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AIBU

To think this is just not acceptable (NHS related)

(146 Posts)
maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:33:44

British woman of 50 with three grown up children and several grandchildren goes to Cyprus for IVF. Comes home and has quads all delivered and( currently) in SCBU ( costs well over £1000 pd per baby) all on NHS. Sarah M on World at One described story as heartwarming - I am speechless.

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:34:39

Her husband is father of all 7 children btw

Ilovecheese Thu 08-Nov-18 13:42:42

What would you prefer to happen to the babies?

EllanVannin Thu 08-Nov-18 13:46:33

Once upon a time the woman would have been billed. It doesn't sound as though the woman has dual nationality either ?
My daughter who lives in Australia 30 years ago came to the UK to have her 2nd child. Because she held 2 passports UK and Australia ( as a citizen who'd taken the oath ) the bill for her care etc here was sent to Australia.
When I've been to Australia I've immediately signed up with medicash----just in case. Nothing free there !

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:46:57

She should have to pay the costs for her and their care herself - she’ll be making plenty from interviews etc. That would then hopefully deter others. It’s like people who go abroad for various cosmetic procedures and the NHS has to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong

EllanVannin Thu 08-Nov-18 13:49:32

I'm not sure of any reciprocal agreements between Cyprus and the UK. I doubt it though.
Then again,our family have never " had ow't for now't "

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:50:31

She’s a British resident so all is free. How jolly nice. I know nothing can be done about this but really SM and BBC a heartwarming story? Not a story of selfish greedy entitlement taking away resources from others?

FarNorth Thu 08-Nov-18 13:50:46

She is British and is now in Britain and her babies need medical care.
Maybe she shouldn't have gone abroad and got IVF but lots of people have NHS treatment which is needed because of things they shouldn't have done e.g. dangerous driving, drug taking, etc etc.

PECS Thu 08-Nov-18 13:51:36

It is always that issue: just because you can, should you?

What she has done is her personal right to do. It is my opinion that she has chosen a selfish route.
She wanted another child/ren so paid for that possibility. She is, as are the babies, entitled to free healthcare. I guess the IVF could not guarantee any baby an if it had been just one we would probably not be discussing this! But four IVF babies, to a mother who has already had a family and is with the same partner, taking valuable resources can appear thoughtless!
But in the end the babies need healthcare. There is no way she can be expected to pay. It is a moral conundrum!

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:51:55

She went to Cyprus for the IVF as it would not have been allowed here - it’s happened before especially with older mothers and multiple egg transplantation

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:53:01

It’s not heartwarming though is it and it shouldn’t be being presented in a positive way?

Riverwalk Thu 08-Nov-18 13:57:04

It's very self-indulgent of a woman of that age who already has children and grandchildren to have IVF but, as the babies now exist and need help then it's appropriate for the NHS to care for them. What else would you suggest?

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 14:00:23

I’m not suggesting they shouldn’t get the care but I am saying it’s utterly morally reprehensible and she should not be being feted in the tabloid press and on the BBC. I’d be grateful if there were just some MSM criticism.

Nannarose Thu 08-Nov-18 14:00:56

I would imagine that she paid privately in Cyprus. However 'unacceptable' this is, the babies now have to be cared for.
The problem with 'billing' her is that if she (and her OH) end up bankrupt, they may be a bigger burden on the State (which does happen in many countries). A civilised country would not allow sub-standard care for those babies.
As I do not use my real name, or say where I live, I feel I can disclose that I have dealt with families with similar stories (although fewer babies). I had one family where the babies ended up taken into care because the parents couldn't cope, and a few who became homeless because of the costs they had incurred.
Whilst there are medical facilities anywhere in the world that will perform this procedure, and who do no checks on families' ability to cope financially, emotionally or socially, there is very little that can be done to prevent this.

I do agree that 'no publicity' might help, but of course, we have press freedom!

paddyann Thu 08-Nov-18 14:02:41

are you saying the babies should be allowed to die ?

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 14:02:50

I agree FN but does MSM fete these people and have them shown in a positive light on the main radio bulletin of the day?

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 14:03:55

Don’t be so ridiculous paddyann Iam saying she is a selfish entitled woman and the BBC coverage is a damn disgrace.

Riverwalk Thu 08-Nov-18 14:09:59

She went to Cyprus for the IVF as it would not have been allowed here

That's not true - IVF is available only up to age 42 on the NHS but there are a number of cases of women in their 50s having private treatment in the UK.

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 14:13:41

But not 4 embryos being transplanted I think. And IVF here isn’t automatically allowed up to 42 on the NHS ( post code lottery) and certainly not when you already have 3 children.

Riverwalk Thu 08-Nov-18 14:21:56

I didn't say it was automatically allowed - was responding to your claim that she went to Cyprus because it she wasn't allowed at her age.

I'm surprised at how exercised you are at another woman's reproduction. She is after all 'only' 50 and has a husband.

There are any number of obese, drunks, addicts, smokers, etc who cost the NHS a lot of money …. that's just the way it is.

FarNorth Thu 08-Nov-18 14:23:13

No, it's not heart warming.
And the babies may yet have disability or health conditions because she chose to do that.
The babies should have NHS care but the parents & doctors who created the pregnancy were being irresponsible.

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 14:55:20

Riverwalk I’m not exercised about her reproductive choices per se ( I think that’s a different discussion). But I am exercised that she can make those choices and receive all the care after the IVF on the NHS and for the BBC to present it in a totally positive way.

M0nica Thu 08-Nov-18 15:13:20

With the damage being done to this planet by over-population (the main cause of global warning), that someone could be so selfish as to bring more children into the world, when the production of those children is contributing to population growth and further world wide environmental degradation, not to mention making the world they will live in worse, shows just how selfish some people are. By having three children she has already exceeding the population replacement rate for her and her husband

I would limit all child benefit to two children per family, unless the second birth is a multiple birth. These children should, of course be cared for now they are here, get education, medical care and everything else - eventually pensions etc, but no child benefit.

Riverwalk Thu 08-Nov-18 15:18:21

But I am exercised that she can make those choices and receive all the care after the IVF on the NHS

Maryeliza but she is no different from those who choose to not address their obesity or stop smoking - I'm sure they cost the NHS way more than the odd self-indulgent 50-something who has IVF.

And what about all the drunks who take up enormous amounts of NHS time and resources late at night and, into the bargain assault the staff - can't be many IVF mothers who attack First Responders and A&E staff.

And those who choose to continue to smoke?

How would you like the BBC to present her?

maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 15:40:43

Firstly River not everyone who is obese or has substance abuse problems is to ‘blame ‘ for their health problems - it’s often much more complex than that. And if you feel like that what about those who injure themselves in dangerous sports and a whole raft of other leisure activities freely chosen? Just regular running can lead to all sorts of joint problems. As for the BBC I would have liked them not to have covered it at all but if they did to put it into the context of the IVF guidelines in this country including especially not transferring more than one embryo and never 4 even privately.