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AIBU

Surprise Party Invitation

(64 Posts)
Grandmarnia Thu 22-Nov-18 21:26:17

If you received an invitation to a party headed "Surprise Party", would you assume that the birthday person did not know about the party and that it was err a surprise?
My husband attends a weekly art class and had a significant birthday on Tuesday. Invitations were emailed to all art class members from myself to attend a Surprise Birthday Tea this coming Saturday.
I have received some replies.
Today, my husband has come home from the art class asking me what is happening on Saturday? One bloddy woman has said "I've received an invitation to your house for a "do" on Saturday, are you looking for to it?"
I am so cross!
My AIBU is.. would I be unreasonable to email all the members again to say that I don't appreciate the Surprise Party now not being a surprise or do I ignore it.
Why would someone do this?
I have spent months organising this Surprise Party and have relatives travelling here, his old work colleagues are coming and I have managed to keep it all hush hush and now today this!

Grandmarnia Fri 23-Nov-18 17:22:58

Thank you for all your replies - I have kept stum and husband has not said anything else today.

I have had an email from one of the members confirming her attendance with the words "I hope it is still a surprise" so after the event I will be asking hubby for confirmation of who let the slip (or not, if the same woman)!

Just waiting for his brothers and sister to arrive from Scotland - he doesn't know they are coming too, so tonight will be the best surprise smile

Husband very chilled watching tv in his room whilst I run around with a duster getting the cobwebs woven overnight as I must have missed them yesterday!

8 more minutes and I have promised myself a little drink for my nerves smile

Grandmarnia Fri 23-Nov-18 17:24:08

Driverann that has made me laugh.

NotSpaghetti Fri 23-Nov-18 17:36:17

I'm with dragonfly46, NanaRayna, Aepgirl and others - not keen on surprise celebratory events of any sort. Would think it would be annoying though if you are organising one and someone tells!

Our children, then in their teens and 20s arranged a mega 25th wedding anniversary surprise party for my husband and I - but in the end had to tell us about it as they discovered we wanted a really quiet day, just the two of us, and we'd booked a romantic dinner somewhere special.

Lots of people came to the "surprise" that we hadn't seen for years - but I'm glad the family won't do that again.

TrazzerMc Fri 23-Nov-18 18:46:11

That’s exactly what I would do

Jaxie Fri 23-Nov-18 19:19:22

This happened to me when I organised a surprise party for my husband's 80th birthday. A friend phoned up from France, he answered and she told him she couldn't come to his party. He had a tantrum and said he didn't want the party. I insisted and in the end it went well. However, the old grump insisted on wearing a pair of my shorts and a shirt with holes ( it was a hot day) but most of the other guests had made an effort. I don't actually think I would like a surprise party myself now though...

glammagran Fri 23-Nov-18 19:31:47

We once went to a carefully planned 40th birthday held in a hall. The wife of the (prickly) husband invited ex-work colleagues and assorted relatives he hadn’t seen for years. Though he made no comment it was very apparent he was utterly furious. Everyone knew he liked whisky - he must have had in excess of 20 bottles given as presents.

Melanieeastanglia Fri 23-Nov-18 19:53:57

I can definitely see why you're cross but, if you email the whole Art class, you may cause a bad atmosphere for the future when your husband goes to his classes. Some people who didn't let out the surprise may be offended.

I'd let it go. Try and cover things up. I do hope the party goes well.

DoraMarr Sat 24-Nov-18 11:17:01

My friend, a quiet, rather reserved woman, had a special birthday. On the morning her husband made no mention of it, and went off to work announcing that he would be playing five- a -side football as usual that evening. My friend came home from work, had dinner with the children, and, feeling miserable, had a long hot bath, with a face pack on. She was just eating chocolates in front of the television, wearing her dressing gown and feeling utterly miserable,when her husband arrived with a babysitter, and persuaded her to get dressed and come with him for a curry. She put on a sweatshirt and jeans, didn’t brother with makeup on her slightly blotchy post-face pack face, and walked into the curry restaurant to be greeted by “surprise! ” from dozens of well-dressed friends. She burst into tears and ran home. Her husband asked me later “I can’t understand her, why wasn’t she pleased?”

callgirl1 Sat 24-Nov-18 16:53:39

One of my daughters booked a Caribbean cruise a year early as a surprise for her hubby`s 50th birthday. Their son was 8 when it was booked, knew all about it for the whole year, but never let on to his dad. I don`t think any of my kids could have held onto a secret all that time.

Riggie Sat 24-Nov-18 17:28:26

Perhaps she read it as "Surprise!! (It's a) party" in the sense that she thought the invitation was a surprise??

Grandma70s Sun 25-Nov-18 14:58:34

DoraMarr, that’s exactly how I would react if anyone did a surprise party for me. I’d be absolutely horrified. Does anyone actually enjoy that sort of surprise?

Elrel Sun 25-Nov-18 15:17:52

I went to a surprise party arranged by a friend's partner. He was a very sociable man, she loved organising events. We duly hid in their home when we heard a key in the lock. When the light was switched on in the room where we were hiding we leapt up and sang 'Happy Birthday' to a man who appeared frozen with horror. They weren't together for much longer!

Grammaretto Sun 25-Nov-18 16:18:19

Our friends' grown AC organised a surprise silver wedding party for their parents. It was like a military operation. We got an invitation with instructions in the post to say nothing and to meet their son in a nearby pub along with other guests.

Their neighbours had invited them to dinner so they were poshed up and his siblings were prettying the house for when we were all going to arrive and hide in darkness and quiet.
It nearly went wrong because the couple didn't see why they were being dragged away from their dinner party when they hadn't eaten yet to see a special present! What was so important? and why no cooking smells?
She told us later that she was suddenly terrified that they'd bought her a puppy because she'd been saying how lonely she got when they were away at uni.

Grandmarnia I hope your DH surprise party is fun. Look forward to hearing about it.