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channel4. docu' A Paedophile in my family.

(109 Posts)
lemsip Wed 31-May-23 21:13:15

a harrowing tale of a father abusing his daughter from age 2 to 17 . sentenced to 14yrs in prison. due out soon. the daughter speaking

Allsorts Wed 31-May-23 22:19:02

Just finished watching it. I didn’t hear at what age the abuse started and can’t understand why over so many years no one noticed. It was stated that 2 out of 20 children at school are abused, that’s an unbelievable figure. I can’t say I understand any more about it than I did before. I don’t see how anyone could get over something like that, any one that does that to a child should be castrated and imprisoned, as for your own father doing it, throw away the key.

welbeck Wed 31-May-23 22:32:24

i think her first memories were about bedtime stories aged 5 pr 6.
but of course it may have been earlier.
she said he was v popular with everyone.
and somehow persuaded his wife to work more and more hours while he became a foster carer.
so he must have been selected for that.
i don't know what work her mother did.
but he kept the girl off school frequently, and no one seemed to wonder if everything was ok.
the mother didn't know, she was at work.
school and others said the girl was always so cheerful and pleasant, achieved well.
and then looking back, she felt guilty about that too.
she just had to survive.
she decided to report him when she was 17 and it dawned on her that by keeping quiet she was not protecting others, and he might well have been abusing others too.
he was about to be released, and declined to meet her, as he said it might interfere with his progress !

Primrose53 Wed 31-May-23 22:39:31

She was abused from 2 years old sadly.

I still find it really hard to believe the mother did not know anything about what was going on.

M0nica Wed 31-May-23 22:52:26

I think at times someone can be vaguely aware that something is not quite right, but have no idea what it is - and in that situation, paedophlia, comes well down the list of things that might occur to you. You would be far more likely to consider an afffair - a homosexual affair, involvment in crime, blackmail before the idea you were married to a paedophile would occur.

welbeck Thu 01-Jun-23 00:27:58

he arranged things to keep the mother out of the way; she had to work long hours to pay the bills.
he kept the girl off school, and took her for activities, and away for birthdays,
the mother couldn't come as she had to work.
interestingly, the mother of a school-friend said she felt a bit uneasy around him, he seemed over-familiar.
but no one had any idea what he was really like.

Allsorts Thu 01-Jun-23 05:37:58

I'm afraid if I was a mother I wouldn't work full time to leave my two year old with a man too shiftless to work, who fostered other as well.

FannyCornforth Thu 01-Jun-23 05:46:48

That’s something I definitely won’t be watching

M0nica Thu 01-Jun-23 07:12:31

Allsorts you really cannot make a statement like that unless you knew all the circumstances.

The mother could have been the victim of psychological control.

silverlining48 Thu 01-Jun-23 07:40:09

That brave and damaged young woman’s story is my story and sadly we are not alone.
I wish her and the many others with the same history peace and a way through what is one of the worst betrayals by a parent that a child can experience. It’s life long trauma, neither forgotten nor forgiven.

downtoearth Thu 01-Jun-23 08:00:44

Silverlining I cant find the words to say to you.
flowers easy to send butI hope they say a lot to you how I feel for you.

downtoearth Thu 01-Jun-23 08:03:33

I know there are several other GN who have mentioned abuse in their background flowers.

FindingNemo15 Thu 01-Jun-23 08:07:44

If the mother was made to work longer hours to put food on the table, how come she said nothing and was not suspicious when he could afford to take the girl to New York a couple of times.

Primrose53 Thu 01-Jun-23 08:42:51


If the mother was made to work longer hours to put food on the table, how come she said nothing and was not suspicious when he could afford to take the girl to New York a couple of times.

Exactly what I thought!

silverlining48 Thu 01-Jun-23 10:50:44

Thanks downtoearth. It took me a bit of courage to say Me too this morning, and I am anonymous, but needed to applaud and support the bravery of Emily.
Such vile abuse from a parent betrays childhood innocence and turns it into a guilty secret.
I wish her well but worry for her. Its a dreadful, probably lifelong, burden.

Kate1949 Thu 01-Jun-23 10:55:30

Well done to you for coming through silverlining. Abuse in childhood, whether sexual, physical or mental, never goes away. I applaud anyone, including myself, who is still here, although broken.

nanna8 Thu 01-Jun-23 10:56:11

Well that is what I call scraping the bottom of the barrel to show something like that. Disgusting.

Smileless2012 Thu 01-Jun-23 10:58:00

silverlining flowers mine too from a family member (not my father) and thank God not for such a prolonged period.

I too applaud and support Emily's bravery but couldn't have watched the documentary. After all these years it would have been too triggering.

Kate1949 Thu 01-Jun-23 11:07:12

But nanna8 with respect, that is some children's reality. How can we stop it if we don't show it?

Galaxy Thu 01-Jun-23 11:09:31

It's really important to talk about the reality if sone childrens lives.

Galaxy Thu 01-Jun-23 11:09:53

hmmOf some

nanna8 Thu 01-Jun-23 11:12:00

But we know it already and it will attract vile people who get their rocks off on that sort of thing. Same when they feature suicides you get copycats. I think it is appalling and would never watch that. They need to pull their heads in.

silverlining48 Thu 01-Jun-23 11:13:04

Nanna8 Disgusted. Shame on you.

Kate1949 Thankyou. Can empathise with Broken.

Smileless2012 Thu 01-Jun-23 11:32:32

It needs to be talked about nanna and we should applaud those prepared to do so publicly, because that shows others who've been abused that the guilt and shame is not theirs to carry and belongs to the perpetrator.

If just one person for the first time, is able to speak to someone about the abuse they suffered because if this documentary, Emily has done something truly wonderful.

Smileless2012 Thu 01-Jun-23 11:32:55

of this not if