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Wasn't sure if this should have been on the health thread, the damn black dog!

(50 Posts)
Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 19:59:34

Evening all,

I'm sure this is work related, but I am becoming increasingly aware of the black dog nipping at my heels.

The only job I have currently (just 20 hours a week, mainly from home) isn't working out terribly well, not sure if it's the job per se, or me.

Silly isn't it, still posting daft stuff, even starting semi humorous threads.

Grannylin Mon 25-Jun-12 20:06:44

Hang on in there phoenix, you're a strong gal, its just a blip, ((big hug))

jeni Mon 25-Jun-12 20:21:51

I presume this Churchills black dog!
I agree you are strong and you will get through this!
When I'm down, the only thing that gets me going again is the humour on GN.
Keep it up!smile

Bags Mon 25-Jun-12 20:24:22

phoenix flowers I've been thoroughly impressed with your strength and your wonderful sense of humour all through this very hard time you've been, and still are, having. I salute you!

Anagram Mon 25-Jun-12 20:25:43

It's not silly at all, phoenix! Anyone who's had any brush with depression will sympathise with you - and what better place to start any old daft stuff than here on GN? I'm not really a huggy person, but {{hug}} smile.

gracesmum Mon 25-Jun-12 20:33:44

You wouldn't be normal if you didn't get down after all you have been through. The most encouraging sign is that you recognise it yourself. Let it go......don't waste energy unnecessarily, you will bounce back when the going is less tough. Daft stuff seems to me the best antidote!

Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 20:39:51

Thanks all, appreciated.

I am soo close to ending the job, just can't seem to get it right.

Talking to a friend last night, who is well aware of how things are, after a bit of probing I realised that on the scale, if 5 is feeling pretty low/fed up, and 10 is depressed (in the proper sense) I'm somewhere between 7 & 8, but I suppose that identifying and acknowledging it is a sort of positive?

(Mr P doesn't think that this sort of working from home is the right thing for me)

Butternut Mon 25-Jun-12 20:40:18

phoenix - recognising the damn black dog is half the battle! You've had a rotten time of it and have been brilliant in your resourcefulness and positive attitude. Take time to care for yourself well. x sunshine

mrshat Mon 25-Jun-12 20:46:36

Look after yourself phoenix that old black dog is a real nuisance and visits when you could really do without! Hang on in there, you're strong, think positive (as much as you can) and take it easy with the job - things will work out. sunshine and fresh air help, honestly! flowers

Ella46 Mon 25-Jun-12 20:51:24

phoenix you will get past this flowers ((hugs))

Annobel Mon 25-Jun-12 20:53:51

You have cheered us up so often, phoenix. When you need a boost, this is the place to come. ((((hugs)))), flowers wine

Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 20:56:37

This is daft, I'm finding myself posting stuff on other threads, sounding ok, but I suspect it's the old displacement thing (I think that is probably the wrong word)

Bad dreams are back with a vengeance, but of course there is nothing one can do about those.

It would be a really silly thing to do under the circumstances, but I keep feeling tempted to renew my passport and use some of the redundancy money to book a short/cheap holiday, (we haven't been away since May 2005) but I know that we need to hang onto that money to pay the mortgage, coucil tax etc and actually live on.

Oh blody hell, I think I'm losing it!

Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 21:00:14

Sent an email this morning to the employers, explaining the problems that I was having with the database that they had given me to work, no reply so far, I've actually found myself hoping that they will email back saying something like "it obviously isn't working out, we will have to let you go"

Anagram Mon 25-Jun-12 21:00:26

Deep breaths, phoenix! Just get through the next couple of days and see how you feel then.

Learnergran Mon 25-Jun-12 21:00:49

Phoenix, there won't be many G'ners who don't know how you're feeling - you're not alone.
Possibly Mr P has it bang to rights. It may be that you are one of those people who need the company and stimulation of others around you in the workplace, and working from home is too isolated for you. When you find the right job - and you will, you will - you'll feel more like yourself flowers.

Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 21:12:11

The odd thing is, that I'm usually fine with my own company, I lived alone for a year between husbands! I can quite happily potter about the house, doing this and that, read a chapter of my book etc etc. But faced with making 6 to 7 hours of telephone calls shut away in the home office, it all seems to go wrong.

I was logged on to a jobsite today for my area, didn't put in a key word, so was looking at ALL jobs. 20 pages.

A particular Queen song is going through my head at the moment, a gold star and a virtual cake for the first one to get it! (ok, virtual flowers if you are on a diet, I'm an equal opportunities poster)

Anagram Mon 25-Jun-12 21:13:33

'I want to break free'? grin

Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 21:15:07


crimson Mon 25-Jun-12 21:17:25

Touch of SAD syndrome perhaps? Especially as we haven't had any summer either. I'll never forget going to see my doctor when I had my first baby. Told him how worried I was all the time as the news was full of nuclear war stuff. He said 'Mrs Crimson, do you get out and meet people much' to which I replied that I didn't because I had a small baby. 'Just get out more' he told me'. At the time I was pretty annoyed about his attitude but, as the years have gone by I've realised more and more that he was right. You've got to break free, phoenix.....grin

jeni Mon 25-Jun-12 21:21:03

Frankly there is nothing like break to restore a sense of perspective!
There are times when money is not as important as sanity.
Can you get a quick weekend city break cheap?

Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 21:23:26

Crimson wrong song, and from "previous" I know it's not SAD, unfortunately.

Try a track from their "Innuendo" album.

jeni Mon 25-Jun-12 21:24:24

Just a thought! Pm me tomorrow! You're not far from me!
Perhaps have couple of days at my house. It's 4bedroomed!

Anagram Mon 25-Jun-12 21:25:20

'I'm going slightly mad'?

Aren't we all....confused

Anne58 Mon 25-Jun-12 21:34:05

Anagram ! You've got it!

Oh Jeni , that is the sweetest, kindest offer, but I will have to decline, too much to explain at present, but very much appreciated.

jeni Mon 25-Jun-12 21:38:09

Oh well! It's an open offer! I'm here
Fridays Saturday Sunday. I'm handy for Bristol , Wells Bath etc.
Tell me if you change your mind!