[tchgrin] All aboard for the GN virtual Christmas Beano (It's just for fun[tchgrin])

Dundee should be about 1.30 maybe. Welcome to join me and possibly accompany me to Dd2's bar which she's opening for a few hours especially for a few older regulars who'll be on their own, plus some students who are far from home!
Can lend you Aonach- a beautiful malamut which looks like a big soft husky - to help with transport.
Will leave you after that to see Dd2 and then wee ones when they return from seeing dad and his parents.

I'm looking forward to it!!

I'll give you DH, I reckon I'll be desperate for some p&q by Boxing Day night, so I'll volunteer his services right now ?

I'm very happy to offer a coffee/tea/wee break here in Wiltshire. Plenty of nibbles too for human and animal participants.

That would probably have you arriving at my house by about 05:00. We could hijack the donkey from the field behind my house. He always seems to be at a loose end, and brays at me regularly. A good trot out would do him good, and I think the pony would be glad of a bit of peace and quiet. Does anyone know where we can get a nosebag?

I volunteer to knit one! Red and white stripes?

What about the goose from 'Enders to help pull ?

Are you going as the sleigh flies ? If so Wiltshire will be the easiest for me to join. So tea and a wee please loopylou
Or can I request a zigzag route that takes in Kent or Sussex. I will tie a large inflatable snowman to the chimney so you can find me.

loopyloo Offer of DH gratefully accepted (we're desperate enough to take anything at the moment - so GN'rs, any more offers of getting your DH out from under your feet tied up usefully for a few hours on The Day would be welcome here. mcem Aonach sounds ideal (hope he's not partial to chickens) hildajenniJ a little donkey would be very appropriate. The goose from Eastenders? I hear aunt Babe has other plans for it...but we can always ask - after all, there's a few grans on EE that may like to come along for the ride.

My geography is useless - is there anyone out there who could draw up a route? I think it will be a straightforward case of following the large inflatable snowmen flying from chimneys.

Stockport has to be in a direct line so I will expect you about early afternoon. I will feed and water (wine etc) you and depending how my day has gone will wave. you on your way or join you for the rest of the journey.

I have a donkey to offer, well he's not strictly mine, but wouldn't be missed as he's been in the field near me for several years. As long as you don't need him for too long. He's a little raggedy but friendly and likes a few treats.

Only possible hiccup is he's in N. Ireland. Would your team be able to make in across the Irish Sea without a pit stop.you could of course use the Isle of Man as a stepping stone.
Just remember that he is very sensitive and will be very strongly offended if anyone calls him Paddy, being from posh end of the village he prefers Patrick. Well.....that's to his friends, to others he's known as Sir Patrick the Nee-Naaaw. I worry in case he might be too much of a diva.

While you are calling for Coolgran would you pick me up please. There are two horses in the field next to me, I am sure that they would not be missed for a day or two. Don't forget to bring plenty of apples, they get sulky if not fed regularly.

No probs nipping over to Ireland. For a week all us GN'rs become Supergrans (who remembers the children's tv programme 'Supergran'?) and nothing is beyond our capabilities. Coolgran65 and hildajenniJ, I'll leave you to chat over donkey strategies, it's nice the donkeys will have company, though if Sir Patrick only brays celtic, could be a problem (note: will need to bring a good stock of Guinness and shamrock)

Not sure what time you will be getting here but no visitor here gets away without having at least one of the pork pies, a slab of stilton, a glass or two from Belvoir brewery and a go at Painting the Town Red. [see you then].

Fantastic idea Bohemian but I'm a bit worried about there only being one wee stop and a communal one at that. Not used to going in public . Other than that really looking forward to it. I've got a Christmas headband with a couple of elves on it so perhaps you could put me on the list as being a sort of elf 'elper!

If you could make a detour to pick me up in Suffolk I should be grateful. I have a new Christmas jumper which I am just waiting to show off. Do I need to bring sandwiches?

Paxo refuses to wear antlers, says it's demeaning to hens and there's clucks of mutiny in the henpen. The sleigh's nearly been kitted out with Santanav (well my old AA road atlas will have to suffice).

I can't find my glasses, so I'd appreciate the help of a navigator? it will involve spotting floating snowmen/women and santa's tied to chimneys. I've been assured by elfinsafety that national airports have been informed of our intended flightpath (though I don't know how they found out, as I haven't a clue where we'll be going) all aviation will be grounded for the night...

I volunteer to be navigator bohemian especially if I can play with the santanav

I can lend you my elf - no idea where his trousers went but cooking is a tricky thing !!

ninathenana thanks for your offer, the Santanavs all yours.

Not a lot of response here, looks like it may be just thee and me - still gal, we know how to party eah.

NanaandGrampy Trouserless elves are always useful additions to any sleigh, so he should be fine unless he needs a wee, but then again, it's going to rain tomorrow, so no one underneath will notice a few yellow raindrops amongst the silver. Cooking shouldn't be a problem...does he like henfeed? Paxo and Stuffing have plenty...if not, there may be some rather rotten carrots left over from the donkeys?

I believe he's planning on bringing his chocolate elf house to keep him going , he might even be persuaded to share . But if not I do a mean packed lunch !!

I asked him about the missing trousers and he said it's ok , he's got his pants on because his 'skittles' get cold !!

So , I hope there's a rug on the sleigh! After all chilly skittles are to be avoided at all costs !!

You won't catch up with Santa. He has started on his journey - about to reach Minsk, Belarus.
Heading For Tartu, Estonia in 1 minutes.

Heading for Helsinki now.

Passed that, off to Riga.

Blimey Elegran I hope the traffic police catch up with Speeding Santa, they should put a few points on his licence.
Our sleigh ride will be far more sedate (I'm not sure how fast 2 donkeys, 2 hens, 2 ponies, a trouserless elf, a malamut and an off duty DH can go). There will be plenty of stops at watering holes on the way, with wee stops when required.

DUCK!!! what was THAT???

A red Porsch just zoomed by, driven by what definitely looks like a Grandad wearing a red pullly with white nylon trimming, 'Yo-Ho'Ho-ing' and flinging things from a big plastic sack into peoples gardens, he should be breathalyzed. There's some idiots on the roads these days...