My usless SiL !!!!!

Couldn't you just ignore it?

Perhaps been ignoring it for too long

Never mind leave it

FFS

Nina - sorry to hear about your worries. It sounds as though you feel your sil doesn't pull his weight, and expects others to do what he should be doing. You and your daughter have enough to worry about without having to step in to do something the children's father should be prioritising. Best wishes that the baby gets well soon, and that sil starts fulfilling his responsibilities to his children, and his wife.

Iam64 Thank you for that

nina sorry to hear the little one is back in hospital again, hope things settle down quickly for you all.

All adding to the stress of having a sick baby. I hope the baby is okay now nina and things have sorted themselves out.

It must be very worrying and upsetting for you all Nina and I do hope your DGS is recovering well now. Not knowing any of you personally, particularly your s.i.l I can only see it from how I would react. My DD3's two week old son had whooping cough and was put on a ventilator in the Bristol Children's hospital ( wonderful place). Both parents wanted and needed to be with him and although they took it in turns they had very little sleep for the time he was there.

I understand your worry would be for your DD but there is little we as grandparents can do in these dreadful situations other than support where necessary. Had my daughter had a second, older child then I should have been willing and even grateful to focus on him giving the parents time to put their efforts into the sick child. It would have helped to get me through my own worries. My DGS is now a happy and healthy toddling 18 monther I am pleased to say.

On a slightly lighter side and I hope you don't take this amiss, my daughter has a cat and during those dreadful weeks it was the best fed, loved, cuddled cat ever. It was let out regularly and talked to like a human. The cat and I remain friends still and I don't really 'do' cats.

Sorry, I meant to add for you at this difficult time.

When DS2 was in hospital for 5 weeks at the age of just 2, I was in Birmingham with him for most of that time. When I had a cold, my H took over Meanwhile, DS1 was farmed out with various friends and fortunately the college where H worked had a creche. All GPs lived well away from us. I believe he was the real casualty of the situation although, being a fairly easy going child, he never seemed to begrudge the attention his brother was getting.

Just to let you all know DD and DGS are coming home today with a care plan. They are on standby for the surgery in London.

Of course I'm more than willing to help with child care and do at least 3-4 times every week. It was the fact that SiL collected DGS from me and said he would take him to school the next day and then couldn't be bothered that annoyed me.

That's good news, nina. You sound very busy already with the help you give. Let's hope he bucks his ideas up, otherwise, like in so many separated couples, he will find he isn't needed.

Hope all goes well with the little feller.

You do sound like a lovely nanna.

thanks for the update nina, that's good news.
Your response about being more than willing to help with child care,and doing so at least 3- 4 times a week sounds defensive. It was probably triggered by the comments LizG made about how willing she'd have been in similar circumstances. Perhaps she didn't read the whole thread, and hadn't realised your worry was about your sil not supporting his family properly at this time, and expecting you to do things the majority of father's in his position would be doing, willingly.

Iam64 can I hire you as my spin doctor

I am very sorry my comments caused upset, that is something you certainly do not any of you need at the moment. It just goes to show how thoughts when written down do not necessarily come across as intended. I am very pleased that your DD and DGS are coming home soon.

It looks as things might be improving for you Nina, and I am sure everybody here appreciates what you do for your family and understands why you are annoyed with your SIL.
LizG - I am sure Nina has not taken offence as your comments were kindly meant. I agree that sometimes things don't come out quite as you meant them.

LizG you have nothing to apologize for. But thanks anyway

(((hugs)))

LizG - apologies,I must have misunderstood. I agree, the written word doesn't always accurately reflect the feelings behind it.