To join Gransnet and not mumsnet?

Does anyone else get totally fed up hearing young mothers 'reasoning' with their children when all they should say is No, and mean it. My youngest with a friend asked for something or other - absent mindedly I said 'we'll see' and as they went out, hand in hand, youngest said to his friend - oh that's alright, when she says that she really means yes!

I hope none of my GSs hear that story!

Mine too baggy

Has anyone else seen the story of the eleven year old German boy who rang the ploice to complain about "forced labour" when he was asked to tidy up at home? He'd be in big trouble if he was my son!

I like the story about the lipstick on the mirrors. Like some of the others some young mums worry too much instead of enjoying their children. Also some kids rule the roost. At least we grans enjoy our grandchildren and have fun with them.

Oops - dropped the mouse and lost my post, which I'd had the foresight to save in WORD, re-posted, but realise that it's in the wrong thread now! He-he! Experiencing my own dizzyblonde moment I'm afraid!

A high school Headmaster had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the girl’s toilets they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the girl’s toilets at 2pm.

They gathered at 2pm and found the headmaster and the school caretaker waiting for them. The headmaster explained that it was becoming a problem for the caretaker to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.

The caretaker then demonstrated. He took a long brush out of a bucket, dipped it in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.

That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

I think they can give very good support but for goodness sake don't admit to smacking your children on there. My 19 year old daughter went on there to support me and say she had suffered zero trauma from being smacked and was told that she didn't know what she was talking about and must have been suffering the long term effects from a tap on the hand.
She has been far to well brought up to tell them what rubbish they were talking.

That's good to know, grandmaagain - I was thinking these lasses must be quite scary!!

just a couple of words of support for mumsnet, my DD has had a very difficult time with pregnancy and delivery and the support threads have been superb.
but keep away from their AIBU mostly that is horrid

Don't think I'll look on there - they would all make me so annoyed, and I just couldn't be bothered with them!!

I agree with alot of people on here about Mumsnet.
One of my pet gripes is the breastfeeding police on there.One poster got very upset because ,as she had to give up breastfeeding, someone called her an unfit mother and she should not be having children!.What a thing to say.
Also the amount of spoiled children.Even babies seem to rule the house.

I've just hopped across to look at Mumsnet - nasty - they all seem so aggressive and 'I want' or even worse 'I should be entitled'. Just wait till they get to be grandparents.

I never read Dr Spock or anything else, just used my instincts. It seemed to work. Mind you, I did have very healthy babies. Might have been different if I'd been worried about them.

Weaning was giving the baby food when it seemed interested. Mine were all breast fed and they all weaned themselves off the breast before they were a year old even though I was quite happy to continue. They just stopped and would look at me as if to say: I know there's something else. I want some of that. Interestingly, two of them haven't touched milk since then so maybe they never liked it much.

"You know more than you think you do." That was the opening sentence in Dr Spock. I was 20, an only child, with a baby and hadn't a clue what I was doing. E.G. Weaning....strange word, I thought. I still have my copy of the book - no covers, certain pages dog eared, and three wonderful children in their 40s.

I had Dr Spock's book too - and I remember one of the things he said early on in it was something like to follow your own instincts as they were most likely to be right for you. He had some very sensible suggestions for the times when you were not sure what was the best thing to do.

As for the children in your bed thing, the norm in our house was that everyone had their own bed, where they were comfortable and happy. Sometimes little feet would patter in to us after a bad dream, or a frightening thought. We were always welcoming and reassuring and kept them with us until the memory had faded and they were getting sleepy, then we would ask if they were ready to go back yet. If they were, they would be carried back and tucked in, and slept soundly there. It was not often that anyone needed longer.

They mostly entertained themselves in the mornings. They could all read pretty young and had books beside the bed. Closed curtains kept out the dawn light, that helped.

I keep changing my mind about having the baby in bed thing. I used to think Dr Hugh Jolly was really good in the 70s. He seemed to talk sense.
Perhaps Spock meant don't let the baby/child sleep all night in your bed ? Surely he didn't mean not let them in for cuddles in the morning ??

My daughter has let all her children sleep in her bed from birth - she ended up having 3 children in bed with her and her husband every single night. I doubt any of them got a good night sleep and she has problems with them now not wanting to be in their own beds. My son and his wife have never let their son sleep in their bed - only when he has been ill - and then my son sleeps on the sofa ! Its great babysitting for him because he has a firm bedtime routine which he follows quite happily whereas my daughter's children are chaotic and don't want to go to bed at all !

Elegran,.. I can't remember my own mother ever discussing problems with us kids,.. she didn't have any because she just expected us to do whatever she said .......... and we did.

Maxgran - the other thing that mums seem to do these days is to catalogue all their child's problems and tel you how difficult they are to control etc in front of the child who listens smugly and plots what to do next to drive mum to drink. If I discussed problems with anyone else, it was well out of their hearing. They need to at least think that you are in charge of the situation and are just getting round to sorting everything out.

vojangly Hugh Jolly was the Consultant Paediatrician at the hospital where I had my daughter and he encouraged all mothers to have their babies in bed with them from the birth onwards – at least until we stopped breast-feeding. He also reckoned that there were no cases of healthy babies being smothered by adults in the same bed, except where alcohol, drugs or obesity were factors (in the adults not the babies).

Only thing I couldn't go along with with Dr Spock was the "never bring your child into your bed".

The cuddles, and fun, we would have missed.

Annobel I also had Dr Spock and as you rightly say, full of common sense. raggygranny you, too, are right that they all appear nervous of their own common sense and won't trust it. I also ate things that are now banned when I was preganant and enjoyed the occasional scotch and ginger! As I tell my girls, they lived!!

I swore by Dr Spock when I had my first and can't imagine why his ideas have gone out of fashion. They were simple common sense for the most part and the best of it was that he encouraged mums to trust their own instincts.

My daughter lives in Oz with husband and small one. Ghastly there! Babe threatened with sleep school if she didn't sleep for a set time in the day God knows what that would have entailed). As to tummy time, ah the tyranny of it. Babe hated it and cried when put on tummy; the baby police were horrified at her apparent lack of neck strength and prescribed more tummy time ('or else' was always the sub text). Told daughter to ignore it and not take her to the clinic any more. Oddly, babe crawled and walked on time and head appears firmly attached to shoulders.

I can't get over the number of Mums who say their child hits and kicks them or their husband and other children !....and they ASK what they should do about it !! Its a bit like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted - If they get that far then the Mum must have given the child way too much power for a long time !
My son is 32 now - and I doubt he would dare hit me now - never mind when he was a child !!

I certainly noticed with my daughters and DIL that they had very little confidence in their own instincts. There seems to have been a collective loss of nerve in their generation. Those of us who have been around for longer can see that much of what is taken as 'gospel' in childrearing is really just fashion and will change in a few years, but it is very hard for young mums to ignore the babycare police!