I hate to think of her being rude because she's a lovely person and generally very kind but she can be a bit thoughtless sometimes without meaning to.
I don't want to not include her in future because it would hurt and upset her unnecessarily and I'd feel I was being vengeful and spiteful. I couldn't do that to someone who means a lot to me. I was just hurt and taken aback that she seemed to be dismissing our outing so easily without thought to my feelings.
Yes, to be fair, she has paid for it.
She was not only happy for me to get the tickets, we'd been talking about going for a while and she seemed really happy that I'd taken on the job of booking.
Her life is busier and more social than mine, but her plans don't include her husband (long story). Because she's now so busy, I don't get to see her that much now. Maybe I'm a teensy bit envious (yes, I know I shouldn't be, but I'm basically rather insecure and though I try hard not to be, it's something I struggle with). I don't ever want that to influence our friendship because that is my problem.
13 years ago I had a devastating split with a long term close friendship for which I accept much of the responsibility. Mentally I was going downhill for a while because the friendship was becoming toxic for me for reasons I won't go into (and I'm certain for her too) but I was really trying to keep my own insecurities hidden and not allow them to affect this friend. Unfortunately my worsening depression and anxiety contributed to me losing that battle. Following the break, I was unwell for a few years and had therapy which made me feel a lot worse. Finally I began to feel a lot better, with the right meds and time passing, family support and that of the few loyal friends I still had and cherished. It had all coincided with serious family problems, an assault on my daughter and a subsequent court case. Things seem to come all at once sometimes, and though I struggled on with it all at the time, I think I wasn't up to the task of riding the storm!
Anyway - that's just sketchy background, and though I'm far, far stronger and happier now in some ways, I still get flashbacks of former dark times and it affects how I see things. I also find it hard to know whether I'm being unreasonable or not in feeling as I do.
Thank you all for your insight and thoughts.