This post reminds me of what happened to our niece. She and her husband didn't have a lot of money but they were very careful, did without a lot of things to make sure that they were able to save money towards buying a new house. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of telling her mother about their savings; her mother, using tons of emotional cajolling, insisted that she give the money to her younger brother who was in massive debt. (Looking back, of course, the mum couldn't bear his moaning and threats to move back home and wanted someone-else to bail him out). My niece, without her husband knowing, gave him the money "as a loan" which he promised to pay back, and then spent it all on a holiday with his mates! You can imagine the fallout - I thought that my niece and her husband were going to part - he was SO mad. The brother has, of course, never paid them back, is back on mum's sofa, and is still being chased for the debts, and mum still badgers my niece to help him out (but all their savings are now in her husband's name, because he no longer trusts her, and husband no longer speaks to his MIL). Sometimes, you have to learn to say NO - even to family (especially to family!)