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My Daughter Lied

(32 Posts)
Grannannan Mon 15-Nov-21 14:03:35

I fell out with an awful ( evil ) friend. She is cruel nasty mean. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself She put my Daughter down about her weight. She doesn’t care I’m in hospital for a very serious relationship. My Daughter said she would block her from Facebook but a friend of mine was visiting & showed me something on Facebook ( nothing to do with the ex friend) but I saw the ex friend had commented on my Daughter Facebook I looked at my Daughter friends on my friends phone & saw my Daughter is still friends with her on Facebook. So she’s able to do something on her phone which stops me seeing that’s she’s still friends But totally accidentally I saw my Daughter had lied to me. Why? & why would she want to be friends to a very very cruel woman. What should I do.
Please keep in mind my Daughter hates any kind of confrontation & would rather stop speaking to anyone

Grannannan Mon 15-Nov-21 14:06:57

My Daughter Lied1
Today 14:03 Grannannan

I fell out with an awful ( evil ) friend. She is cruel nasty mean. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself She put my Daughter down about her weight. She doesn’t care I’m in hospital for a very serious relationship. My Daughter said she would block her from Facebook but a friend of mine was visiting & showed me something on Facebook ( nothing to do with the ex friend) but I saw the ex friend had commented on my Daughter Facebook I looked at my Daughter friends on my friends phone & saw my Daughter is still friends with her on Facebook. So she’s able to do something on her phone which stops me seeing that’s she’s still friends But totally accidentally I saw my Daughter had lied to me. Why? & why would she want to be friends to a very very cruel woman. What should I do.
Please keep in mind my Daughter hates any kind of confrontation & would rather stop speaking to me than to be found out she’s lied.
This ex friend is extremely cruel. I’m having a very serious operation. Why would my Daughter lie. We live 200 miles away from her.
We never see her. My Daughter is 35 yrs old I’m so hurt

DiamondLily Mon 15-Nov-21 14:13:10

If you want to keep contact with your daughter, I would just ignore what she’s doing on FB, or who she is friends with.

If you’ve blocked/unfriended your ex friend, you shouldn’t be able to see her posts, going forward.

Social media can be a menace, your daughter is the only one that knows why she lied, but I would just concentrate on your operation and get yourself well.

That’s the priority.

Best wishes.

Esspee Mon 15-Nov-21 14:32:24

FGS come off of Facebook. It causes endless problems and is totally false.

Grannannan Mon 15-Nov-21 14:46:01

I agree. I wasn’t on Facebook my visiting friend showed me something on fb which is how I saw my Daughter has lied to me It’s dishonest it hurts. I have no idea why she lied. It was her idea to block this awful woman. Why lie

Lucca Mon 15-Nov-21 14:51:30

Next time just say you do not want to see anything on Facebook.

Smileless2012 Mon 15-Nov-21 14:58:00

Did you ask her too or did she volunteer Grannannan? I you asked her too or made it obvious that you expected her too, that would explain why she said she would but hasn't done so. She "hates any kind of confrontation".

It's hurtful if for example a family member or close friend remains in contact with someone whose hurt us but that's their choice isn't it.

I wouldn't mention it. I'm sorry this has upset you but as you found out by accident you're unlikely to know of any further FB communication so I'd let it go.

You say you're in hospital. I hope you feel better soonflowers.

Hithere Mon 15-Nov-21 15:07:08

It is your daughter's FB, not your page

You cannot tell her whom she can have as friends.

Grannannan Mon 15-Nov-21 15:10:11

Why should I do that when it’s the main way I get to keep in contact with family who live in USA & Australia

Grannannan Mon 15-Nov-21 15:11:28

I didn’t !!! Don’t you read.
It was her choice not mine

Keeper1 Mon 15-Nov-21 15:15:26

From what you have written she said she would block her not that she had. So perhaps she isa priority for your daughter and she just hasn’t got round to doing it? Perhaps she is more concerned with your serious operation?

Namsnanny Mon 15-Nov-21 15:24:50

We sometimes expect a lot from our friends and relatives. We expect them to do as they said for example.
I too would probably feel hurt, but she has her reasons.
Dont loose her over what is essentially a problem with your friend.
As you say if confronted she will stop contact. So bite and bite your tongue again.
Your relationship with your d matters more than her and this person's face book status.

