Neglected At Party

Ouch!

AiryFlyingFairy, I think you replied in the correct way, and with grace. I can only think that some guests didn't reply to the RSVP, leaving her with more guests than estimated. It's jut too bad you weren't paid more attention and accommodated when you did arrive.

Here it's not the done thing to organize your own party, you are the guest of honor if it's a birthday or retirement, etc. Someone else would be hosting, and perhaps if it was her husband or child then they didn't have experience in party-planning.

We did attend a 60th birthday of my SIL, her DH organized it (and not very well). There was barely enough food for a nibble, and it started at a time early enough in the evening that people expected more. Her sons quietly ordered pizza to save the evening. The thing is, they did offer to help plan, but her DH said he had it under control.

I remember going to my cousin’s wedding with my husband and our 2 small boys, 8 & 9 year olds, we were all sat on big round tables (we were sat with my sister and her d h and their 2 girls of similar age to our boys). It was a buffet and the bride & grooms table went first to get their food. We were the last table to go up to buffet table with literally nothing left. The hotel where it was held quickly made some tuna sandwiches for us. I was so disappointed as the actual buffet had some beautiful food on it at the beginning. I was extremely put out, due to the fact we had 4 small children with us. Knowing we had a 2 1/2 hour journey home, I remember having to stop at a fish n chip shop on the way home. Not a pleasant day 😏

BabsB
We went to a family wedding where there were drinks and canapés after the ceremony, then we went and had a sumptuous afternoon tea (à la Ritz but not actually there!) and my son ate as much as he could, thinking that was it.
Then we had an amazing barbecue in the evening. We wished we hadn't stuffed ourselves with sandwiches and cakes. But we still enjoyed the evening food.

Planning catering and drinks etc doesn't come naturally to a lot of people including me! I don't host parties any more as I get so stressed about it all beforehand, although I genuinely love having people over. Selecting and buying presents equally stresses me out but I digress. I think you are right to be annoyed but agree there's no point in saying anything about it.

I was babysitting for a friend who was excited to be going to her cousin's wedding about a 2 hour drive away just for the evening do.

She arrived back about midnight and all she'd been offered at the "pub" was a triangle of a dry sandwich, a sausage roll and some crisps.
Luckily another cousin seeing the situation invited a few guests back to hers where they had fish and chips and a good laugh about the mean catering

I'm reminded of an old friend who always moaned if there was too much food at parties because it meant that people stood around eating and drinking and not dancing. She and her OH enjoyed dancing whilst we liked watching them - for a good laugh. At her parties we were lucky if we were given crisps and nuts and some sausage rolls.

I’m sorry , I’m probably going to cause an upset but

Party starts at 7, ok but who arrives at 7 ?, I would arrive 7-30 / 8 so in my book 8.15 ok a little late but still ok.

Tables/chairs again , sorry, but surely you provide seating for everyone? The only place I would question is a bar/pub location, but even then people would want to sit when eating. Which brings me to food, party starts at 7 so food would be 8 ? And surely people would take a good hour eating ? And to run out, that’s the biggest no, I would die of shame.

So basically, party starts at 7, arriving at 9,15 I would except getting the remains of buffet, but 8.15 the party should be warming up and people starting their meals.

kittylester

How old are you, OP? Do you read any of the threads where people have real problems?

Geez. Does anyone ever confide in you?

AiryFlyingFairy

Attended friend's birthday party on Friday night. The party started at 7pm and we got there at 8.15. This was as I'd been abroad & back home that afternoon so it was a big rush to get there.
I had messaged friend to tell her we were running late but would get there ASAP
Anyway myself and Hubby arrived there to find all the food had finished. Also no seats.
A few other guests arrived even later so they didn't have seats/food either.
The venue wasn't large so she should have noticed must guests left without tables.
To add insult to injury, the 'Lucky Guests' were seated at tables with drinks, chocolates/ sweets. We didn't get any.
She is a friend of 20+ years & I'm disappointed she didn't look after us better.
Just writing this to get it out of my system/moan really.
She's just messaged me to saying Thanks for coming. Hope you enjoyed it.
Not sure how to respond.
Please tell me your neglected at party experiences!

We have friends who are always late (and I know you didn't have a choice on this, so not a dig at you), and I am always holding things back until they arrive. Whilst I am always so glad to see them, as I am sure your friend was to see you, it is difficult to hold back when you have many others attending, as at this particular party. I would just let it go, respond saying you were glad to see her and, as someone else has already said, apologise again for being late, and hope to see her very soon.

I get that people are saying let it go but surely if you're the hostess you make sure all your guests are catered for.

At my Auntie's funeral, my Mum's only sister, the immediate family went to the crematorium after the service while others who attended went straight to the wake. When we arrived the place was packed, everyone was tucking in and there was nowhere for my mum (then nearly 80) to sit until one kind soul gave up their seat.

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Most people seem to over cater here so I don’t think it would happen . Usually people are being urged to take leftovers home if anything. Your friends should take it up with the caterers really if the food ran out that quickly.

cstewartphilip

Message deleted

SPAM! Poster has been busy on other threads.
Reported.

Nanagem I agree with you about timing.
All of the parties that I’ve been to (admittedly not a huge amount) people arrive in dribs and drabs, depending on work, kids and other commitments.
It’s not like a sit down meal.
I’ve never known all the food to run out in just over an hour!
Did everyone rush in at once and just start scoffing?
I’m not fussed about eating out, I’m more interested in chatting and drinking.
I’d be annoyed if I couldn’t sit down, but I’m more than capable of sorting that out myself.
It sounds like a slightly odd party to me

nanna8

Most people seem to over cater here so I don’t think it would happen . Usually people are being urged to take leftovers home if anything. Your friends should take it up with the caterers really if the food ran out that quickly.

Yes, I quite agree. Either there wasn’t nearly enough food, or there were some very greedy people there