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AIBU

new neighbours do not seem to care

(35 Posts)
mollie65 Wed 01-Apr-15 19:15:47

probably I am being unreasonable - please tell me before I leave them a note reminding them of their joint responsibility

long story short
previous neighbours lovely couple of OAPs and we worked things out amongst ourselves. - they moved out about 2 months ago.
new neighbours still of working age so in and out of our shared driveway (false description should say - mud and gravel farm track.)
in recent high winds a small tree had partly blocked said track which I only noticed when I went shopping (a once a week trip) this morning.
so this evening 'lurch' and I walked to the end of the track and sawed off most of the sticking out branches so that it is not necessary to drive on the field to get past. (I sawed, 'lurch' waited patiently grin)
now the thing is - next door would have driven down the track (2 cars) at least 4 times and did NOTHING about it. - am I right to feel this is a joint responsibility - he is 6 foot tall working man in his 40s and I am a 5ft 2 68-year old pensioner

mollie65 Thu 02-Apr-15 17:09:39

thank you for all your wise words
I have let things lie for the moment and see how their behaviour goes over the summer - least said soonest mended
I think I may have been a bit hmm because my old neighbours would have shouldered a saw and probably been out there getting stuck in before I even knew there was a problem.
I still feel it is a bit of a generational problem and they are in their 'bubble' and not realise that there are others in the world who may find things a bit difficult - and I do hate having to play the 'old' card even to family

Parcs Thu 02-Apr-15 17:21:12

I have really good neighbours and I do worry that they will move out and new not so nice neighbours will move in..but I think its about saying what you need to say in the nicest possible way

HildaW Thu 02-Apr-15 17:40:35

Its all about keeping the lines of communication open and on a bright and breezy level - I've learned that if I'm feeling put upon I sort of radiate that and go around looking glum (which to the outside world looks just plain cross). I just have to remember to straighten up, look a bit more cheerful and put on a bit of a chirpier voice.

I do speak from experience. We were ready to complete on a property when the vendors came clean and told us that relationship between them and neighbours was on a 'solicitors letter' only footing.

OH and I took a collective deep breath and phoned up our soon-to-be new neighbours for a bit of a chat. Long story short...the two chaps had fallen out and the wives were both tearing their hair out. We came in with no preconceptions (and a lot of smiles)....sorted out the main problem (a new fence) and everything was hunkey dory. We were soon firm friends with new neighbours and still keep in touch even after eventually moving on.

rosesarered Fri 03-Apr-15 15:31:19

Never ever, leave a note for neighbours to read!If you have a problem, go to their door and ask them to help when they have time.

Mishap Fri 03-Apr-15 16:46:41

A friend of mine has just moved house because of problem neighbours and she was riven with guilt that the new buyers would have similar trouble, but so desperate that she had to live with the guilt. A very difficult situation.

rosequartz Fri 03-Apr-15 17:52:28

I think you have to declare it now in the contract before they are exchanged.

mollie65 Sat 04-Apr-15 19:10:09

just an update - in case any of you are still wondering how it panned out hmm
didn't contact neighbours as I thought the farmer would probably do his bit (he is the 3rd participant in the farm track )
sure enough today he was out rolling his fields and when I walked (again with 'lurch' (the dog)) to the end of the track the tree was completely cleared (he and his tractor made it easy) - will thank him when I see him outside of his tractor.

HildaW Sun 05-Apr-15 11:31:50

Excellent mollie65....sounds as if you live in a similar area to us.....we just make sure we always look up and smile when we see our farmer neighbour....he's not that communicative beyond a wave and a smile...but if we get snow the old tractor makes a great snow clearing device.

glammanana Sun 05-Apr-15 12:12:16

mollie65 Yes I would see how things go in the next couple of months,if anything similar happens just have a chat with them and ask them if they could help you do "such and such a thing" as you are not as young as you used to be and their help would be gratefully received,let them think they are doing you a favour it makes for good neighbours.(where there's a will there's a way) smile