Marjgran, yes it's a long journey when unwell and disabled, I think I only saw my FIL twice last year because of it, which makes me very sad. I've seen him once since Christmas, for my granddaughter's 1st birthday, but he stayed overnight with us so we did share some time together. If he was closer it would be so different. I had to move with my husband's work 35 years ago and in doing so left my parents 500 miles away, at that time I could still travel easily so we'd see them a couple of times a year but as the years went by that changed too and it was at stage when I could only cope with visiting my mum once a year, I didn't get to see her in the 11 months before she died but it couldn't be helped, we spoke daily until she went into hospital for what was to be her final 6 weeks, that was a dreadful time but heavy, prolonged snow also played its part in not letting us travel to visit her, she passed away in early hours of the day we were going to travel to see her, life can be very cruel at times but it couldn't be helped. At least we all got there for the funeral as the weather had then improved. At least my DH can go to see his Dad now and again but I don't think people appreciate how exhausting it is for him to be my carer, in addition to being my husband, and working, also being a very involved Granddad to 2 little children, one with health issues, and being a supportive son from 40 miles away; it's a case of so near and yet so far, these things vary according to our individual needs. The previous 30 mile journey didn't seem far when we were young and my health wasn't of so much concern, that different route and extra mileage, the change in our circumstances, now make it extremely difficult. It could've been so different but it isn't so we just have to work with how things are.