It been a very tough year. My DH died last May and my 2 friends have been so supportive. We've known each other for about 40 years! We had arranged to go for a (socially distanced ) walk tomorrow just the 3 of us. for a catch up as 2 of us haven't seen each other since lock down. I must admit I've really been struggling over the last few weeks and so looked forward to the joy and balm of dear friends I could just be myself with. They won't care if I cry or get upset . About an hour ago one messaged to say is it ok if her husband comes. Much as I like him I hoped it would be just the 3 of us. Then my other friend said oh well my partner might as well come too.
Feel quite tearful now - and cross with myself for feeling like this. I had so looked forward to it but don't really want to go now as it's turned into another occasion where I will have to hind my true feelings and put on my upbeat act again.
To obliterate your address on packaging