Wishing you a quick recoveryflowers

VANECAM Mon 15-Nov-21 15:32:15

What a load of nonsense.
Take Facebook out of all this and no problem would exist.

Smileless2012 Mon 15-Nov-21 15:40:14

Yes I can read Grannannan but I missed your other post and TBH if your post @ 15.11 is an example of how you respond to people, I'm not surprised your D may be doing something she thinks you'll disapprove of, without telling youangry.

DiamondLily Mon 15-Nov-21 15:51:12

Grannannan

I agree. I wasn’t on Facebook my visiting friend showed me something on fb which is how I saw my Daughter has lied to me It’s dishonest it hurts. I have no idea why she lied. It was her idea to block this awful woman. Why lie

Well, the visiting friend should have stayed out of it. Ignore FB, and just concentrate on getting well.

Your daughter can be FB friends with whoever she wants to, to be honest.

MerylStreep Mon 15-Nov-21 15:59:07

My sister had some evil traits for which I broke contact with her. My daughter was very aware of my sisters character but never sopped seeing her.
I just accepted that their relationship was nothing to do with our relationship.
I assume your daughter is an adult? Treat her as such. It’s nothing to do with you who she is in contact with.

edith55 Mon 15-Nov-21 16:04:15

Definitely do your best to put it all on one side while you're in hospital and try not to worry. It seems like a mountain, but in the bigger picture its a molehill, you are more important to your daughter than the other person. There will be an explanation, but for now concentrate on yourself. Things like this can feel so painful, and you need to focus on getting better.
It will all come out in the wash

MercuryQueen Mon 15-Nov-21 16:25:30

Your daughter is an adult. Who she has on her FB is none of your concern.

As to why she may not have blocked the person, there's several possible reasons: she may have simply wanted to end the conversation, she may have forgotten, she may have changed her mind, she may not have wanted to argue with you about it.

None of which she's obligated to explain or justify. It's her social media, she can do as she pleases.

Sago Mon 15-Nov-21 16:26:16

Please delete Facebook and contact friends and family using what’s app.
FB is the root of a lot discord.

BlueBelle Mon 15-Nov-21 16:28:53

It really is none of your business who is on your daughters friends list and who isn’t ! She may have thought she took her off I ve done that before now or she may not have wanted to but certainly didn’t want a confrontation with you about it
By your earlier answer on here at 15.11 I didn’t !!! Don’t you read you come across as short tempered and very feisty
so perhaps she didn’t want a lecture from you
You look after your Fb page and let your daughter look after hers as she sees fit absolutely nothing to do with you at all

Concentrate on getting better maybe things have become over exaggerated in your mind because you are unwell

JeanneLeFol Mon 15-Nov-21 16:30:40

Smileless2012 - You are absolutely right.

Smileless2012 Mon 15-Nov-21 16:36:43

JeanneLeFol thank yousmile

BlueBelle Mon 15-Nov-21 16:41:16

Sago FB is every bit as good as WhatsApp, well a lot better as there is a lot you can use it for I ve been on it about 14 years and never ever had a problem Like anything it’s how you use it It’s extremely useful for many things including local groups, news, selling, projects, local history etc etc

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 15-Nov-21 18:14:33

I’ve never had a problem with FB either.

Concentrate on getting better and stop being so cross, most daughters tell fibs at some stage or another, often just to get their mothers off their backs, not all mothers snoop onto their FB pages ‘accidentally of course’ to check up on them.
Your daughter might have just unfollowed your ex friend, but it really isn’t your problem.

nexus63 Mon 15-Nov-21 18:24:35

this may sound silly but your daughter may not have blocked her so she can see what your friend has been saying, some people do this, i have facebook but only family on mine, i use it as i have been ill over the last three years and it is a quick way to get in touch with them as they are usually on there phones. i never say anything bad about anyone on facebook, if i needed to confront anybody who said anything about me then i do it with a phonecall. don't bother if your daughter lied, does she know how to block someone or has she clicked the button that says hide messages from this person. stop thinking about and leave it alone.