Old boyfriend

nannapippa I'm sure you're right about the problems with Facebook. The internet has made it so much easier to get in touch with people from your past & it's not always a good idea. I wouldn't have thought of messaging this old boyfriend if I hadn't run into him because we parted on bad terms. He was quite a bit older than me which wasn't so obvious when we were younger but is very obvious now! Like Hattie64 I was glad that we hadn't ended up together, However, I would have liked the chance to make my peace with him. If I hadn't told my husband in the first place, I could probably have done that & moved on. Now I feel I can't get in touch because my husband is so against it & I wouldn't want to upset him.

I was contacted by my first serious boyfriend, we were engaged, on Friends Re-united a few years back. I had often wondered what had happened to him after 40 years. He was living in Canada and coming to the UK with his wife. We agreed to meet in London. He hadn't changed much, only older, but he was so boring, I felt so sorry for his wife, as they had done so little with their lives, I could tell that she was utterly fed up with him. I was so glad I had met up with him, and realise my good luck at not marrying him myself. I never told my husband, it would have bothered him, wanting to know why I felt I had to meet him again.
This ex still sends me the odd email, and I do reply eventually, but keep it very short.

I love facebook, but I think it has caused many problems within relationships, as well as being a great way to meet up with people one has lost contact with. A bit of a double edged sword.....

thank you harrigran that worked

Granmouse, go to facebook and click on my account, a drop down menu allows you to edit friends. You should be able to do what you want from there.

probably wrong place to ask but can anyone tell me how to 'delete' an unwanted 'friend' on facebook?This is the dd of my dh's ex and her new partner however I have reason to believe it is actually the ex herself.

there was a girl i was engaged to in the 60,s i would love to chat to her

hello Magsie - I think that as the relationship is based on what they last knew of each other, and so yes they have become a bit like teenagers.

Hey! I went to a 'reunion' of my old Sunday School Choir, my first ever boyfriend was there, now we're reunited and have been married for 14yrs!! :0

I think your hubby is a little wary because he cannot share with you the 'memories' of friends from the past that your old flame can. Let's face it there is generally a 'pre- this life' person! I wonder how it would be if he had bumped into an old flame, would he feel the need to be secretive or would he be upfront and say so like you have done? My ex husband is still part of my life, as others have said, as we have a common tie, our children - but to be honest we can't share someone's life for x amount of time and then forget them, nor should we, they're part of who we are and where we are!

That sounds intriguing babyjack- do they get all giggly or what?

I have known friends who have made contact with old boyfriends through Friends Reunited , trouble is they tend to start off where they left off and turn into 15 year olds!!

Glad to see that other people get on well with ex husbands as I do with mine. Many people seem to think its 'weird' that I am friendly with both him and his wife.

I see and chat on facebook to my 1st husband we get on great and share our grandchildren

Well not yet anyway! (N.B. Joke!)
The problem is that my old boyfriend was (still is) a professional musician and this makes him a bit dodgy in my husband's eyes!

Magsie, curiosity is what makes the world so interesting, go for it, it's not like you are booking a secret hotel room!!

I'm sure he would like to think of himself as an "old dog with plenty of life left in him!"

lol @ nanpippa lol

I agree with what you say Milliej. I am not sure I would cope with my DH "chatting" to an ex, however innocent it is, so can understand Magsie how he may feel. Not sure it is right to go there even if he is 70, after all he may be an old dog with plenty of life in him

That happened to me ages ago (over the internet) and it could have caused end number of problems but thankfully didn't! I told my husband when it first happened and he didn't seem bothered but after conversing with my 'old flame' for a little while it just didn't seem right.

I've been married 44 years and I wouldn't actually like to think of my husband having even an internet relationship with any of his old flames, why would he, so what is good for the goose.....my opinion! Let sleeping dogs lie or let the past stay past!

Hi Swedenana- many thanks for your advice. I was interested to hear that you are in touch with your ex-husband with no problems. I don't think my husband believes that you can be "just friends" with an old flame- you either hate them or nurse a secret passion for them! In this case he thinks I am still carrying a torch for my old boyfriend and when I protest that I am not, he says "Well, why do you want to keep in touch then?" I can't win...

I'm in touch with a couple of old flames on FB from over 30 years ago, along with my ex-husband, whom I still love as a very dear friend. My current husband has no interest in Facebook anyway so really doesn't care. In your shoes, I might gently point out to my husband that at least I had told him about the meeting and the FB contact, so there are no secrets. I certainly agree with HildaW - perhaps he's a little wary of feeling excluded. Lots of reassurance needed - is your husband on FB? If he is then he'll be able to see what contacts you have, which might put his mind at rest a bit.

Thank you both for replying. I certainly did make the right choice HildaW & I suppose I should be grateful that he notices what I do!

The only threat I think is if your husband thinks you are chatting about things he was never part of. Shared memories can seem quite intimate to those who are not included. Also perhaps husband just needs the reassurance of you letting him know that of course you made the right choice all those years ago! Take it from me, its not much fun if they dont bat an eye...and really dont seem to care who you talk too!

I don't think a 70 something old boyfriend is a threat to your marriage. At least with facebook people can see what you are saying so it is all above board. Nice to have happy memories of your old boyfriend.