Gransnet forums


Taking the plunge into retirement

(19 Posts)
Noonie104 Thu 17-Oct-19 17:05:52

Lately I have been feeling very over worked underappreciated, ignored.
I am told that I am trusted and need minimum supervision, which is true, but I also need to feel that I can discuss my work and how I am getting on more so in the last few years. I have voiced this and other issues to my employer as a reason for handing in my notice in but have not handed it in in writing yet. Now, I am feeling more than a little worried about retirement and what it means. I have enjoyed the challenge of my career have filled my days and my head with it, been an active mother doing most things for the family with little and sometimes no external support. Now if I continue on the path of resignation/ retirement I can take my time and do things at home to my own pace and do things I haven't ever had the time to do. I am not sure now whether I should continue overworked and at times stressed or step into the abyss and just try to fill my life with new things. I have never had many girl friends where we live now and as work revolves around mainly a male dominated world not much continuity there. I worry that I won't be able to mix or make new friends that I have become so self sufficient I don't know how to not be that person who copes, who doesn't need other people other than emotionally. I think I have forgotten who I am any advice.

NfkDumpling Thu 17-Oct-19 17:11:35

As long as you have enough money to be reasonably comfortable, what are you waiting for? It’s not stepping into an abyss, it’s stepping onto a cloud which will float you away to pastures you never knew about. There’s so much to do you’ll wonder why you never did it before and friendships will develop along the way.

Whatever your interest there’s volunteering opportunities for you. U3A is great, with all sorts going on. It’s a different life out here!

Noonie104 Thu 17-Oct-19 17:23:08

Thanks NfkDumpling
No, money isn't an issue though loss of salary always makes an impact but mortgage is paid off no debts husband still earning.
I'll check out volunteering might be the

newnanny Thu 17-Oct-19 17:43:39

1. Work out if you will have enough money to retire on. I retired at 56 due to several health issues not bad enough to retire under ill health but bad enough to make working difficult. I can't get my private teaching pension and lump sum until 60 or full state pension until 67 but that is ok as I had enough savings and my dh works full time in well paid job and I have an additional stakeholder pension I can draw down from as over 55 if I need to. 2 and I have income from 6 buy to let properties. If you retire you could always still pick up a part-time job if you wanted to. This could be for financial reasons, boredom or just still wanting to be out there and contribute. 3. You could do some voluntary work if you want more flexible work. 4. I have found there are some lovely opportunities out there to enjoy if your health allows you to. I have joined The National Trust group near to me and we go on visits to some lovely stately homes and castles but also back to backs and Abbeys. Everyone is very friendly and there are a lot of people who come as singles so I never feel left out. We have coffee mornings and lectures on various things and you chose to either attend or not. Our group also has Ambles and Rambles which as short walks or longer walks but all include a pub lunch. We also have an upcoming Xmas craft fayre and we can learn how to do things. There is also U3A which also has so many different opportunities to learn new skills e.g. photography. 4. You can also take advantage of going on holiday at cheaper times of the year and no more being asked to work extra around Xmas or New Year to cover for others on leave. 5. I have found I have read a lot more books, caught up on box sets I wanted to watch but never had time. I do more crafting and baking wand cooking which my family loves. I also go to the gym and can go in off peak time so cheaper subscription. I have made new friends at gym as I tend to go to same classes, sessions each week. 6. I can offer to do emergency childcare for my dgc. who is at nursery to allow my dd to still go to work. 7. I feel less stressed as now no problems trying to fit everything in with time available. 8. My health has improved and my blood pressure is now down where it should be so I take less medication. 9. I have time to meet up with my sisters and old friends for meals and day trips out which I never hardly did before. 10. I can honestly say I wish I had taken the plunge the year before I did. I am very content at home and still have loads to do. I often wonder how I managed before I retired. Having said this I would not have retired had I not been financially sound as if not enough money to enjoy your retirement I think it may be very different. I am hoping my dh will join me in retirement when he is 60 but think he wants to work until 63 or 64.

Do not make a hasty decision. Think it over carefully and do your calculations of finances and what activities or pass times you can be engaged with. Your boss may let you go part-time for a year so you can see how that suits you.

paintingthetownred Thu 17-Oct-19 17:46:00

oh for goodness sake, I am holding back form sounding judgemental. How many of us do not have a pension AT ALL.
not that I would want a husband (so many women on here moan about them) but at least if you fell ill, etc

there would be a second income to fall back on …

Try going it entirely alone with a child...

and the current government obliterating all family benefits and regarding us as Untermenschen. Which in a fascist sense means less than human...
which Boris Johnson and co do.

think yourself lucky.

Grannyknot Thu 17-Oct-19 17:46:35

Noonie you are not stepping in the abyss! shock

With retirement, it's more a case of Come on in, the water's fine ... smile

DoraMarr Thu 17-Oct-19 18:09:02

Take the plunge! The only thing I would counsel against is taking on a commitment. Give yourself six months to settle in to retirement, then think about volunteering. You may find that you want to be free of all commitments, to go travelling, for instance, or to take a more active part in family life. I think U3A is great. You will meet people and follow interests you already have and find new ones. I put off retiring because I thought I would be bored, but I have never looked back, and didn’t take up the offer to do one day a week and supply teaching at my old school. I’m glad I didn’t!

