I am hoping some of you may be able to offer advice. This is a long one so bear with me - please! I have both daughter and son (both in their 40s). Relationships with my daughter have always been, what I call "egg shell walking" type. Nearly 3 years ago she sent me a 5 page email effectively listing all my faults (and those of her brother) ending with telling me I had been disowned. Since then I have had a few cards (addressed to my christian name). I sent presents for birthdays,Christmas etc etc and would sometimes get a thank you from the grand daughters. Then, suddenly, at the end of last year I had a text from her telling me she had been awarded 1st class MA with distinction. And then over the next couple of months contact via a few texts and cards (nice one for Christmas), thank you letters etc. And then a friend contacted me to tell me they were moving to my home town. And here they now are. The friend emailed me today to say she had had a long conversation with my daughter today - the friend suggested that whatever the problems I was still her mother and she must still have feelings for me. She demurred! Now the dilemma I find myself in is what I do now. After the initial email and cut off I was in a really bad place but with the love of my husband (daughter's step father of 35 years) and my son (who was also disowned!) I have rebuilt my life. I am getting on (71) and although I love my daughter dearly and, of course, my grand daughters, I am not sure that I would survive another knock back. What do I do next? The friend tells me she plans to make contact when my husband is away in April (she can only known about this from my sister who must be in touch with her - unbeknown to me). Do I make contact before this? Do I write saying perhaps better to leave things as they are or do I build a big fort round this latest episode to protect myself. I have done the latter so often. And if we do meet how do I handle it? What do I say to the grand daughters? I have had no real contact since they were small as we lived abroad and daughter would always find a reason not to visit. Please be honest with your views as I would really value unbiased opinions!
Anger management!!! Help needed.