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AIBU

Come on!

(127 Posts)
Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 14:40:50

AIBU to want my peers, husband, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, certain friends to get to grips with new(ish) technology?

I’m getting fed up of them not being able to; return an Amazon parcel, set up and use WhatsApp, create a new email address, use no-coin parking meters, and so on. Some of these people are a decade younger. So I have to show them how to do it, and they never retain it for next time.

No one taught me I had to figure it out by trial and error, mainly error I admit. But I’m expected to sort these out for them, again and again.

And they insist it’s not them - it’s the mobile/tablet/system. Grrr….

You might say ‘let them get on with it, that’s the only way they’ll learn’ but honestly it’s as if their brain is shuttered.
Can’t do! Won’t do!

Oreo Tue 07-Feb-23 14:47:36

Sending back an Amazon parcel is faffy but doable, I can’t get
WhatsApp as my phone is cheap and old.
No coin parking often doesn’t work, today the emergency number had to be called and we all waited 20 mins while a guy sorted out the machine😡
I’m not old either, but tech isn’t always easy so have a bit of patience maybe?

Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 14:54:29

But these are actual problems solved with issues. Everything WAS working as it ought to.

I have plenty of patience - do you imagine I’m huffing and puffing? No, I smile sweetly and help out. It’s just now I’m having a rant instead of at them.

GagaJo Tue 07-Feb-23 14:54:59

I can cope with some stuff but some things are beyond me. The steps have to be simple and intuitive for me and if they're not, I can't cope.

Ironically, my work is 100% online. Learned that through trial and error.

Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 14:55:03

without

Susiewakie Tue 07-Feb-23 15:03:25

No if you've shown them what to do many times it's not unreasonable to rant lol My mother is excused she's 87 but DH SIL etc really need to pay attention !

Theexwife Tue 07-Feb-23 15:09:04

Maybe they just have no interest in using tech, if you do not want to help them then you don't have to.

SusieB50 Tue 07-Feb-23 15:10:33

I’m with you Quokka with people not knowing how to do on line things . I have just had to buy a friend’s train ticket as she can’t ( won’t) use on line to buy things. I now have £60 cash which I don’t want really. This friend also won’t do on line banking so can’t transfer the money to me 🙄. She is younger than me , was a teacher so surely she can learn ?! My younger brother also doesn’t trust buying or banking online but is quite happy for me to “take the risk” to do it on his behalf and then gives me a cheque.

MiniMoon Tue 07-Feb-23 15:12:52

Oh Quokka I feel your pain. I'm fed up with having to be DH's secretary! He only does the basics with the Internet and online business. As for coinless parking metres, we'll, we won't go there, quite literally. He will find another car park! He won't have WhatsApp even though all the rest of the family, are on it, self included.
We all call him a dinosaur. Grr!

Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 15:14:27

Theexwife

Maybe they just have no interest in using tech, if you do not want to help them then you don't have to.

I’m not forcing them to use new technology! smile

They come at me with phrases like ‘this doesn’t work and I’ve done everything right!’ I admit sometimes I’m tempted to tell them to ‘go away’ or words to that effect, but they can guilt trip really well.

Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 15:16:44

SusieB50

I’m with you Quokka with people not knowing how to do on line things . I have just had to buy a friend’s train ticket as she can’t ( won’t) use on line to buy things. I now have £60 cash which I don’t want really. This friend also won’t do on line banking so can’t transfer the money to me 🙄. She is younger than me , was a teacher so surely she can learn ?! My younger brother also doesn’t trust buying or banking online but is quite happy for me to “take the risk” to do it on his behalf and then gives me a cheque.

Exactly!

Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 15:18:00

MiniMoon

Oh Quokka I feel your pain. I'm fed up with having to be DH's secretary! He only does the basics with the Internet and online business. As for coinless parking metres, we'll, we won't go there, quite literally. He will find another car park! He won't have WhatsApp even though all the rest of the family, are on it, self included.
We all call him a dinosaur. Grr!

Thank you!

Judy54 Tue 07-Feb-23 15:23:49

Sometimes a skills swap is a good idea. Perhaps they could teach you about something they are good at in return for your time and effort in instructing them on technology. Most people have something that they can share from their knowledge too.

