Updating will

Seriously?

Would it be possible for you to reach out to your daughters again now that your husband is out of your life?If they still want nothing to do with you I would enjoy being an substitute Grandma to your nieces children and leave your money to them in your Will. I don't think you need to tell them that you are doing so,just do it.

I sometimes wonder if some of these posts are true! Would any woman in this day and age, and with what we know, stay with an abusive or violent partner?

@ladyleftfieldlover I stayed with my DH and had a terrible life because I'd do anything for my dd's U wanted them to have a better life.

@avitor1 my dd's have resisted any contact I've made in the past when I have sent letters to them they've been ignored and I've not been allowed to give my gd her Keepsake box I made her.
They've moved on

I not u sorry

Are you actually that ignorant? He was a vile disgusting man and what he said made me sick. How can you even defend him?

Don’t you dare say you stayed with him for their benefit.

Do what you want with the money. But never contact them again.

Not convinced.

Nor me.

@bibity I stayed with him because we always had no money when the dd's were growing up I thought the money from his mother's will could give them a leg up in the future. It cost me a lot to live like this but I still did it for my dd's however they're not interested.

What he said is awful if not taken into context. DH did not abuse dd in this way but believed her rejection of him would have only been necessary had he of done so. My friend also agreed he was not putting it as best he should but understands what he meant.

No. You stayed because you wanted money.
It was disgusting. Full stop.

What an absolute failure of a mother to even try to defend that.

Again do whatever you want. At least they are free of you.

Well it's very rare that I am lost for words, but I am.

It is also very rare for Bibbity and me to agree, but I agree with you Bibbity 100%.

Shock, horror, your daughters are not interested, are you surprised. You put the possibility of money before their happiness. Which is crap actually because you'd already been in and out of this hideous relationship for years before the will was changed. Kids are not blind and you're deluding yourself if you think they didn't know what was going on. Assuming of course there is any truth in this tale of woe.

I don’t often comment on these threads but have to say, I’m with smiless on this.

This is not a tale of woe I'm finally very happy and moving on which made me think I should include changing my will, there isn't that much left out of what was left to my husband I live in a small bungalow with no more savings and a minimum wage job and there wouldn't be enough to recognise my dd's and my nieces and their DC. My gd has forgotten me so I want to recognise those who are important now not past reasons

It seems to have been a very flawed plan then because if you stayed with your Husband to get your hands on his money for your Daughters as you claim, why the hell did you spend it?

You’ve done quite well for yourself then, stayed married to get the money, now spent most of it and wondering if you can get your family back in your old age.

You couldn’t make it up could you?

@flexiblefriend I had to live on something I couldn't claim benefits at that point as I had too much in savings and when I bought my property it needed work doing to make it livable and inturn this upped the value of it for when I am gone

Oopsadaisy1 I have all the family I need my dd's and GC have gone I accept that. I have made up for it with my brother's family since he's died and want to leave the property to them instead.

TBH if this is a true story then you should leave everything you have to your children and Grandchildren.

Full marks for honesty Chookcook.

The one thing that absolutely floored me was the fact that you stayed with your DH , because you knew he was in line for a large inheritance and when he popped his clogs, you would get it all. The only redeeming factor is that you thought it would help your daughters. Anyway, it didn’t. .....you blew the lot!,,,
I wish you the best. As for writing them out of your will, that’s up to you. ....I am glad that you and your nieces have formed a great bond. I am really pleased for you. Ofcourse, you must leave your nieces something, but not everything. Good luck !!

Thank you @crazyH. Everything I did was for my dd's.

When they were young I had holes in my shoes and no winter coat. I never went for a night out for years and went without food so they could eat.

When my husband was being horrible to me with them present, I carried on like normal so they didn't notice I went cap in hand to my siblings to ask for money so they had good Christmas presents. Some siblings used to say they wouldn't give money if DH was still in my life so I hid him and risked my relationship with my family just so my dd's could have what they wanted.

I did this for them and everyone of my friends and family knows what I did for my dd's and they feel for me that despite this I lost them.

My nieces children love me and love coming to my house. They scream and cry when it's time to go home to their parents, they didn't even do that with their real grandparents. Everybody says how lovely it is and how my dd's have made their children miss out on family by having no contact with anybody.
It is sad but I can't live in the past. I did all I can selflessly for them, now it's my turn to be happy and those that make me happy should be rewarded not those who I've not seen in 20 years.

This could be the plot of a Disney animated film or a Catherine Cookson mini-series. Have you ever thought of selling your story?

I need to hide this thread.....