Gransnet forums

AIBU

To feel that now Lockdown is easing the DH show is back on the road?

(21 Posts)
merlotgran Tue 21-Jul-20 10:25:00

Don't get me wrong. I love him dearly and know how lucky I am to still have him with me after two recent serious infections but during Lockdown when all outpatients and GP appointments were cancelled there was a feeling of calm and no pressure.

Last week the phone was ringing every day with rescheduled appointments etc., and I suddenly started to feel anxious which is most unlike me.

So, this morning I've driven DH to the GP surgery for his B12 jab, tomorrow morning it will be off to the fishing tackle shop then down to the river to meet his friends. I then get a few hours of 'me' time which will mean housework or maybe an expeditionary trip to Aldi, armed with mask, gloves, gel etc. I'll then pick him up again at 4.30pm.

Thursday I'll be driving back to the surgery to collect a prescription that wasn't ready today.

Friday will be an early morning conference call with one of the consultants from Addenbrookes.

I shouldn't moan but when I looked on facebook this morning I saw some lovely pics of DD, on holiday in Snowdonia, sitting in a hot tub, glass of bubbly in hand, gazing at the mountain view. envy

I sighed and muttered, 'I wish something nice would happen.' DH's reply? 'Why, has something horrible happened?'

He just doesn't get it. grin

Teetime Tue 21-Jul-20 10:34:00

merlotgran he sounds like a real survivor- I hope he enjoys his fishing and you get some 'me time' horrible phrase but you know what I mean.

Riverwalk Tue 21-Jul-20 10:37:41

Just wondering why you have to collect a prescription from the surgery, or do you mean the prescribed medications?

And, can't one of his fishing pals give him a lift home?

merlotgran Tue 21-Jul-20 10:42:25

Sorry, Riverwalk. I meant his prescribed meds.

No. He can't go in anyone else's car yet. He's still shielding so the only way he can go fishing is if I take and fetch him. Social distancing is easy on the river bank so no probs there.

It's good for his mental health. grin

MawB Tue 21-Jul-20 10:43:08

Bless him!
They don’t “get it” do they? grin
I remember those sorts of days only too well but I would say do try to schedule some activities just for you, because if you “wait until you’ve got a moment” you’ll still be waiting at Christmas!
I used to “ring fence” Monday afternoons for my Art History course - but it could just as easily have been the art of zen motorcycle maintenance or underwater basket weaving. It was MINE!

Callistemon Tue 21-Jul-20 10:50:38

Riverwalk

Just wondering why you have to collect a prescription from the surgery, or do you mean the prescribed medications?

And, can't one of his fishing pals give him a lift home?

We often have to collect a prescription from the surgery and then go to the chemist's for the medication.

Sometimes the surgery will take a bundle of prescriptions to the local chemist and you can pick up the medication from there, but not always.

Don't push him into the river merlogran
Even if you are tempted.

One of DH's favourite phrases seems to be 'Are we eating today?'
To which the only reply can be 'No, I'm on a diet'.

Riverwalk Tue 21-Jul-20 10:59:36

Callistemon your GP and/or pharmacy are very behind the times!

I would have thought most practices send prescriptions electronically direct to your chosen pharmacy - the system has been around for more than 10 years I would say.

Lucca Tue 21-Jul-20 11:03:30

Riverwalk

Callistemon your GP and/or pharmacy are very behind the times!

I would have thought most practices send prescriptions electronically direct to your chosen pharmacy - the system has been around for more than 10 years I would say.

Agree. It in my town my surgery does the electronic thing but my partners does not he has to go and order a prescription then go an collect it etc etc. Can’t see why all,surgeries can’t get on board with it.

Babyshark Tue 21-Jul-20 11:39:05

Can he not drive himself? Your routine sounds exhausting and you need to prioritise your wants and needs.

tanith Tue 21-Jul-20 11:49:36

I too wonder why you don’t order online then get meds delivered it saves going to the surgery and pharmacy I thought most places did this now.
Enjoy your free time.

merlotgran Tue 21-Jul-20 13:15:42

DH can no longer drive, Babyshark because he had a stroke ten years ago which, although a mild one, robbed him of his peripheral vision.

tanith, I order the meds online and during Lockdown some kind people from the parish council have been delivering them to shielding patients. He needed a top up of something so we said we'd collect it ourselves this time as we were going there anyway. Unfortunately it wasn't ready but never mind.

I did think about pharmacy direct but wanted to carry on supporting the dispensary at our rural practice.

What I really need is a nice pub lunch! grin

Callistemon Tue 21-Jul-20 13:18:45

Riverwalk

Callistemon your GP and/or pharmacy are very behind the times!

I would have thought most practices send prescriptions electronically direct to your chosen pharmacy - the system has been around for more than 10 years I would say.

They can't make their minds up!
I think it depends who is on.

