Noise and smoking nextvdoir

Toadinthehole

Yes, we’ve had to deal with students from time to time. More understandable as they’re so much younger. What often worked for us, if they were outside, was to say their voices travel at night, and we can hear every word. That seemed to embarrass them, and they always stopped. Nowadays, they’re always plugged into something. We don’t hear much at all.

Whether it would work for this man, I don’t know. His generation were the first age group we started getting students in our area, and they tended to be noisier. This was 15 years ago. For the last 10 years or so, it’s been getting much quieter.

Somehow, you need to make him feel silly, too old for this, embarrass him. Of course, the parents are a good first step.

In our first house we had awful neighbours, constant shouting, arguing and loud, long parties every weekend. We went to work abroad and deliberately rented our house to a group of male students, expecting them to have a similar loud lifestyle! Sadly, another neighbour told us they were lovely lads, they only saw them at the weekend when they were cutting our grass!

In our previous house the son of the neighbours kept his boy-racer in his parents' garage, he would come every morning at around 2am, loud exhaust booming, park on the sloping drive, crash the garage door open, rev his car for a couple of minutes, get the car into the garage then slam it shut.
He then decided to do some work on his car on the parents' drive, he parked it sideways with the rear almost in our window and revved it for half an hour. When I slammed the window closed, it was mid Summer, he came round and called me a racist, they were, I believe, Hong King Chinese, to which I replied No, but with you I could make an exception.
That seemed to shock him, the problem was that his parents were lovely people but were rarely around when all this was going on. Neighbours with very young children were also abused when they asked him to be quieter during the night.

I had neighbours who liked drum and bass at silly o'clock at night. Oddly they didn't like the drummers of Barundi at 7 in the morning

He has been asked many many times but just ignores repeated requests. Even when there was a seriously ill and elderly man living on the other side of them who was just out of hospital he ignored desperate requests to keep the noise down.

As a teenager the police were called to the house on several occasions (not by us) but it stíll didn't stop him.

Infinity, that made me laugh

Next time this happens why not try some reverse psychology? Try going round and knocking in the door, ask if everything is ok because you heard all the racket and thought there was a riot going on and wondered if he was in danger! When he says no, just politely ask him to tone it down a bit, please. No harm in trying.

Beswitched - the heat has made me lose the plot. I actually thought you’d said you’d put a heavy rock ( as in a large stone ) on your laptop and put it in the wardrobe. I was trying to work out why on earth that would be of annoyance to him.
Dear Lord - next stop for me will be the funny farm at this rate.

Well if he’s 35 it’s a long time since he was a teenager ? so if it’s only now and then don’t let it wind you up into a spin relax about it it’s obviously not an every day occurance

In all the years have you ever just gone round politely to ask them to turn the music down , do they even know it bothers you?

Yes don't normally do this tit for tat. I just lie there in bed imagining what I would like to do
In fairness the banging on the walls sounded like a hammer and some DIY work going on, not something he could definitely know was deliberate retaluation.
Anyhow his car is gone so presumably he got a rude awakening and decided to go home to get some sleep. Hopefully he has got the message.
As he was drinking from 3 yesterday afternoon until the small hours of this morning, he had better hope there were no Sunday morning checkpoints en route.

I understand where you’re coming from but really retaliatory action will just increase the whole thing and make for real bad feeling The kids next door to me (theres 8) a lot grown and flown now but they have their boom boom music (not overly loud) but I can hear it over the tv and between that an the cannabis smells The other side have had a bbq and people round every day this month and the kids balls are constantly coming over the wall but honestly it’s just living isn’t it

I really don’t think it’s worth getting in a stew over

Let it go as the song goes the party isn’t an everyday happening if he’s left home so when you see a party starting go into the back room and sleep comfortably

Yes, we’ve had to deal with students from time to time. More understandable as they’re so much younger. What often worked for us, if they were outside, was to say their voices travel at night, and we can hear every word. That seemed to embarrass them, and they always stopped. Nowadays, they’re always plugged into something. We don’t hear much at all.

Whether it would work for this man, I don’t know. His generation were the first age group we started getting students in our area, and they tended to be noisier. This was 15 years ago. For the last 10 years or so, it’s been getting much quieter.

Somehow, you need to make him feel silly, too old for this, embarrass him. Of course, the parents are a good first step.

Do his parents know he does this? I’d be so embarrassed it was one of my ‘ children’. Yes, please don’t get into this ping pong of getting your own back. They won’t care...and it might make it more difficult with your neighbours. You need to be the bigger person.
Start with the parents, and then maybe you could ask they go to the bottom of the garden next time. Or the very least, let you know in advance. If it’s not regular, I would try to live with it.
It sounds daft to me, a man his age needing his mum and dad’s place to party!!

I think when you are caring for someone with very little respite, this kind of thing pushes all your buttons because you are tired and need a break. It DOES sound like he needs to grow up too. My neighbours son and his girlfriend have spent last week smoking weed in the back garden whilst his parents have been away but they are young and our houses are spaced out enough to not let it bother us too much. If you are closer together housing wise, I expect more consideration especially as he is thirty bloody 5

Once you’ve made a “tit for tat” scenario, there’s no going back because they’ll say you’re just as bad if you challenge them in the future.
In your shoes I’d have a word with mum & dad but the phone number withheld is a good idea because they won’t know it’s you.
I hope you get some respite tonight (Sunday) & are able to get the rest and sleep you need. Using another room might also be the best idea.

He is 35 and he doesn't even live there. Also it is not a one off but has been going on for about 20 years on and off now.

No wonder neighbours fall out with each other. It is a one off as his parents are away. Let it go!

I've actually put heavy rock on the laptop and put it inside the wardrobe against the adjoining wall. I've also been going around banging against the adjoining walls with a pole. Hopefully the ignorant pratt is awake and nursing a heavy hangover.

Maybe tell the other neighbours why you are doing this and explain it will be an experiment to see if they get the hint.

Unfortunately we have other houses beside us and behind us. Otherwise I'd be out now blasting music around the garden, mowing the lawn, beeping the car horn etc

When I had problems with noise from my neighbours (bouncy castles, late night drinking from the adults, loud music, etc) I decided to get my own back while they were recovering from their hangovers. I opened all the windows, put on my CD walkman, yes I still use one, and sang along to some really cheesy music.

They were treated to 1980s Eurovision entries, Technicolour Dreamcoat and they'd given up by the end of the first act of Evita. Because I was wearing headphones, they could only hear me, and if I want to, I can sing really badly, lol.

Funnily, they were quiet after that.

Great idea ?

?

Thanks for the sensible advice. Will move to another room, as suggested and sort out new sheets . Will also make a couple of early phone calls tomorrow with number witheld while thealmost middle aged brat is sleeping off his hangover

Let it go! Sleep in a different room. It is hopefully only one night. Have a glass of wine. Tomorrow is a new day!

Sorry to hear this. I know how awful it is.
When my mother was dying I came home for some respite and my immediate neighbour had a party that went on until 9a.m the next morning. People were in the back drinking and laughing all night with the music blaring out.
I couldn’t face going round to complain. I was mentally wiped out.
Luckily they moved not long after that.
Can you try earplugs, change rooms front to back if possible, or listen to some music with headphones ?