to be sick of people banging on about "confidence&quo t;?

(Don't know what happened to the thread title, should have just read banging on about "confidence" - sorry! )

Here, here !

Well, all I can say is 'speak for yourself', which of course I know you are, Soutra, but I'm certainly not proficient in all the activities you list!

Even if I were, would that guarantee self-confidence?

I think women, in particular, can have a bit of a crisis of confidence at around retirement age and I find it quite encouraging that there are apparently so many articles addressing the problem.

These mags are all b******s - I ignore them!

You took the words out of my mouth Ana! Although I don't bother to read those sort of articles.

Sponge? Scones? Jams? Chutneys? And KNITTING!
Not this domestic goddess. Prefer to earn the money and get somone else for all that!
I know my limitations and domesticity and me do not belong in the same sentence. (Or should it be domesticity and I?)

Crisis of confidence? *Ana. You? perish the thought.
I based this on the covers and inside articles of Womand & Home ( a magazine I usually have a lot of time for) over the last 3 months:
September - "Dawn French on confidence, shape and being her happiest";
October - Victoria Hislop "I feel much more confident than when I was 15", Fiona Hunter (a nutritionist) " I feel much more confident with my body shape than I did when I was younger."
November - "Confidence - how to build it, radiate it and tap into your own"
Plus some spurious so-called tips to make you more self-confident - e.g. clean hair and mascara (really?) "Arrive slightly early at events, it's the best time to meet strangers." (as long as they have also arrived early) and "Mascara and a smile".

As I see it, all these articles "identifying the problem" seem to be creating something we didn't realise we were suffering from until they told us. Come on, we have lived, been around the block a few times and can suck eggs with the best of other grannies.

No I'm with you. I have SIL who has always uses 'lack of confidence' to duck any task at all - housework, shopping, gardening, cooking her DH does it all while she watches TV.

On another tack I used to love Good Housekeeping but now its full of nice middle class ladies whose 'confidence' has 'soared' since starting up their own on line designer organic ear wash or some other ridiculous product.

Jeni OK, I should have included crocheting, white water luggie slaloming, terrorising cruise ship companies and reducing wine waiters to quivering wrecks ( "Sauvignon blanc? I don't know if we have that in the white"). My examples may not be universal, but you get ny drift (usually to starboard)

Love the example teetime!! One thing I have noticed with a lot of these "started my own business" articles - not infrequently the relevant DH seems to be misaid somewhere along the way

Teetime how much I agree with you about Good Housekeeping. I was offered a year's subscription to a magazine by my bank and I chose GH. I was so disappointed and after glancing through it just gets passed on. Soutra I am just fed up full stop of "celebs" thinking we are remotely interested in their lives,confident or not.I am too busy living my own.

It wasn't me with the Sauvignon, it was one of you others in Birmingham. I'm ALWAYS a at my most frightening charming with sommeliers, after all, they know the best buys!

And I usually drift towards (the) port!

Wasn't it absent?

I don't think it's a lack of confidence. My theory is [and I'm sure I'm wrong ] is that women can always see the other side of a debate and are more empathic than [most] men. Therefore there will always be a slight feeling of 'I could be wrong about this or that' so do not come across as being 100% about what they're saying. And tend to blame themselves a lot of the time. At least, that's how I am about most things. Isn't that why we have the thread that starts [something like] 'Am I being unreasonable about this'?

I discovered while at university that however unconfident I was, and I was, I gave an impression of being confident. I think this applies to most people. Needy people constantly worrying about their lack of confidence going on about it are usually using their perceived lack of confidence as a weapon of emotional manipulation in order to get their own way.

Don't we get more confidence as we get older generally?

I can't do most of the things on Soutra's list but it doesn't bother me NOW! I had no confidence when I was young because my mother always put us all down, all the time but DH's family were the opposite so he has given me more and more confidence over time but I think it comes with experiences as well.

Any way, I'm allergic to mascara

For me, the confidence to stop trying to put mascara on right was a sign of maturity. I stooped quite early, as I found I was like a drunken panda - not a flattering look.

I've never had any confidence. It is the one thing I would wish for a child to have. If you have confidence you can do anything I think. I can do lots of things but I can't say I am very confident in doing them. I have a monthly subscription to Woman & Home (it was a gift from a friend). I don't think I will renew it. I pass it on to my (very down to earth) sister. She said recently 'I appreciate the magazine, thank you but isn't it full of smug women'. I think she is right.

I think with age experience comes the confidence to admit you can't do everything and don't know everything. And teetime wonderful description of the contributors to GH mag these days. Sometimes I fancy a magazine, but never know what to buy these days

I think we should all have confidence in the saying "Mummy knows a lot, but Grandma knows everything".

Btw Wasn't me with the Sauvignon.

Oh, sorry!

I think most of us gain confidence from the fact that we've survived for 60 odd years and no one's found us out yet

Glad it's not just me going off GH and W&H. I've taken out a subscription to Jamie's magazine because I like looking at the pictures. Sometimes I even cook one of the recipes!

I will confess that I am not very good at scones.