Actually, we do have new doctors as the (wonderful) old ones all retired. When I asked the receptionist the other day if a prescription I needed could be sent to the chemist's she said 'No'. When I phoned up to see if I should collect the prescription from the surgery, another receptionist told me it had gone down to the chemist!!

Smileless2012 Tue 21-Jul-20 13:25:51

You certainly have a busy schedule merlotgran and I do hope you don't have to wait too long for that nice pub lunch.

In the mean timewinecupcake and flowers; you deserve all 3.

Purplepixie Tue 21-Jul-20 17:55:43

Merlotgran - I’m sending you love and hugs. Some men just don’t get it.

Urmstongran Tue 21-Jul-20 18:29:09

I think that photograph of someone ‘chilling out’ just made you grumpy merlotgran because (as yet) you’ve not carved out your own ‘me’ time. Dropping off a husband then going home to do housework whilst he fishes doesn’t seem very fair. I bet your husband doesn’t even expect that of you! No wonder you feel hard done by.

Next time, put on the Netflix and open a box of chocolates/a bottle of wine and chill out.

It’s not selfish. It’s called being happy - doing what we’d like whilst others are doing the same!

Don’t make a martyr of yourself.

merlotgran Tue 21-Jul-20 19:24:02

Thanks, Urmstongran but after four months of Lockdown I'm all Netflixed out. grin

Calpurnia Wed 22-Jul-20 18:48:16

I really feel your frustration Merlotgran (and have always enjoyed your previous posts),

I was in the same situation starting three years ago ferrying my husband from one appointment to another one clinic to a variety of them - often juggling several appointments on a single day.

How I know how frustrating it was. I’m had to give up classes I enjoyed, going to choir, casually meeting with friends last minute. How I longed for even a tiny bit of “time off”.

I used to joke that I had paid towards an extension at the hospital we bought so very many cups of tea - and toasted tea cakes at the little cafe run by friends of the hospital.

My husband realised how much he depended on me ferrying him - as well as scheduling all his many appointments and was grateful.

There were inpatient stays toon- sadly far too many of them where I happily sat with him (he was very poorly) during the days - often late into the evening.

I certainly did have the (more than) odd meltdown with all the effort it took to say nothing of the mental juggling sorting every visit.

How I blithely used to wonder what a “day off to myself” would be like........

Well now I know and believe me it ....... sorry .... I do not have the words to describe how sad and lonely it is now. It is 14 weeks (tomorrow) since my husband died. Every day when I wake up my first thought still is “Where are we going today - who is coming here.......” my brain is still in appointment overdrive.

So Merlotgran as Maw said you need to try and ringfence some time for yourself as I know how draining constantly being responsible is. You owe it to yourself to have some “down time” or you really run the risk of burning out.

Let’s hope your husband’s health improves and you can reclaim some time for yourself - this is very important and hopefully you will deal with the busier days. Good luck!

grandtanteJE65 Wed 22-Jul-20 18:51:17

Have British GPs not heard of the Internet?

Here they e-mail prescriptions to the chemist of your choice!

diygran Wed 22-Jul-20 19:34:03

Sorry to hear you're feeling stressed Merlotgran.
Life isn't easy when our other halfs start to have health concerns and depend on us more. Trying to find some time for meeting your own friends, starting a new hobby or going a walk on your own just to get out of the house, are needed to give you breathing space.
Personally I enjoy gardening or reading. My husband has been ill since early lockdown, been in hospital for operation and now has painful symptons everyday.
Our life is very limited at moment and we are still shielding. But I'm very thankful he is still here and the thought of losing him brings me to tears. Count your blessings Merlotgran and hopefully your situation will ease.

merlotgran Wed 22-Jul-20 20:11:06

Thank you, everyone.

I'm sorry to hear of your sadness, Calpurnia and believe me I do count my blessings. I was just having an off day.

Anyway, I dropped his Lordship off by the river this morning and went to Aldi. It's amazing how easy it is to be cheered up when you save £30 on your weekly shop. grin

My first trip out since Lockdown began had me 'mask spotting' I gave them marks out of five for usefulness, trendiness, whether or not I want one just like it and 'do you know how daft you look?'

I've just ordered an understated, sage green, washable 'mouth and nose' cover. Just in case I'm not sure where to put it I suppose.

I think I might go for polka dots next. grin

Grammaretto Thu 23-Jul-20 09:15:51

Calpurnia What a lovely, brave letter.

I also miss the get-togethers with pals and trips into "town". I only ever seem to go to the hospital with DH. But he is poorly so I am not allowed to feel sorry for myself (but I do)

We have just been for a weekend away which was brilliant. I managed to book a self- catering cottage by the sea for a weekend. I highly recommend it. It was still just the 2 of us but somehow perked us both up.

Look after the Carers and you are one, so look after yourself.