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New baby almost due

(12 Posts)
nathansgran47 Thu 06-Feb-14 20:08:14

Hi Am due to stay with my daughter and son in law to look after 3year old grandson whilst new baby arrives. They live 200 miles away from us so although we talk every week on Skype and they stay with us about 6 weeks a year I am a bit nervous about how I will cope when daughter goes into hospital. Grandson knows what will happen but I'm afraid he is coming to get really upset when mummy goes especially if its when he is asleep.
Had anyone any advice on preparation and distraction...?

Nelliemoser Thu 06-Feb-14 20:19:23

Get there a few days ahead so he really knows and trusts you. I looked after my DGS when he was 11mnths. The first night he was good but very anxious but the second night we had a lovely time.

nathansgran47 Thu 06-Feb-14 21:07:54

Thank you for that. Will take your advice

bikergran Thu 06-Feb-14 21:35:12

with a bit of luck mummy won't be away for too long, and in the mean time perhaps just make sure little man is fully occupied enjoy smile

NanKate Thu 06-Feb-14 21:52:33

Your concern is very understandable. I too wondered how my first grandson almost 2 at the time was going to cope with having a new brother when he was born a year ago.

This is what I did - I concentrated on grandson 1 and explained to my daughter in law that although I was thrilled with the new arrival grandson 2 I wanted to keep Gds1 happy. So we took him out and about doing all his favourite things, such as the softplay area and the local garden centre. I kept reminding him that he was the big boy of the family. He frequently asked if the new baby would still be there when we got back and I just said yes.

I would say that for about 8 weeks when we visited he seemed a bit down but slowly and surely he returned to his old self and now a year later he happily accepts his little brother and even quite likes him !

If your new grandchild arrives during the night your first grandson may not even wake. If he does just sit with him quietly in his bedroom tell what has happened and then say 'it's time to settle down now' then I would just pat him gently for a few moments then leave. If he cries I would come back and pat him again but NOT chat, then repeat this procedure until all is quiet.

This has worked for me and something similar could work for you.

Best of luck.

nathansgran47 Fri 07-Feb-14 19:25:05

That's all really useful.Feel much better about it. Have arranged to go a week early. Fingers crossed new baby agrees with date,

Mishap Fri 07-Feb-14 19:33:49

Definitely a good idea to go early. You will have become part of the furniture by then. Most children do cope with this transition, even though it might be a challenge.

Take lots of things for him to do - scissors, crayons, plasticine, scrap paper and material etc. and get something new out of your bag every now and again to start a new activity. Distraction is very good - especially if it something that is fun. Make a card for the new baby, so he has a contribution to the proceedings.

I am sure it will all be fine - the wee lad will weather this as all older siblings do in the end. he is a lucky lad to have devoted grandma there for him.

Vesper Wed 12-Mar-14 10:52:00

I agree with going early. My tip if for mum & son to have a little task or something special they like. Your daughter can say "while I'm away, make sure that you show Grandma how to feed the birds" or "help Grandma look after my special mug for me".
Also, I still have the card my son made for me when I was away having his little brother - very special!

Gagagran Wed 12-Mar-14 11:11:45

Have a little present tucked away for the new baby to bring for his/her big brother. My DD brought a London taxi model for her big brother - which he loved.

GillT57 Wed 12-Mar-14 15:44:29

When my daughter was born, she 'brought' a Thomas the Tank Engine carrying case for her big brother ( made my eyes water a bit shock). So, when he came with grandma and grandad to meet his sister he got the gift. I still have a picture in my mind of his little chubby legs as he walked down the hospital corridor holding my Mum's hand, and carrying the train case in the other. he is 20 years old now and towers above me, but he still remember meeting his sister and receiving his present that she had brought for him. he was 26 months when his sister was born. He had spent that weekend with his grandparents as we had a suspicion that his sister was on her way

Galen Wed 12-Mar-14 16:42:42

I got an engine for dgd2 to give to train mad dgd1

gratefulgran54 Wed 12-Mar-14 17:27:19

Having just done the same thing nathansgran I found that doing what he normally does with Mummy kept my GS calm and happy.
DS and DiL had been brilliant at preparing him too, and he knew that Mummy had to go to the hospital so the doctor could give her the baby, and that Daddy would go too to help the doctor.
Luckily for us, DGD came on a day that he went to playschool, so that took the morning up. When I picked him up we went home to have lunch, and then went to the hospital to meet his sister (she obligingly arrived at lunchtime). He was much re-assured to see Mummy and Daddy, and excited to meet his sister.
As DiL had to stay for a bit longer, we left Mummy to 'have a nap' at the hospital, and then went to McDonalds to have a celebratory 'tea'.
Sadly, he didn't manage to stay awake long enough to see everyone when they got home, but he knew they would be there in the morning, so was quite happy for Granny to put him to bed.
I hope all goes well for you and yours, and congratulations in advance.
If you keep it 'exciting' and re-iterate what a wonderful big brother he is going to be, I'm sure all will go smoothly.
Enjoy smile