Jane10 Thu 17-Oct-19 18:17:31

NfkDumpling put it very well. It is like stepping on to a cloud! You'll find you don't need as much money somehow but make sure your finances are all organised.
I think I was born to be retired! sunshine

quizqueen Thu 17-Oct-19 18:27:08

Would your employer consider letting you cut down to p/t hours while you help train someone to fill your position, as a prequel to retirement. When you have, say two days to spare in the week, initially, you can judge how best to fill them and whether you'd like to have more or think you may be bored.

sodapop Fri 18-Oct-19 00:46:32

I agree with quizqueen if possible try working part time first.
When you do less hours or retire completely don't rush into taking on new commitments, take time do do enjoyable things. Lunch with friends, visits to places of interest a new hobby etc. Take time to smell the roses as they say.

NfkDumpling Fri 18-Oct-19 08:22:57

Working part time could work well while you trained someone else in your job. But you may well find that it soon gets in the way of your new ‘real’ life!

MiniMoon Fri 18-Oct-19 11:22:05

I'd been working permanent night shift before I retired. I had no friends, except those at work. I decided that I needed to retire when my body was letting me down.

It is the most wonderful thing! You don't have to watch the clock, you have no commitments to anyone else. You don't need a bedtime or getting up time.

I went out and found friends at local groups eg. knit and natter.
DH still works part time and when he's off we do loads of things together.
Recently we started swimming at a local private pool.

Go on, retire while you are still fit enough to enjoy it.


MawB Fri 18-Oct-19 13:37:39

Like you DoraMarr I resisted the temptation to cushion my retirement by agreeing to do part time or supply, reasoning that if I had fallen out of love with teaching , whether I did 5 days a week or one, it was not going to be right for me.
OP doesn’t say what her job is or how old she is, or whether she has hobbies and interests she wants to pursue- or have I missed that. A demanding career can leave you feeling a bit rudderless when you stop but I would echo the advice not to rush into other commitments.
But once the idea starts to take root, I suspect that retirement will not be far behind!

Nellie098 Fri 18-Oct-19 14:05:53

I worked full time virtually all of my working life and my last job was very stressful. However I could not imagine being retired but knew the time had come. I set myself a date when I would leave and the nearer it came the more I looked forward to it. The first two weeks at home were strange but then I started to look for things to occupy my time and I can't believe that 3.5 years have now passed so quickly.
If you are still in good health then make the most of the coming years as none of us know what is round the corner. I am close to two ex work colleagues who have developed serious health problems they have to contend with. I think you will feel a sense of freedom in being able to choose what you do with your life. I also don't think you will have any problems meeting people in whatever you do next and move away from spending every day with your work colleagues, although keep in touch with those you like. So get out there and enjoy life.

newnanny Sat 19-Oct-19 18:59:42

I have found the best bit of all is now I am retired, If I feel ill I can have a day in bed, and not have to make myself feel worse by forcing myself into work when I am not fit. Also far less stressed.

Wildrose24 Thu 24-Oct-19 08:56:25

I took early retirement last Christmas. I had worked for 40 years and my health was suffering. I had cancer a few years previously and although well now thought life is not a dress rehearsal. Did not go down the ill health route so works pension reduced. I have never been happier.Feel much less tired and can think much more clearly.There are a wealth of volunteering opportunities and short courses.I enjoy looking after my grandchildren part time.I have seen much more of my family and been able to help my elderly father instead of constantly juggling time.I see a few people now and again but really value some alone time. I am busy sorting through cupboards and redecorating.I have lots of interests which is good.I have found that I don't need as much money but am lucky as my husband still works. I was sure it was what I wanted so that helped too.

katie1 Sun 10-Nov-19 20:24:31

Noonie104, I am in a similar situation, but had no say in retiring from my job. Ideally I would like to work part time, currently I am a supply teacher but I don't like the uncertainty of not knowing when and if I will be working. I feel I have still so much to give as I have years of experience and feel I could help many children to learn to read etc. I am helping out with grandchildren which I love, but feel deep down I am not ready to be that person who has no work commitments. Ideally I want to work two days a week, as I am not yet ready to be retired. Every day it doesn't feel right that I am not fully employed.

M0nica Sun 10-Nov-19 21:25:55

katie1, why not take on voluntary work with a regualr weekly commitment.

I was made redundant into early retirement in my early 50s. I spent a year trying to return to work and then gave up and volunteered with a charity where I was able to use my work skills in a different environment. I did that for 10 years, and would be doing it still, had funding for the scheme not run out.

katie1 Mon 11-Nov-19 09:28:43

MOnica, thank you for your advice. What you did is exactly what I am doing now, I have spent over a year trying to return to regular work. I have thought about volunteering, but haven't done anything about it yet as I keep hoping a job will turn up any minute. It doesn't stop me volunteering though, so thank you, you have given me some encouragement. 😊