thank you all, I do agree it is certainly not worth OH AND me falling out over, but I can now see how things like this do not always pull a couple closer.
This chap is a very old friend of my husband 55 years friendship and he genuinely wants to try and help.
I also think he is right having calmed down it may be better as he has done to tell our daughter we know nothing about it.
Moving on will never be an option for me regarding my little grand daughters, but yes I agree our daughter has never even tried to meet us half way, and we certainly are going to scale down our efforts. I would never scream at you Merlotgran is it very patient and kind of you all to try and suport me of which I have been enormously grateful. I totally agree we have to step back as far as we can, e.g. this year no easter cards or cash - but will send card and token gift to Mollie on her 5th birthday. As few of you know I do a blog online to Mollie and I am going to be strong and not write to my daughter at all this year
Of course we cna write to her ourselves harrigran but she totally ignores it and has not responded once I guess we have to realise it is not going to happen. The idea being Richard was going to try tactic of length time he known her Dad and the distress she is causing etc and how much he gives and gets from his grand kids and that we are all losing out. Agree is a very tenuous straw being clutched!!
I feel the only person to get through to her is her brother who is far too disgusted with what she has done to try again.
Thanks ladies very sound advice, I do not think we will lose our friends over it, but is close run thing!! Richard and OH ARE meeting up next Thursday and I have sent him a friendlier email saying having slept on it probably best we dont see letter.
what a lovely idea Maniac about the candles, I bravely put out phot of DD HER grandad just before he died and our little first grand daughter, it is lovely picture, just for long while we could not bear to see photos of our daughter given all she has done.
I know is hard to anyone to think of this happening to them but seriously I doubt many Mum`s could successfully move on, I suspect I am not hard enough.
Thanks to you all for support