Hi wondered if anyone can help give me some advice. I was previously in a controlling and manipulative marriage with 3 DC’s, the eldest of which my DD suffered badly from her father, and I thought I had protected them all and had no knowledge at the time of what he had done to her. She ran away 8 years ago and I didn’t see her for five years (and three days - yes I was counting). He has not let me contact her or talk about her during her absence. Photos weren’t even allowed of her in the house. I cried about her all the time and secretly carried a photo of her in my purse - I desperately missed her. After he had finally gone I managed to get a message to her after spending months trying to trace her I eventually managed to get away from him and the day she got the message she turned up at my door. That was three years ago. I was so delighted to see her and then so devastated by what she told me of what he done. Anyway police etc then involved and he is now nothing to do with any of the children. She said she didn’t blame me, she knew I never knew and she hadn’t been able to tell me as she believed his threats to me and her siblings, based on what he had done to her - the evil b*****d. She had gone to another family for a period of time who did look after well and she calls them Mum and Dad (she does also call me Mum). I appreciate she was with them for three years and then independent for another two however they have remained in contact and they have been good to her and O am grateful for them doing so. Last year she had a baby - my lovely DGS - and I was thrilled and supportive and she and her DP come round and all was well. I was also going over to her flat in another town and everything seemed to be going well. Earlier this year they moved into a house in the same town as her “other” family and she then admitted that she hasn’t told them that she was back in contact with me and that she didn’t want me to come to the new house, wouldn’t meet me in that town and that she would come to me only to visit. She has done so regularly and has been fine with me except when I said that I was upset that I was allowed to visit her there. She said that she would sort it when she was ready and got very defensive but hasn’t said anything more since. On Friday she was over again, and told me how her DP’s parents were over this weekend and how much her DP’s father “loves cooking Sunday dinner in their kitchen for them” and he has done so regularly. That hurt me so much that they are able to visit regularly and be more of their lives. I have been helping them financially, stored things at my house to save them money on storage fees they were paying when collecting things for the new house and paid for them to go on holiday. I get on well with her DP and before this that we had got a good relationship back over the last couple of years. I feel so let down that I am now excluded from their home and lives in this way but daren't rock the boat as I can’t bear the thought of losing her again and not seeing my DGS. WWYD?
Scottish island ferries debacle. 🏴