BlueBelle Tue 07-Feb-23 16:00:02

I bet there’s some things they re good at that you aren’t though

Dickens Tue 07-Feb-23 16:05:21

My partner worked with high pressure safety release systems in the oil & gas and nuclear industry.

He could prevent a nuclear disaster in a storage plant - but would not be able to use a smart phone to inform everyone that it was now safe grin.

Ladyleftfieldlover Tue 07-Feb-23 16:11:25

There is one lady on my WI committee who refuses to use the internet. She’s frankly maddening. I have to print everything off for her and woe betide if something is missed out! She gets extremely upset and accuses everyone of forgetting about her. Her daughter has offered to teach her how to use a computer or she could learn for free in the local library. Actually, she’s the only WI member who has to have everything printed off. Even my ancient aunt (before she got dementia) was happy to sit with her tablet in her 80s, swopping messages and photos with her granddaughter in Dubai.

silverlining48 Tue 07-Feb-23 16:25:13

Clearly a luddite as I can't get to grips with what to me is new and very confusing technology. Its explained but needs to be repeated (and it never is) even then I dont retain it and if I get a strange message on the ipad I dont understand what it means.
I can do other things though, am reasonably intelligent just hit a brick wall with tech.
As for parking, I just want to put the money in, not wave my phone at it.

Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 16:25:19

Dickens

My partner worked with high pressure safety release systems in the oil & gas and nuclear industry.

He could prevent a nuclear disaster in a storage plant - but would not be able to use a smart phone to inform everyone that it was now safe grin.

grin grin grin

rockgran Tue 07-Feb-23 16:31:52

I have kept up with modern technology as I always feared being left behind but have several friends who are not keen. I have a lovely neighbour who will not have anything to do with the internet and then has copious problems which I often sort out. I don't mind helping but I'm sure the amount of trouble he goes to to avoid life online would be better spent learning how to embrace it. Many firms now just don't cater for letter writing and phone calls. No one is born knowing how to use a computer but everyone should learn. The internet isn't going away!

Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 16:34:41

That’s a good point rockgran

MerylStreep Tue 07-Feb-23 16:46:46

I know all these people. 😱
What really gets me is: these people weren’t old when tech came on stream for the general population.
It was obvious which way the wind was blowing.
Unlike many on here my job didn’t involve tech.
I was a bookbinder and sewed books by hand and machine.
Although now those machines will all be set up by pressing buttons.

Casdon Tue 07-Feb-23 16:58:21

rockgran

I have kept up with modern technology as I always feared being left behind but have several friends who are not keen. I have a lovely neighbour who will not have anything to do with the internet and then has copious problems which I often sort out. I don't mind helping but I'm sure the amount of trouble he goes to to avoid life online would be better spent learning how to embrace it. Many firms now just don't cater for letter writing and phone calls. No one is born knowing how to use a computer but everyone should learn. The internet isn't going away!

I agree rockgran. It certainly isn’t going away, so for now and the future it’s so much easier to embrace the change and learn how to do at least the essentials. If you don’t, soon you won’t be able to do so many basic things like paying for the carpark, using a train, using tickets to go to see anything at the theatre, get discounts when you go shopping etc. etc. Ive found it’s better not to help when somebody asks for it, but to sit with them and insist they do it for themselves, as that’s the only way to learn. I do feel for people who have poor eyesight though, my mum who’s in her nineties is now really struggling because she can’t see the screen well at all.. otherwise, I don’t think there’s much excuse other than people being scared they will do something wrong.

PinkCosmos Tue 07-Feb-23 16:59:33

I have just been given a cheque from someone who doesn't do internet banking. I now have to trail into town to deposit the cheque. Not that easy when I work full time and the bank is shut at the weekend.

I am also DH's secretary!! It's funny how he finds it easy to order things for himself online but he can never work out how to return them without my 'help i.e. doing it for him!

Hithere Tue 07-Feb-23 17:05:11

I tried to teach my parents how to send an email - not even open a new account!

It was like teaching a child how to stay still for 2 minutes, impossible

3 sessions of 1 hour each, I gave up.

Explaining why the button was located here and not there because they thought it was better for them and they didn't understand I couldn't change that for them - I am not google!

Somehow, they learneGoogle!

Another battle was virus management in computers and why downloading any "cute attachments" was a no no....
I didn't entertain that one at all

Hithere Tue 07-Feb-23 17:06:16

However, they learned how to email , oops