun-20 14:03:13

I really enjoyed the first programme even though it made me cry.
Looking forward to tonight's episode - I watch it the next morning because I know I am going to cry and would rather do it on my own!

sodapop Tue 02-Jun-20 15:09:51

I expect the children had better lives away from biological parents like that.

MerylStreep Tue 02-Jun-20 15:20:16

I won't watch the programme as I know 2 foundlings and know from what they have told me how painful and confusing it is to them 😥

watermeadow Tue 02-Jun-20 15:29:45

Most unmarried mothers had no choice but to give up their babies. If they came from “good” families they would be thrown out and if from poor families they had to work for their living.
I saw an ancient old woman on television years ago talking about giving up her baby for adoption seventy years before. She cried and said she remembered her baby every day.

FindingNemo15 Tue 02-Jun-20 15:46:59

Unless I was not concentrating I do not think they actually said the father had 14 children with the same woman. I notice they were only in touch with 3 of them at the end.

Poppyred Tue 02-Jun-20 16:06:33

Yes the father was married with 14 children. The two foundlings were younger - very sad but it must have been very hard to have babies out of wedlock back then. Thankfully things have moved on.

Oldbutstilluseful Tue 02-Jun-20 16:08:20

Yes, 14 children with his wife, 3 of whom had died.

sodapop Tue 02-Jun-20 16:16:43

One 'mistake' is forgivable but two?

GGumteenth Tue 02-Jun-20 16:37:49

I don't think you can compare times now to the time in Ireland then. And yes, mistakes are always forgivable unless you think you are perfect.

I was an amazing programme and I am so glad for the brother and sister.

GGumteenth Tue 02-Jun-20 16:41:43

Unless I was not concentrating I do not think they actually said the father had 14 children with the same woman. I notice they were only in touch with 3 of them at the end.

That is so wrong unless you were watching a different programme. The father was married and had 14 children. If I remember rightly - and please correct me if I don't - they were all older than the two who were foundlings. Three of those children had died. The mother was never married. The two children were born, again I think, six years apart and this was Ireland.

Chardy Tue 02-Jun-20 17:09:28

There was no divorce in Ireland until after he'd died.

Anniebach Tue 02-Jun-20 17:25:25

The mother may have been the fathers mistress for years

gillybob Tue 02-Jun-20 17:25:50

I still think the father was very selfish . He had 14 legitimate children with his wife and and he probably ruined his mistress’s life as she would have had little choice but to give up her babies. So sad. I hope he was recognised . His family should know what sort of man their father really was.

Oopsminty Tue 02-Jun-20 17:28:14

It was lovely for the siblings to find each other

But so sad that both parents had died

They will never know their story now

Susan56 Tue 02-Jun-20 17:33:18

I have just watched this programme.I found it very emotional but was struck by how gracious and accepting the siblings were on learning about their parents.

Anniebach Tue 02-Jun-20 17:36:12

The mother had the choice not to have an affair with a married man

gillybob Tue 02-Jun-20 17:38:24

She did have a choice Anniebach but what if she did not know he was already married ? What if he strung her along for years in the pretence that he would marry her eventually ?

Poor woman was left with no choice but to abandon her babies.

gillybob Tue 02-Jun-20 17:39:19

Oops posted before I’d finished.

Meant to add there are plenty cases of men leaving double lives for years .