Hijacking threads on gransnet

I, too, am sorry if baggythecrust has decided to leave gransnet as her posts always struck me as interesting, pertinent, often coming from a different point of view and frequently amusing – even when I didn't agree with her. I am sorry too that acrimony seems to be creeping in and acknowledge that I may have been too forthright in stating some of my opinions and unintentionally offended some people. Must try harder! (Not try harder to offend people – the opposite.) It is right that people feel that they can discuss all kinds of topics from the fairly trivial to the very serious and state their opinions and points of view openly and it would be a sad day, indeed, if gransnet becomes "cliquey" or abuse and hectoring become the norm. It would be sad too if censorship – especially group censorship – were to rear its ugly head. I have always been impressed by the extent of topics, the range of views and the clarity with which they are expressed and very much hope that gransnet continues in this way.

My initial concern was not that any topic or poster was unacceptable or unwelcome - it was simply that a thread could be started and tick over nicely, including all points of view but then go off at a tangent and end up being taken over by an intense few. Several threads then ended up repeating the same arguments under different headings and the tone did become rather unpleasant at times. As Geraldine has said, it should be easy to avoid those topics which we are finding tedious (given the intelligent way that Gransnet is set up) and equally easy to home in on the discussions we enjoy. I do not suggest any kind of rule about sticking to the main subject - look at the delightful wanderings encountered in the shed or the quiet corner - but reiterate that I don't like feeling 'hi-jacked'. However, let's bring on lots of 'agreeing to disagree'.

I like Baggy [a lot] and I love the Quiet Corner and I think that Gransnet is a good place. End of

There seems to be plenty of scope for gloves off, very few holds barred, fights in other places... I hope Gransnet continues to develop as it has started as a supportive place where people take a bit of care about what they say and how they say it. It is tricky sometimes to write with care in a way that is not going to be misinterpreted. (keep practicing jess!)
I was talking to someone who runs a political discussion forum and her favourite rule is "you can go for the ball not the man" in other words you can disagree with someone's ideas but you should not go in for personal attacks.

"Go for the ball, not the man" is a good way of putting it, jess.

I thought so. A visual metaphor!

I would just like to know how you lot would feel if you were accused of all the things I have been accused of? I have not been personal towards anyone - I have disagreed with people's views but have not been critical of them personally. But do you realise how rude you have been about me? - in public, so to speak - you have accused me of: lecturing, hectoring, irritabilitey, bad temper and so on. I have chosen to ignore this and try to see it as a case of shooting the messenger because the message is so scary - and par for the course as it were. But this is the limit: to be accused of driving a "popular person" to leave gransnet (just long enough to get de-crusted). Looks suspiciously like a set up. Don't you even consider what this sort of thing can do to people?

carbon, I've sent you a private message but I think I'd better say it publicly too, since you have broight it up in the (gransnet) public arena already: there were no personal accusations (nor names) in the post that I asked GN to remove. In this thread Geraldine explains why they agreed to remove it.

CARBON What Baggy tells you is absolutely true.

Thanks Baggy, thats fine. Just for the record its not you that's been complaining about me. Also I have never seen our debates as anything but that; debate - I think you probably try and wind me up but I can take it, no problem, its par for the course as far as I'm concerned. These debates are so important, which is why they get so heated - if people don't like it they shouldn't join in.

Thanks, too, Annobel

I'm feeling the love

I will admit that I complained to Gransnet. I was really annoyed to see posts aimed at carboncareful and thought this should not be allowed. It also sets a precedent (not sure if that is the right word, but you know what I mean) that anyone could be targetted. I might add that some of the accusations aimed at carboncareful were actually not true. I like carboncareful and she is a popular poster too. I believe we should keep the bags and the carbs on Gransnet. It would be boring without them!!!!
I am actually in a rush this morning, here in Oz, I am off to find out the sex of my next grandchild, with my daughter of course. Wish me luck, its a lovely but worrying day. The last time one of our family had a 20 weeks scan it was one of fear and worry. That's when we found out about my grandson's hypoplastic left heart syndrome. He has done well though, one of the most delightful little people on the planet!!!

Enjoy the experience Faye. I have a friend who has a daughter with hypoplastic left heart syndrome.

Thank you Harrigran, looks like my daughter is having a healthy baby girl, so we are all delighted!
I hope your friend's daughter is doing well, it is stressful when they are sick, but they are worth every second of the worry that you have to go through!

Lovely news Faye, and so much to look forward to. So pleased for you all.

I hope the forum doesn't become cliquey and just used as a gossipy blog for just a few individuals. I take pleasure in reading the various threads on a multitude of subjects. There are those I try to avoid commenting on, such as politics and religion, as they seem to bring out in the worst in some people. I never feel that it's a private blog for a small number of people, with others being excluded as they are not 'personal' friends with the group. It's very inclusive and that's the way it should stay. If people want to turn it into a private messaging service for a select few, I don't think that's right. I've probably gone 'off subject' here, so I apologise.

Yes!! BAN PRIVATE MESSAGING BAN PRIVATE MESSAGING BAN PRIVATE MESSAGING

I agree janthea

Faye, its no good complaining to Gransnet. They won't do anything. It might spoil the social experiment.

I am paranoid.

carbon, you just need to be really snotty back and then turn off your pooter. {hugs}

Janthea I think it is a pity if you feel you can't contribute to issues in which there might be disagreement but not everyone likes to debate. I hope that we can disagree and express our feelings openly without being personally attacked.
I hope CarbonC that you do not feel I ever personally attacked you. I agree with you about climate change but I was trying to make it clear that you seemed to be putting people's backs up in the way you were engaging. Which was a pity, when the subject is so important.
I was debating with myself this morning about the pros and cons of private messaging? Should I have pm'ed CC with my comments?
My personal view is that I would like it if this forum continued to develop so that we can have mature disagreements on all sorts of issues. With new members joining all the time it is inevitable that we are going to have a few hiccups though.

Oh God, Jess, we haven't got to be mature have we?