WANTED: grandparents/guide parents for 11 month old boy

What a sad message - you don't give any idea of the area you live in - I feel it would be good if the successful candidate(s) was reasonably local to you. I am in the south west of England.
I am sure you have thought this through but please be careful in your selection as sadly there are perverts out there. This is not any reflection on Gransnet as I believe it to be a great site, but sadly, with technology as it is, these evil people are getting through to our youngsters.
Your message is so lovely I would hate anything to go wrong and I really wish you the very best as you are obviously a yummy mummy!

BNG, grandparents don't reject their grandchildren "just like that". Why haven't you told us what happened to bring about this weird situation?

Baggy is right.. how did this situation come about? More info is definitely needed!

Ok.

My father is a violent, controlling man whom my mother would follow to the ends of the earth. He is toxic and abusive. I really wanted to turn it around before my ds was born and try again. He doesnt want to know. My parents regularly take weekends out nearby to us, where my father will text us saying what a great time they're having but they don't have the time to see us. My father refuses to hold my son. They have seen us for 2 hours so far this year, at our effort. My mil is not interested. No explanation. So yes, gps CAN reject their grandchildren 'just like that'. And it's bloody horrible.

I am sorry to hear about your problems with your parents babiesneedgrannies. I lurk on Mumsnet and saw your post there - I hope you have some luck with this. I think you need to say approximately where you live. The suggestions about church and church toddler groups was quite good - I know the children who come to our church get an awful lot of attention from grannies who are missing their own grandchildren. But do be careful; you will need to vet people very carefully.

I made a comment on this thread earlier today and reading through the comments made since I firmly believe that we have here a very unhappy Mum who just wishes her child to have a grandparent/grandchild relationship which is special.
Yes, there could well be a 'bit more to it' than babiesneedgrannies is prepared to explain on this forum and that must be respected.
I added to a similar thread, also this morning, on very similar subject and it had already been suggested that the church could be a good place to look. I agree completely with GillieB above - we have lots of 'older' members in our church congregation. However it is not easy to vet people, so in the other thread I suggested that the mum contacts the safeguarding representative in her local parish and see if he/she could think of a suitable 'grandparent' - I believe it would be easier to vet a person by asking for a recommendation from someone like the safeguarding rep rather than pick out a potential 'grandparent' and then expect someone to say why this person may not be suitable.
Please take care babiesneedgrannies and good luck!

Babiesneedgrandparents. just so you dont feel alone, my own father could be best described as toxic, also hyper selfish and once my Mum died we really saw his true colours. Yes he has pretty much washed his hands of five wonderful grandchildren and also a greatgrandchild. I do hope that you can make some older friends to widen your child's experience. Just a thought but was wondering if your local elderly daycare centre might appreciate you visiting with your child. Its no where near what you want but if you became a regular visitor something might come of it. I wish you all the best.

Are there two separate threads on this, by the same original poster?

Plus the one from Guppie?

Babiesneed, I'm not sure anyone can just step in and become grandparents. The love most people feel for their grandparents comes in part at least, from genetics. I think its to do with continuing your own gene pool. Something like the "earth" kind of love a mother has for her child.

You can probably find someone to be a good family friend and perhaps they will love your children to some degree. But its never going to be quite the same.

I think you need to keep working at your family relationships. Try to see both sides to every picture. Be understanding, forgiving and tolerant. Its hard but you will be doing it for your child.

The "successful candidate" you describe probably doesn't exist. Wishful thinking.

I have heard of a few instances where people have adopted a Granny or Grandad for their children. I am not sure - but I think there is an organisation that brings people together for this reason ?

There are lots of lonely older people out there. Some have grandchildren living abroad or have none of their own at all. Its a lovely idea - BUT - you do have to be very careful - apart from suspect people there may be some who like the idea but lose interest very quickly ! - That would be awful for a child if they became 'attached'