I have a deep dislike of my daughter's partner. I really tried hard to get along with him , especially when my new grandchild arrived (their only child together). But he very quickly reverted to his despicable behaviour, he's a nasty little man, to my daughter. He's a bully in every sense of the word. I CANNOT continue being nice. I won't have him in my home & I won't visit her if he's there. She completely understands this. I will never give up or make her choose, that's not my place, she's my daughter and I love her, but I couldn't stand in a church & watch her marry him if it ever came to it.
If your friend and her family dislike this man so much (for reasons that are unclear) why would they want to celebrate a marriage???
If he hasn't actually done anything and it's only that his family MAY have a criminal element then your friend and her family are judgemental and deserved not to be invited.
I wonder what they would be doing in my shoes? Where I know he's assaulted my dd, smashed her house up, keeps her skint, takes class A drugs, calls her names????
She is very lucky she's seeing her grandchildren.