I do so agree with you Nelliemoser! Consistency of behaviour and values is so important and I think when the grandchildren are living with you you should be involved in the disciplining, Ascot12. It is easier if it is your DD rather than DIL!
We have a lot of contact with 2 oldest GSs and so have to implement some discipline when they are with us. We set boundaries and they have learnt to accept them. We have a special relationship with them and get a lot of love back.
I must add that DH and I have never used any form of physical punishment with any of our 5 GCs nor would we ever.
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