You don’t have to get on once the children are adults. Then you can have a clean break. I’m debating the idea that Op should not say anything to appease her daughter. She should absolutely speak up and forbid her Ex from her home. He has no need to be there and she should not put up with it. No need for any arguments or bad feelings.
What were the first ever records that you bought and when?
Parents-in-Law. What do/did you call them?